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Post by skatters on Sept 5, 2008 22:56:53 GMT -5
For some reason, I have a hard time creating/posting right now - lots of typing/deleting/re-typing going on. I can't seem to get my thoughts together. So bear with me. I am NOT going to allow myself to delete - so things might be a bit disjointed.
A week or so ago, I posted a craiglist ad, asking for a cleaning/decluttering partner to set up a bartering system. I help you with your house, you help with me mine. I stated things were gross and bad - that I didn't have goat paths, but I have before. NO judgments.
I got a reply from a man that was sort of creepy, but I just ignored him. One woman sent me an email asking a few basic questions, which I then answered. She sent me a reply letting me know she was very interested. I haven't replied for two days. (But it appears she is using her work email - so I have some time this weekend.)
And now.... I am trying to decide if I can go through with this. I need a partner. I want a partner. Heck, it may even be a way for me to make a new friend (which I don't have many of).
I am hesitant and scared. When I made the original Craiglist posting, I was very serious about finding a partner. I AM serious.
How do we meet? For coffee somewhere first? I am very anxious around strangers, let alone letting them see my mess.
Any encouragement would be appreciated. Also any ideas about how to meet and get a bit more comfortable would be greatly appreciated!!
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Post by paperpiler on Sept 5, 2008 23:14:21 GMT -5
Hi Skatters:
I think this is a terrific idea.
It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be hesitant. But what it's ALSO okay to be is really proud of yourself for coming up with this idea, AND acting on it. Remember, if you've found a woman who seems really interested, it's likely because she's in exactly the same spot as you...wanting to do something but scared and hesitant. So now you've both found a partner, and don't know what to do next.
I'd totally discard the guy (creepy or not), especially on craigslist (which I use a lot). And this guy? If he gave you a creepy feeling, listen to your gut.
Now...about the woman. I'd meet in a public place first. Coffee's good. Maybe call or write, and ask her what her top three goals are, or why she wrote (and that you're glad she wrote). Find out a little about her background (but only a little...you don't want to seem like you're prying). Share a little of yours. You're looking for common ground here. You're also trying to determine what you both might have in mind. After all, it's a big leap from "helping each other" to actually doing something and seeing progress. So what do you have in mind? What does she have in mind? How long might it take at each place? One room at a time, or we do alllllll of mine, then alllllll of yours?
There aren't any right or wrong answers. You're just looking for what you think might be helpful to you and helpful to her, and seeing if you can work together and develop a friendship on the way.
But in any case, stick with it and find that "comfort level." I have a feeling it'll be well worth it!
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Post by crazycatlady on Sept 6, 2008 19:58:49 GMT -5
Skatters, help is so good. I have a friend who lived in squalor. I went over one Saturday, with another friend. The three of us worked together for a few hours. We have not managed to get over there again, but she says that she has continued to make progress, and finally feels that she can win over squalor.
Please meet the lady. She is probably as afraid as you are. But if it works out, it is amazing how much better two or three people (with different strengths) can do, over one person.
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glorianna
New Member
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 42
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Post by glorianna on Sept 6, 2008 21:32:12 GMT -5
I would be just as scared as you are. If the other lady is legit, she will state her apprehension also. There just aren't too many out there who want a perfect stanger going through their things, kwim? I would meet somewhere else first, coffee or dinner, your treat, would be good. You might also want to bring another of your friends or family memeber to meet her or even a friend from church or work to get another perspective of what the lady is like. Good luck with this. I hope you have many happy cleaning days ahead of you.  |
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Post by brenda on Sept 6, 2008 22:43:53 GMT -5
Meet for coffee and see if you click. It sounds like a great idea to me.
Brenda
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Post by skatters on Sept 7, 2008 15:27:45 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies everyone! I am going to email her right now...
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Post by skatters on Sept 7, 2008 15:44:55 GMT -5
I did it! I sent her a reply! Yay me!
I told her the basics about me and my main goal for cleaning up.
I told her I would like to get to know her a bit better, and asked if she would be interested in meeting for coffee sometime.
I wish I would have edited the email a bit - it sounds a bit vague and disjointed. But I needed to type quickly and hit that SEND button. Besides, I am probably being a bit critical of myself.
But I am proud that I did it! Now the next step will have to happen when/if I get a response.... UGH!
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!
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Post by pegasus48 on Sept 7, 2008 18:41:21 GMT -5
Good for you skatters! It's hard to do something new. It is especially hard to meet someone new, and open up about squalor. Hope you and the lady hit it off.  |
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Post by heylady1 on Sept 8, 2008 10:46:10 GMT -5
Wow  what an amazing idea, and how wonderful that you may have found a new friend and cleaning partner!!!  I hope everything works out!!  |
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