hi,
I just "got" that I am a clothes hoarder. I'd never thought of it this way. I think other people would, though. I have so many clothes! Summer and Winter wardrobes, in sizes 8, 10, 12, 14, and a few 16s. As you can tell, my weight has fluctuated a lot, and hope springs eternal. I finally got rid of my size 6s not to long ago.
It started with my DM. She is one too. We look good in the same colors, though we have different body types. She has "handed down" clothes to me my whole life. I have always felt guilty about getting rid of them. She inventoried ALL of her clothes at one point. Each on, socks, headbands, I mean all of them, had a four digit inventory number written on them. She would write down the ones she gave to me. So I always assumed that she would know if I ditched them.
When I was the skinniest of all my friends, I would end up with everybody's discards. But it wasn't just leftover clothes that I hoarded. I did (and still do) PLENTY of shopping. I would get quite obsessed when I shopped, too, because I was a "careful" shopper, so somehow I thought that I had to look at all the inventory of all the stores before I could make a decision. It would take me hours, as you can imagine.
I even collected costumes. The theatre department where I went to school would have a silent auction of clothes every Halloween. It got crazy.
I didn't know how to let go of them. I could always come up with a reason why to hang on to them. the were the right color, or a "brand name find" from the thrift store, or were part of a "professional" wardrobe (I've never had a corporate job), or would fit again someday (large or small)... et cetera, ad nauseum.
When I started to declutter my life, I started to learn the "rules" for why to keep something and why not to. This helped immensely. When I started to release the guilt in my life, I started to be able to let go of things that people gave me, that I didn't like.
I also realized, that although I had a ton of clothes, I had very few that were appropriate for my age and lifestyle. I didn't wear most of them.
Another strange twist was that as I shifted from retail to thrift shopping (to save money, at least) I realized that there was NO shortage of clothes in the world! There were tens of off-white t-shirt style tops in the thrift store every time I went. I didn't have to buy all of them. "They would make more."
This helped me to let go of the ones I had that didn't fit that well on me, because I knew I could get better ones. As I started to regain some self-esteem, I started to watch TV shows like "What Not To Wear" to learn what actually looked good on my body type. I got a bit more objective, and therefor a bit more selective.
DH was not happy with my spending (another story) but he said as long as I tossed one item of clothing for every new one I brought in. I actually tried to do this, and it helped. However, I would run out of hangers pretty often, so I knew that I wasn't being completely ruthless. I snuck new hangers into the house, four or six at a time.
I started a new round of therapy a couple of years ago, and began to address some of my obsessive behaviors and the original trauma behind them. This summer I felt like I was ready to come out of my cocoon a bit. At the urging of friends, I got a makeover.
I got my hair colored (it was 50% grey). I started dieting and loosing weight. I learned, at 50, how to put on makeup by watching tutorials on YouTube. I had always been famous for looking "put together" and having everything match, but I started to read books about dressing at 50 and in a size 14. There was always room for improvement.
At my last trip to the thrift store, I found the book called "What Not To Wear" by the British hosts of the TV show in the UK by the same name. It has very simple rules, and they are illustrated by the two hosts, who have opposite body types. Its a short, small book that I read in one sitting.
Ch. 1: Big Boobs. Ch. 2: No Boobs. Ch. 3: Big Arms. Ch. 4: Big Butt... you get the picture. the photos are humorous, and the commentary is very funny too.
Reading it was a revelation. The lightening-bolt kind. I suddenly understood the exact cut(s) I looked good in, and what I didn't. So I went through my current wardrobe (I have two large closets) and pulled EVERYTHING that was suspect.
For example--I am big boobed, and jewel necklines don't look good on us. As they say in the book: "breasts take on a lumpy quality like badly made custard."
As I was pulling out all the t-shirt type tops, I realized that I hadn't worn them all season. I recognized that I had actually wanted to dump them on some level, but I didn't know "why." I had never analyzed that they were all in the same style. well duh, I didn't feel attractive in them! But I thought I "had" to keep them, because, after all, they were a "wardrobe basic." So I had them in literally all of my colors.
I went on a tear and started on the out-of-season/other sizes closet. I couldn't believe how many tops I pulled. Especially since I had just made a sizable donation only a week or so ago. The mound of hangers started to grow on my bed. At last count, I had discarded almost 70 items! Yes, that is seven-oh. and I haven't started on the pants yet.
They are briefly listed for tax purposed, folded up, and put in large shopping bags. I am going to see if I can consign any of them, and the rest is going to the Goodwill. Lucky for me, they are right next door to each other. I'm going to see about selling the hangers, too. I don't want to give myself the idea that I need to "fill the space back up."
I can't tell you how free I feel right now! And what a boost to my confidence it all is. I am looking forward to actually planning my clothes shopping, based on what I have and what would make it work better. Before it was an impossible task.
While I was at it, I let go of some high heels. My podiatrist has said no more. Honestly I need to let go of all of them, but it's hard to give up the last vestiges of youth.
I hope my story inspires other clothes hoarders to tell your story too. I still have a ways to go, but this last step was significant progress.
~Lizzie Lou
