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Post by mellowyellow on May 19, 2008 13:52:05 GMT -5
It struck me as fascinating that I had this "in my gut" feeling of fear that SS is closing. I am not a cowardly person, and I can handle problems... So it is amazing to know how vulnerable I am to sudden change.
In a way, it makes me question whether SS had become a type of (healthier) addiction to replace my addiction to disorder and mess...??
It shows me how deeply seeded (seated?) this fear is, and how I am completely unspontaneous. I am ultra cautious, and I have to overanalyze most things I do. And I realize this kicks in with my procrastination and often renders me unable to act.
And you know what... that's okay. The more I learn to deal with this personality quirk, the more I feel I understand myself and respect myself, rather than criticize or feel ashamed or odd. I recognize that the state of my home merely reflects the state of my mind.. In moments of turmoil and fear, things have a tendency of being a bit chaotic... and the house suffers.
The interesting thing is that lately, when things are a little crazy, I find myself going backwards (or forwards?). I force myself to do some minor cleaning... and in a matter of minutes, as things start looking better outwardly, my mind starts feeling better inwardly. Very cathartic.
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Post by margaret56 on May 19, 2008 14:21:27 GMT -5
Interesting post. Your last paragraph touches on two things I think are central to working one's way out of squalor.
One, that action cures fear. And two, that motivation follows action.
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bobraxton
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3
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Post by bobraxton on May 19, 2008 14:43:38 GMT -5
Today I am grateful for this much continuity.
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Post by mellowyellow on May 19, 2008 15:16:56 GMT -5
I'm glad you stuck with your "usual" nickname, KrazyKatLady. It makes me feel at home to see familiar names starting to "light up" the forum.
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Post by hypatia on May 19, 2008 19:08:00 GMT -5
I know when I first saw that SS was going to be closing (for lack of a better word), I was terrified. Knowing that there are others who have either overcome similar struggles or are currently fighting the same battle has been a great help for me. In real life I feel so alone in my struggle that it is overwhelming, the connection with others and being able to participate in the WITs on Listzilla has made such a huge difference.
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Post by threeg on May 20, 2008 14:18:35 GMT -5
I am not a fan of change at all, and right now I can't even figure out how to change the font or color, but I'm glad that we are here (together) anyway. 3gisme
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Post by suchamess on May 20, 2008 16:26:02 GMT -5
I'm glad we have this place. I was sad to see that SS is closing, just as I really really needed it (and you guys!) to motivate me.
I hope everyone comes on over here.
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Post by metamorpha on May 20, 2008 20:20:59 GMT -5
I was worried, too. A few days ago I had a problem with a neighbor (that I haven't even gotten around to posting here, how strange) that I really needed help with. First, I couldn't log in, and then when I did log in, the first thing I read was the announcement SS was closing. I'm so happy that people stepped up to the bat, and decided to keep the ball rolling. I appreciate it so much, and I'm one of the people who hadn't really realized how important all of you had become. Hmm. Now where's that kissy smiley??
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Post by suchamess on May 20, 2008 20:33:22 GMT -5
Suchamess, I love your avatar! That's awesome. thank you. It seemed fitting
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Post by razy on May 20, 2008 21:01:25 GMT -5
I too am frightened of change. It has taken me about 3 days to process the closing of SS and to come here. It is good to see familiar names and I suspect there is familiar people here with new names. Is there a list anywhere where people are saying that they have changed names?
In honour of the new site I have been doing some amazing housework, including wiping down the top of the washing machine! I don't think I have ever done that before.
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Post by Rennie Ellen on May 21, 2008 15:15:08 GMT -5
MellowYellow, "It struck me as fascinating that I had this "in my gut" feeling of fear that SS is closing. I am not a cowardly person, and I can handle problems... So it is amazing to know how vulnerable I am to sudden change." I'm the same way. I don't mind change if it's a gradual process and it's a GOOD thing for my life. But in the last 11 years, all the change I've experienced has been sudden and devastating -- divorce, cancer, disability, abusive child, bankruptcy. So for me, I have every reason to fear sudden change. I just found out over the weekend a dear friend died in a car accident, then yesterday I come online to SS for comfort and support and find -- it's closing! Immediately I think, another sudden change in my life that's not good. I'm going to lose all my friends on here. But thanks to Missy for setting up this forum!!! I'm so glad you're still here and now I'm breathing easier. I sure do appreciate y'all.
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Post by Morningstar on May 23, 2008 10:53:46 GMT -5
Hello everyone, it's comforting to see some familiar names! Thanks for directing us to this new website Mellow Yellow. I have only just found out about PP's decision re SS and I'm dumbstruck. I'm experiencing a myriad of emotions right now - panic, abandonment, that in-your-gut fear that a few others have mentioned, grief, so much more I can't describe. I discovered SS a few years ago and it has literally been a lifesaver for me (squalor drove me into deep depression and nearly suicidal at one point). I had tried many things before, flylady, prescription anti-depressants, counselling and all the self-help books I could find - all helped in their own way, and in a way was part of a journey that lead me here. Nothing made quite the difference and provided a breakthough in the squalor and squalorous thinking that SS did. Additionally, the fact that it had been started by a fellow New Zealander made it feel like a safe port in a storm and that I'd arrived 'home'. It has been the one constant in the midst of mum dying, loosing most of my beloved rabbits to pasteurella, breakdown in family and personal relationships, unsteady employment and financial hardship, having to give up practially all my outside interests and voluntary work due to petrol and work constraints (thereby killing whatever semblance of social life and interaction I had outside of work, immediate family, church and SS) Whatever was going on in the outside world, I would log into chat, or WITs thread, and clean, chat and toss. I'm aware that I have become dependent on SS, maybe a little too dependent, as at times I can't get started on anything until having a challenge buddy in chat or posting in WITs. I'm not sure what else to say, I'm still trying to process it. It's the wee small hours at the mo - I woke up, couldn't get back to sleep, so decided to check in on SS while waiting for sleep to catch up....no way am I going to fall asleep now I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Rennie. ((((Hugs))))
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Post by Minnibella on May 23, 2008 13:43:24 GMT -5
Fuzzychow,
Welcome!!!
We are honored to have you here.
Blessings
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