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Post by heylady1 on Sept 2, 2008 16:20:16 GMT -5
Just need to vent! The only things I wanted to do today was do water changes on a couple of tanks and make a decision one way or the other regarding these tanks. (Water changes are easy because I have a water changing system so no heavy buckets or anything.) Good 'ole demand resistance has once again reared it's ugly head. So, I have instead, spent the entire day doing other little things: trimmed the dog's toenails, dusted off all the tv's in the house, did one small load of laundry, washed the dog's bowls, put away the dishes from the night before, watched some tv, played on the computer...in other words, once again, everything but what I had intended. And the worst part? I cannot make any darn decisions!!! I am so stuck in my mind that I am absolutely frozen!!! I seem unable to make even the smallest decision. I think about my choices and they go round and round in my head. After awhile I get tired of it or distracted or overwhelmed and I just keep things the way they are because it's easier that way. I can't even make up my mind about some darn doritos that my Dad brought over!! My Dad brought over two bags of ranch style doritos that nobody in the house likes. They are unopened. I could take them over to the neighbors and give them away, or I could take them back to the store and claim I bought the wrong ones, or I could throw them out!! Have I done any of these things? Noooooo.....there they sit in the laundry room (which is once again accumulating things)...... ((sigh)) I am so tired of this. What is wrong with me?? Sorry, needed to vent (we need a smilie that is bashing his head into the computer keyboard cause that's just how I feel right now)
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Sept 2, 2008 16:37:57 GMT -5
boy, do I relate! like there is something wrong with my brain.
demand resistance, huh?
do you know, with all the crap filling up my house, I have cleaned out the light fixture overhead? yes, ma'am, it gleams.
we are weird!
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Post by threeg on Sept 2, 2008 16:38:43 GMT -5
Hey heylady....we are on the same wavelength today. I accomplished very little also, and what I did was not the things that I needed to do since forever. I spent the day paralyzed with stress and indecision about who to get to tow and repair my car. (Which I bought a month ago or so.) To take my mind off of that, I played games online and waited for a call from the person I bought the car from! That call never came, BTW. So the car sits in the next town untill tomorrow when it will be towed to a garage to (hopefully,) be fixed! Then all I have to worry about is how I'll get the money to pay the mechanic. Thank God for friends and my son who helped as much as they could with rides to and from work, ect. I dusted a bit, made supper, and caught up with my Email and forums. What a waste today was..... 3g
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Post by mouse on Sept 2, 2008 16:48:31 GMT -5
heylady1, sounds like structured procrastination to me! You did other things, which is more than I would do: my favourite way of not doing things is either to hide with the computer or a bunch of DVDs, or else to leave the house altogether! How do you think I've managed to avoid unpacking for three whole days? Don't be too hard on yourself. As for the Doritos, do what's easiest. Give yourself permission to throw them out if that's the easiest route for you. If it'll make you feel better to give them to someone, then that's the way to go. Whatever gives you peace of mind and will take the path of least resistance. Can you get a friend to come over and be your "buddy" for the tanks? I find that having someone here (usually my mother) keeps me honest and on-track. ~Mouse
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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 2, 2008 16:53:21 GMT -5
Here ya go heylady!!!!! Hope it helps, but seriously, I know exactly what you mean, especially about things like the Doritos. At least you recognize the fact that you have a problem with this.....hang in there!!
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Post by DJ on Sept 2, 2008 20:11:40 GMT -5
hello my aquarium friend... i'm going to post a blab. excuse me.... a few weeks ago i wanted to get a few more plants for -1- aquarium...but if i was going to order plants for that tank i figured i should get the plants for all the tanks at once, shipping's expensive, right? so it started to look like i was going to redo the tanks.. but i needed a few things for them.. replacement parts, new lightbulbs.. ok so i needed to make a shopping list for that order... hmmm but i wanted to change some of the tanks and move some of them... and i'd better figure out what i'm actually going to do with a few that were pretty much empty.. so i can't order anything til i figure that out.. a month and a half later, and one episode of crying later.. i'm finally getting my tanks fixed and set up. that's for a hobby. a hobby with beloved fin pets. how in god's name a hobby, that scientific research would lead me to believe is beneficial for emotional and physical health could lead me to paralysis and tears is beyond me.
just saying i think maybe possibly a tiny bit i understand.. and i'm sorry you had a rough day..... if none of that made any sense please forgive me. but i hope tomorrow goes better...
