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Post by messimo on Jun 30, 2010 23:23:08 GMT -5
As I've been trying to get the house cleaned up, I've noticed two things about myself. 1. I spend gobs of time choosing an area to tackle, and then once I've chosen that area, it's difficult for me to actually get started. I know that all I have to do is start with one thing, but that one thing just seems to be difficult to pick. I know this is demand resistance, and once I get going, it's okay. However... 2. I'll get to a certain point and then just stop. I have many areas in my house that I started on with decluttering and/or cleaning, but just never completed. Sometimes it's just a few things that are left and they would take maybe just 15 minutes to clear off, but I just don't finish. Other times I'll get halfway done and then just stop. Am I odd? Why am I so unmotivated to finish what I've started?
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Post by glimmercat on Jun 30, 2010 23:36:20 GMT -5
Two peas in a pod, we are!! I don't think you're odd at all. Seems to me that's what this site is for: getting help/information/support so that these "impossible" tasks become possible. And you're here, so you're doing something right ! I only got here at the beginning of this month and already I've made improvements with my clutter. Listen to these people; they know whereof they speak. There is a lot of wisdom to be gained from this place. jmho Edit-- Sorry, just realised you're not a newbie ! Well, I stand by my post. meow
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Post by clutterific on Jun 30, 2010 23:59:08 GMT -5
I do the same, especially the leaving a few things one. I can't count the number of times I have gotten a huge area almost cleared only to stop and have it slip back several months later.
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Post by success19 on Jul 1, 2010 0:20:35 GMT -5
I get surges of energy when I do alot - then nothing for awhile - then stuff piles up and I make plans, procrastinate, make plans = eventually I do something - but not enough.
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Post by Peach on Jul 1, 2010 0:53:30 GMT -5
I've been thinking about this recently, as I do the same thing -- start but never completely finish.
Since DH moved out 4 weeks ago and took all his stuff, my house could be tidied up in one day. Only one day of effort and I could have a clutter-free house. But here I sit. With clutter. Thinking about how little is left to be done.
Why is that? Am I afraid to have a neat and tidy home? Will I be "lost" without having clutter hanging over my head to do?
I do this in other areas as well.
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Post by Morningstar on Jul 1, 2010 2:02:27 GMT -5
No, you're not odd - I do those two things too, and not just for things squalor-related. I'm not sure why I do this, but there's obviously a payoff on some level...
MS
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jul 1, 2010 3:12:28 GMT -5
I do that, too. Sometimes it's because I've reduced the squalor to a level where it doesn't distress me enough to continue, and other times, I think I don't want the area to look "perfect," because then it's just a dropped crumb away from being spoiled.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Jul 1, 2010 4:59:55 GMT -5
starting and never finishing was dated back to early childhood in my memories and I remember my dad telling me that I always started doing something but never finished the project or whatever it was....wierd....hugs btt
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Post by lizzie on Jul 1, 2010 5:54:34 GMT -5
starting things is appealing on a lot of grounds, but then the ongoing slog... can become less interesting. Lots of people prefer starting new things to actually ever finishing them.. the rewards seem less as one goes along...
Husband of a friend of mine was always promising things, everyone would get excited, he felt great, plenty of rewards in that - but then he never did the things he had promised - really, he had already got the reward... similarities with cleaning I think, in that some of us find the starting to be where we get all enthused, then the interest wanes...
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Post by Script on Jul 1, 2010 6:46:49 GMT -5
Sometimes it's just a few things that are left and they would take maybe just 15 minutes to clear off, but I just don't finish. I once read about something called The Closure Principle. "In psychology, the principle that, when one views fragmentary stimuli forming a nearly complete figure, one tends to ignore the missing parts and perceive the figure as whole." Easy example: you see a neon sign with a few letters missing. R_staur_nt Your mind supplies the missing letters. Likewise, in home projects, your mind supplies the image, idealized to be sure, of your almost-finished task. "The room is done!".....when all you've really 'done' is make the bed. Kids are really notorious about this. There is also another human urge actually to finish things. In some people this urge is hugely strong: like the lady who starts clearing the table before the family is finished eating because she doesn't like to see 'mess'. In other people, this urge is hugely weak: like many of us here who just 'can't seem to finish the job'. Because? *we are bored with the job *we like the beginning better than the ending of a job *we are afraid of failing, so we leave room to keep on correcting the job *we like doing this type of job *all or none of the above and then some. I have had a lot of experience in working with deadlines, because of my bookkeeping career. Therefore, I like to finish the job. I have far more trouble STARTING..........some demand resistance in me for sure [see: Script's ongoing war with herself over the dusting]
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Post by wtfhappened on Jul 1, 2010 6:52:46 GMT -5
not odd at all, huge amount of demand resistance in me... and I feel a lot like howardsGF, I get a spot to a level that's 'good enough' and then move on to something that's bugging me a LOT more.
/wtf
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Post by messymimi on Jul 1, 2010 7:02:42 GMT -5
My first thought, when I read the topic, was that yes, of course you are odd, just like all of us are!
In these things, you are similar to many here, me included. It is difficult to follow through and pick up that first piece of whatever, and difficult to finish, often because we are afraid of it being judged when we are done. Too many years of hearing, "If you can't do it right, don't do it!" paralyzes us and we just don't do it, because no matter how hard we tried, it wasn't "right" the way they thought it should be.
You will not be judged. Done is better than perfect, and good enough is easier to maintain. If someone judges you in that way, consider them small minded and be satisfied with what you have done.
messymimi
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jul 1, 2010 8:41:08 GMT -5
And don't be too hard on yourself. You have to start a project in order to finish it, so everyone starts more projects than they finish. Duh.
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Jul 1, 2010 10:50:15 GMT -5
This post reminds me of the "Seinfeld' episode where Crazy Neighbor Kramer busts in and announced he is going to remodel his apartment by building "Levels". Yet all he does is talk about "Levels." He never gets started!
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Post by gottaproblem on Jul 1, 2010 14:43:51 GMT -5
???Oh my gosh, I am like Kramer. I talk about the wonderful clearing out of the clutter, but am not actually making any headway at this moment. Thanks for the kick in the rear!
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