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Post by Admin on May 28, 2008 12:24:47 GMT -5
What do you do (or plan to do) to fill the void (or free time) once you are squalor free? link from SS, of one of the threads discussing this topic. feel free to copy/paste YOUR OWN response to the old question here, and even update if it applies.  squalorsurvivors.com/community/forums/51603/ShowPost.aspx |
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Post by Admin on May 28, 2008 12:35:24 GMT -5
here is my old response, 5/9/08: This thread got posted on listzilla today, which just so happens to be the day I wandered over here, to try and fill the void I have in my life lately. This thread speaks VOLUMES to me. i can't get over the life-changing thoughts and feelings it triggers in me. i don't think i have ever felt so compeled, so awoken as this thread has made me. i have two days of the week, where i have NOTHING on the calendar, other than clean. i clean up to a point, and then stop. i never seem to break over that point. i feel bored. like i should be doing something that i am not. it really gives me something to think on. not sure where to really go from here though. if i am truly not doing upkeep of housework, to avoid the free time... where do i find something to fill that void? i always wanted to work in an orphanage as a young child. i would have suitcase after suitcase of dolls lined up, my own orphanage. since not many orphanages exist, at least near me, i transfered it to having my own kids. lately, with my feelings of boredom, (which with a slightly messy house and 4 kids, 7 and under, is amazing in and of itself) i keep thinking of foster parenting. but with my youngest only 15 months old... it seems a not wise choice to go down right now. i set up a goal, to have my house clutterfree, and my routines of housework so completely down in a year, that i can open my door and let someone come in to see if my house is qualified for doing foster care. but i am 90% there right now. and all this free time (naptime, which is about 3-4 hours every afternoon) is staring at me. i don't like it. it's scary. i don't know what the answer is, but i am very thankful for this thread, and being lead to it at the right time, so i can chew on this for awhile, pray over it, and i know i will come out ahead. thanks for letting me ramble. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- response from today, 5/28/08 the old thread had led me in such a way, to sort out my feelings, really examine my wants and desires, and come to a conclusion that i WAS ready to start the licencing process for fostering. since i had that revelation, i have been at such peace. and while it wasn't, and still isin't, an automatic cure for going above and beyond my stopping point, i do have days where i am so completely motivated, i tear right through my to do list. as long as i keep up on maintance, and have those break through days now and again, i am right where i need to be, and that feeling is so freeing, so positive, so uplifting. i have found my calling, and i truly believe without the outpouring of honest, insightful people i would not have come to the crossroad of a decision as soon as i did. for that i am extremely thankful.  |
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Post by sleepymom on May 28, 2008 14:59:23 GMT -5
Goodness Missy, with a toddler and soon-to-be foster infant, I don`t imagine you`d have much free time! If I were totally caught up with maintaining, I would still plan time to do deep cleaning, pulling things out of closets and cupboards from time to time. I also have some home improvements I want to work on. I can`t imagine that if EVERYTHING were done completely at this instant, that there wouldn`t still be houseworky things that need done, laundry and dishes at least need to be done most days to be caught up. But if you mean that everything was done and there was absolutely nothing (maybe by having a housekeeping staff  ), wow, I can think of so many things I enjoy doing. If you have kids, spend more time doing fun stuff with them. Mine have rarely played board games (no room on the table  ) or worked large puzzles, so that would be something we could do. Day trips would be less stressful without having to worry about the mess you`ve left behind. If you`re a single, child free person (or not), you could plan to have people over, if you enjoy that. Rediscover an old hobby, or start a new one. Read, play computer games, rent movies you`ve never seen, take a class.... Maybe I`m not getting this fear of free time, my problem is always a lack (or perceived lack) of time. I love playing computer games, I`m a voracious reader, I used to do cross-stitch, and I really would like to take some classes. My life feels so full of things I don`t want to be doing that I long for days to be longer so I can spend more time doing things that I do want. |
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Post by Script on May 28, 2008 19:17:26 GMT -5
I would like to reply with a slightly different emphasis: what was I going to do with all my free time when that I retired? Initially I thought I would:
*do more photography
*do more music
*travel
I have done all three in far greater amounts. But, unfortunately, I have also done the following:
*more work caring for my mother, especially when she was in hospital by the week
*more work caring for my health, especially my ongoing dental dramas
*more work on our various home-reno projects, all of which have had set-backs or unforseen complications
I did NOT imagine that I would also be doing the following positive things:
*being involved with SS and now SOS online communities
*taking far better care of my appearance
*doing more fitness-related activities.
These have given me so much pleasure and support and LIFE!
thanks to all here at SS/SOS for your friendship and encouragement
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moineau
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 57 
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Post by moineau on May 29, 2008 13:50:59 GMT -5
At the beginning when I first de-squalored I was absolutely lost. I did not know who I was! Now I have found me!