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Post by pegasus48 on Sept 2, 2008 21:19:02 GMT -5
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spacemaker
New Member
Space (where I can see carpet), the final frontier
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 88
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Post by spacemaker on Sept 3, 2008 1:24:21 GMT -5
"I am one screwed up person" - based on my experience with your posts, I reject this unequivocally
Tanks - will be there tomorrow or the next day or the next
Doritos - the world WILL continue spinning, regardless the location of those two bags of Doritos
Sounds like you actually accomplished quite a bit. I would celebrate that and list all the wonderful things about heylady1, then rise to fight again tomorrow.
You are so much more than what you did or did not do today, I have witnessed that myself. Hope you are back in love with you, specialness and all, very soon!
XO, SpaceMaker
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Post by razy on Sept 3, 2008 2:59:05 GMT -5
...what are doritos?
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Post by roseoftexas on Sept 3, 2008 3:41:39 GMT -5
Ok, all you screwed up people (this includes me - you think you're screwed up? Look at me! I'm talking to myself!), but I digress... This is for you (and a pep talk for me, too)! Vent, vent, and vent some more! I can SO relate to your feelings!!! Not anyone's specific set of circumstances, of course, but let me tell you - you are NOT alone! First, some BIG WARM HUGS: Next, some big, bad, frustrated, angry, grumpy smilies just for you all: Now what I'm going to suggest next is going to sound very, very strange. So I'm going to tell you a story first. One day, a certain SOS member named Rose was working from home and having a very, very bad day. It was so bad that she was growing more and more anxious by the minute. So when it came time to take her paltry 10 minute break, she thought and thought (quickly - it was only a 10 minute break, remember) and tried to figure out how to help herself calm down. She realized she was very, very hot and decided maybe if she changed into some cooler clothes, this might help her calm down, a bit. So she ran to her closet and rummaged through her t-shirts and finally came across this one: i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg271/RoseOfTX/photographs/SOS/090308/05-17-08_1420.jpgShe hesitated for a moment, as she'd gained some weight since the last time she'd worn it and then decided, "What the heck? This is exactly how I feel right now!" So she put the shirt on and went back to work - on the phone. And anytime anybody said something or typed something to her that made her feel anxious or angry, she said to herself, "Through me, and into the shirt!" Yes folks. I made up my mind that day that I was going to let the anger and anxiety flow through my body and into that t-shirt. I even came up with a nickname for my t-shirt: "My Super-Duper Anxiety-Absorbing Stress-Reducing T-Shirt". So here is my suggestion: you're all sitting there in front of your computers reading this, right? How about letting your demand-resistance flow through you and into the smilies? DEMAND-RESISTANCE Through you and into the smilies... into the smilies... into the smilies... See what a little visualization can do? Now here's a bottle of aspirin because you're all gonna need it after all that head-banging: And if you guys don't see me around here for awhile after I post this, it's probably because my psych doctor who now knows that I post here and is watching me very carefully has read this and decided that it is definitely time to cart me off to the psych ward. Toodles...
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Post by Mystic Pegasus on Sept 3, 2008 4:46:01 GMT -5
Razy, Doritos are corn chips... what brand do you have in NZ? We do have Doritos here in Australia... and CC's. It's called a vicious circle... I do it often... like for months I've been wanting to sort and unpack boxes we packed in our last move, almost a year ago! I still don't have many unpacked (which means I have less general clutter about the place, tho that's growing ... but many, many boxes and bags in the shed, verandas and house) and haven't even found my saucepans yet (yep, naturally I bought 2 more and got a few from freecycle! ) or our vcr or dvd player. We moved really quickly so most of the boxes are unlabelled, so it's a discouraging task to start with. Ok... I want to sort them... but lots of the boxes are still in storage at my mum's and brother's (we couldn't move directly from one house to another, so had to store them at various relatives houses/sheds for 5 months- we collected the ones from the inlaws, but still have the ones stored at my side of the family) so my crazy brain says... you have to get all the boxes here before you can properly sort any! How senseless is that?! But I haven't been able to bring myself to do much sorting at all, even tho I need things from the boxes. It just feels wrong... I need those other boxes here. Now, for various reasons we can't get them at this stage (car with towbar for the trailer has broken down, can't get access to my dad's shed as he's been building a big shed and has building supplies stacked in front of it, my brother has hardly ever been home at times when we can get a car/trailer/driver (we don't drive), or it has been pouring with rain... it's been winter here.) And it would be far better to sort and declutter the boxes that are already here, so that there's actually room for more boxes to come! But no, there they sit, and here I sit... Also, we need to collect (once again in a trailer) the pavers we have stored at my inlaws, to make the floor for the small toolshed where some of the outdoorsy type stuff will go... tools, bikes, garden stuff etc. So, until we have them, and have the shed built, I feel like that's another reason I can't sort... because I'll find stuff that should go in that shed and it won't be there! Hmmm... maybe I could just allocate a temporary spot for those things??? Not likely, says my addled brain. Wait until everything is in place and ready and then go for it! I can see how well that has worked for decluttering so far... almost a year on and we've gotten basically nowhere. Demand resistance... perfectionism... loopy thought processes.... the curses that rule our lives and defeat our attempts to create calm and order!!!!!
