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hey :)
Sept 9, 2008 23:17:44 GMT -5
Post by messiemandi on Sept 9, 2008 23:17:44 GMT -5
I'm not very good at posting on boards, let alone introducing myself, but I'll do the best I can. My name is Mandi, I'm 32 years old, and I have always been a messy. I discovered the squalor survivors site quite by accident about six months ago, somebody had posted a link on another board and out of curiosity, I followed it. What I saw there-read there, made me cry out of sheer relief. You see when I was a kid, I was the untidy one, and my sister the neatnik, in all honesty, my room wasn't dirty, but I always had this compulsion to keep everything, except my stepfather used to come in and randomly throw things out and yell at me for being such a slob. Of course, when I moved on my own, I was overjoyed, nobody could come in and touch my stuff. It all went downhill from there. From the time I was 16, I've had to keep people from visiting my place, because I was too ashamed to ask for help. Oh sure, I got everything from the cliched "I'm not here to see your house, just you." to sheer anger cause I had the audacity to tell people they couldn't come over. But I had seen those news stories on tv, where people got exposed and humiliated for being hoarders. It got to a point about 3 years ago, where my landlady left a not under my door saying that she had received complaints from people because they couldn't walk past my door without gagging from the smell. My trash was about a foot up on the wall, my poor cats had nowhere to pee, and I was sleeping in the spare room on a bare mattress, because my own room was unlivable. I did an emergency clean, and handed the landlady some line about a trash bag being accidentally left by the door, which I'm sure she never believed, and I must say that my house has never smelled that bad since. But it didn't stop my hoarding ways, and more and more every day, I felt more isolated, because who would let themselves get to such a state? nobody but me, and every time I looked at the mess I would just get overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of it and give up. As I stated before, when I found the site, I started crying, I WAS NO LONGER ALONE. I wasn't, and am not, the only person on earth that's scared to throw away ten-year old jeans, and finally there was a group of people that understood from experience what the hoarding and trashing paranoia comes from. Since then, I've been lurking, and reading stories, and working on my decluttering, have yet to come to the maintenace bit, but thanks to you guys, I know that'll come at my own pace, and that's OK as long as I keep moving forward. So, a huge thank you from me to you, you will forever have my gratitude, for having the courage to be here first, and I hope to post a lot more. Mandi.
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hey :)
Sept 9, 2008 23:35:51 GMT -5
Post by Vivre on Sept 9, 2008 23:35:51 GMT -5
WELCOME AND A BIG HUG MANDI!!!!!!!! You have come to the right place for support, encouragement and friends who really do understand. Whether we are there where you are now, have been there but no loger are, or are afraind of sliding back, well, each has something to offer Looking forward to getting to know you :0)
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hey :)
Sept 10, 2008 6:48:54 GMT -5
Post by tiredofthis on Sept 10, 2008 6:48:54 GMT -5
, But I had seen those news stories on tv, where people got exposed and humiliated for being hoarders. This just happened last night on my local news channel. I always get a sick, fearful feeling in the pit of my stomach when this happens. How is this news-worthy? Why do people get such joy exposing filthy conditions? No help is offered, just judgment. No wonder we hide.
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hey :)
Sept 10, 2008 9:31:41 GMT -5
Post by heylady1 on Sept 10, 2008 9:31:41 GMT -5
Welcome Mandi!!! I'm glad you're here too! You've already done the hardest part and that's admitting that you have a problem and posting about it!! And you've already started on decluttering? Good for you Mandi!!!
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hey :)
Sept 10, 2008 12:12:30 GMT -5
Post by pegasus48 on Sept 10, 2008 12:12:30 GMT -5
Nice to meet you Mandi. You are in the right place. Everyone here understands about fighting squalor.
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hey :)
Sept 10, 2008 21:28:59 GMT -5
Post by crazycatlady on Sept 10, 2008 21:28:59 GMT -5
Welcome, MessieMandi! I'm so glad that you found Squalor Survivors, and Stepping out of Squalor. Like you said, just knowing that you are not alone is a huge help. As is being able to ask those questions that you just can't ask your real life friends.
I am impressed at your progress. Great job in getting rid of the stinky that was surrounding your door. Keep pushing against the mess, and keep posting. We will support you!
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