Having more free time and space has rekindled my passion for homely crafts. I also plan to start a small business.
I feel that I am living life now, not enduring it.
Moineau
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Post by reesa on May 29, 2008 22:52:24 GMT -5
I read more. I love reading and have a large book collection.
Actually I have less time now because I spend time cleaning. Before I just ignored the mess. More of my free time is spent maintaining my house instead of just sitting around being worried about it.
I've been filling the empty space...which there seems to be a lot of. By bringing in fresh flowers from the garden every other day or so, and by getting a few new books, and by moving around my house more. I spend time in every room now instead of just in one spot. It feels great to be able to move around in here.
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DG
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 86
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Post by DG on May 31, 2008 7:27:45 GMT -5
Once my house is sorted out I'm looking forward to having a home filled with visiting children like we used to when living with my ex-partner.
I'm also going to be able to work on making my jewellery and maintaining my webshop without feeling guilty about not clearing and cleaning.
DiamondGal.
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hollymaid
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 99
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Post by hollymaid on May 31, 2008 12:11:19 GMT -5
I want to have people over to my place. I am looking forward to reading a book on my swing in the yard.
spend more time at the lake, Knowing that when we get back we have clean clothes and etc. to start the week off.
Learn some new things.
walk the dog everyday.
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Post by ramatama on Jun 1, 2008 16:10:50 GMT -5
Aside from many of the things mentioned by others, like more time for crafts and reading, what i really hope for when the stashes of "what to do with this" are gone, is to join up with all those people trading their homes for the holidays. This is truly my dream. Of course that would only mean having to have our home ready for that one month a year, but i'd like it to be in that state most of the time! I'd like to spontaneously invite people over and not have to fret if it is going to be an overnight stay: having to move all the stashes around and inconveniencing ourselves so our guests can have room to move in the study/guest room. Since i keep our living room and kitchen pretty much OK (15 minutes away from guest-ready most days) i like to go in those rooms, spend time there and love the feeling of knowing how nice it is that everything is where it belongs and i can find whatever real fast. I MUST keep this feeling with me as i approach the other rooms.  |
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Post by messysue on Jun 2, 2008 19:31:09 GMT -5
I go to the gym 3 times a week.
I read.
I play on the PC.
I watch TV.
I crochet.
Etc. Etc.
It's rare that I'm bored.
Even though I'm out of squalor I still fight my messiness.
My best tool is my daily & weekly routines.
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Post by Meme on Jun 2, 2008 23:33:12 GMT -5
well- just sitting down on a chair with out having to move something first is nice
so sitting is one thing
puzzles also as I can now find them when I find time to sit
right now- taking care of papa david is taking a lot of extra time but well worth it
the last 3 months we have had over a 100 visits from his friends and family and I have not had to apolgise once :-)
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Post by joyinvirginia on Jun 8, 2008 20:39:01 GMT -5
I really enjoy sewing, cross stitch, embroidery, stuff like that. I want to make a quilt. I have lots of stuff to do it with, generally organized. I want to have less stuff so I can spend less time cleaning, sorting, and more time doing fun things. Who am I kidding - I do fun stuff all the time now, I just don't want to have any guilt about doing it and leaving that paper pile unsorted, stuff like that.
Joy in Virginia
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Post by eatingbonbons on Jun 9, 2008 19:14:38 GMT -5
I don't know that I would have more "free time," but definitely it would be more guilt-free time. And somehow I believe it will be time that has a sense of energy to it. I see myself taking the dogs out & about to play, going on photo expeditions, adding more volunteer hours, playing at the beach, and just being a "lady who lunches." As it is now, my squalor is tremendously oppressive and I find it difficult to go out in pursuit of joy when I'm dragging the contents of my house with me!
Also, I anticipate a greater sense of tranquility & calm which for me is conducive to art activities. I love to draw and find it very freeing for the brain and believe me, my brain could use a little emancipation. I enjoy designing scrapbook layouts and really need a clean, organized environment for that to happen.
And finally, let's not forget the bonbons!
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Post by threeg on Jun 17, 2008 14:09:29 GMT -5
???Free time? I forgot what that means......  If I had any free time now, I would be squalor free. (Or close to it.) As it stands, I may not be done till I retire! (Kitrin, we both work to hard...) 3g is me |
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Post by gifted on Aug 19, 2008 14:45:42 GMT -5
Life AFTER squalor? Can I really believe that there will ever be an AFTER?
My main desire is to be able to say to someone, "Would you like to come in, sit down, and have a cup of tea?"
I also think that having my squalor under control would mean that I am doing less thinking about options, and more acting on them. I would probably have more depth to my activities, and do less puttering and aimless, amorphous activities, such as video games.
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