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Post by heylady1 on Sept 3, 2008 7:51:08 GMT -5
My dear, dear friends....you cannot know how much your posts mean to me!!! It really does help to know that maybe I'm not as screwy as I thought or at least I'm not alone in this!! Well I did finally make a decision that has nothing to do with my original post. I emailed a friend at work and asked her if she wanted those big storage containers that I have no room for and she said yes!! I am also giving her a vhs movie that we bought the dvd for, so out that goes too!! I guess I should be happy about that but once again I've skirted the things I need to deal with!! Hey!! I just figured out that I'm going to put those doritos in there too and if she doesn't want them she can give them to someone at work!! HAH!! Djollydjolan yes, this is a hobby. Which is supposed to be fun and relaxing. I know I've spent plenty of time cursing and panicking when things have gone wrong. Like the time the UV sterilizer on my salt tank fell off it's brackets and procceded to shoot 60 gallons of saltwater all over the floor while I was at work. Got a panicked call from hubby on that one. Or the double hurricanes of 2004 when my 55 gallon reef tank died. Talk about a smell!!! But the disappointment was much more overwhelming. Filters and powerheads clog or stop working, oh and my nice expensive lighting unit over the salt tank is in it's death throes right now. Some hobby huh? Anyway, my issue is reducing the amount of tanks I have (7). Right now I can get rid of at least one big tank as my big goofy oscar recently died after eating a piece of gravel. (RIP Irwin) OR, I can combine two smaller tanks into that one and get rid of two tanks. If I did that, then I can switch fish around into different tanks which is something I really should do but man is that going to be a major project. OR, I could just buy another oscar to go in the big tank and forget the whole thing. Which is the easiest thing to do.......((sigh)) I think Mystic Pegasus summed it up pretty well Oh yeah.
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Post by heylady1 on Sept 3, 2008 11:06:03 GMT -5
I didn't have enough time before so..... Rose I have to say that I love your T-shirt!! I have one that shows a very frazzled cat and it says "Stressed Out!!" I wear that sometimes when I'm stressed out and if anybody asks it's "talk to the shirt!" Hey 3g, I am very sorry to hear about your car trouble!! You just bought that car too! Did you ever get ahold of the guy who sold you the car?? Well HopeHope I guess the best we can do with our weird thinking is to appreciate whatever we do manage to do. Sad isn't it? Mouse, yeah, don't mention the dvd's. I've managed to watch 3 movies in 2 days and have avoided even thinking about what I really should be doing! Hey Annie, man that hurt and it left a crack on my computer but in a strange way I do feel better, thanks!!! Thank you Spacemaker, for the laugh and the shot of confidence!! And for Pegasus48 and Mystic Pegasus, I think we all agree that we chase ourselves around in circles never getting anywhere because of that all or nothing mentality. How the heck do you get past it? How the heck do you make a decision without second guessing yourself?
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Post by eaglesflight on Sept 3, 2008 22:02:07 GMT -5
If I lived near you, I would come get those chips. Cool Ranch is my favorite.
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Post by heylady1 on Sept 4, 2008 3:31:05 GMT -5
If you lived near me Eaglesflight, I would give them to you!! Hubby and I don't eat doritos, chips either. And our son only likes the regular doritos sooo.... But I am taking them to my co-worker tomorrow!! I am going to meet her before she starts working and get rid of the stuff so that's good!! I would go woo-hoo about making a decision but it's only doritos for crap sake.
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