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Post by phoebepj on Nov 10, 2011 8:33:47 GMT -5
Right now my anxiety level is raised because the landlord is in the building a lot since my neighbor died. But my squalor is miniscule compared to the squalor he is shoveling out of my neighbors apartment. (I have taken pix of my neighbors apartment and will share them when the renovation is complete.) Even though the focus is on my neighbors apartment, I can't help but wonder if he will want to inspect all other apartments in my building and in this complex.
My anxiety is heightened because I have two cats. I never signed a lease on this place so there is no rule in place that says I cannot have animals, but with the neighbors passing, and the landlord in and out of his apartment, I can't help but worry my cats will draw his attention in some way.
I am currently working on cleaning the apartment up, so that if the landlord does want to inspect, he has nothing to gripe about. I've been a good tenant for over 7 years now, always paying my rent, and never really calling them for any major problems. My philosophy is, pick and choose your battles. My mother on the other hand would be a pain in their butts because she tends to nitpick on everything. I don't like to make waves or draw attention to myself, because that invites trouble and creates more problems than necessary. I always have high stress and anxiety when my mother comes because she always seems to be wanting the landlord to come and take care of xyz, when I'd rather let it be and not worry about it. The last incident was the leaky roof and the critters in the attic. The LAST thing I wanted was people traipsing through my apartment to obtain attic access especially when I already have high anxiety about letting people in to my place in the first place. I WANT to be able to host a movie night, but I always worry that someone will judge my place. I can't seem to get over that worry. The kids I babysit and the little neighbor boy want to come visit my cats, but I can't let them in because my place is a wreck and I'm embarrassed.
Anyone else with this problem?
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Post by flymomrn on Nov 10, 2011 9:24:42 GMT -5
I had problems last year with a landlady who lived across the street and was always coming over and complaining about every little things. I kept the place at a high 1 all the time and would clean the place spotless before one of her scheduled inspections or visits, and she still complained. She drove me crazy, and we ended up moving out, but I did develop some good habits because of her constant observation. I should thank her for that, and if she hadn't been such a pain, we would not have made an issue about the peeling paint and my toddler would have had lead poisoning. Good luck.
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Post by PaperGrace on Nov 10, 2011 9:35:08 GMT -5
My property manager and landlord were both in recently and my property manager not so gently reminded the landlord that this was NOT a housekeeping inspection more than once. I still have his fingerprint in the dust on the stove hood. Anxiety! Sadly we had done a lot of improving in 48 hours notice we had of their visit. Eeek. We've had a leaky roof for a year that they haven't managed to fix, but somehow my dust is an emergency? There's a gaping hole in the ceiling of Brother's room, with insulation missing in the cold season (WE pay for heat)... but our bikes in the hallway were giving him fits... he's got some opposite problem to ours I think. He pretty much wants it to look like no one lives in this building. Even had our neighbor take down her holiday decorations from the windows!
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Post by angelpuss on Nov 10, 2011 16:47:37 GMT -5
" But my squalor is miniscule compared to the squalor he is shoveling out of my neighbors apartment. (I have taken pix of my neighbors apartment and will share them when the renovation is complete.) "
Please think about this - would you like someone posting pictures of your home without your permission! Is this the home of the neighbour who passed away? I find this very distressing. Please reconsider. Respectfully, Angelpuss.
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Post by def6 on Nov 10, 2011 17:20:35 GMT -5
Hello Pheobe, I think you are right to expect more strict regulations from your landlord, after all, look at the time and money he has spent cleaning up the neighbor's apartment (may he rest in peace.) I also think you are doing the absolute right thing by getting things cleaned up- Before your landlord knocks at your door. Also be prepared to have to sign a lease and deal with a pet clause.
Who knows ...you've been renting there so long (problem free) that this may not be an issue. But , if you go ahead and take precautions , you won't have to worry about repair people, the exterminator or when Mom comes and she wants them to provide good customer service. You could also host movie night and have the children over as well. Keep going with this!
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Post by def6 on Nov 10, 2011 17:23:16 GMT -5
PS...I also don't like for people to see my place...even if it's clean. But I still have people over... so I can get over it!
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Post by puppybox on Nov 10, 2011 18:37:25 GMT -5
To get over the worry, FIRST you have to let people in. You can't wait to get over the worry and THEN let people in. it Just doesn't work like that. that's like waiting until your are good at the piano and THEN touching the keys.
I was exactly like you. now I let people in all the time, wheeeee! i had to let people in when there was huge horrible squalor like knee high.
I would bet landlords prefer someone in between you and your mother. Your mother is too high maintenance it seems, but if you don't report attic critters they could cause serious damage. I think you may well see him set stricter rules, or harsh letters threatening punishments, but that's becuase he's in the agony of cleaning up a hoard. he's stressed. you're cats haven't been bothering anyone, for years and if your home doesn't smell terribly like cat he can't do anything. as you said, it was never spelled out yes or no. if your home does smell terribly like cat then buy some "nature's micracle" and work on it.
Practice with your movie night intended people. you WILL see that while your heart might beat REALLY fast and your chest or throat might feel tight, this passes. I think its best to warn everyone ahead of time that it's REALLY REALLY MESSY. so they'll come in and be like "oh, this isn't so bad, you should see my sister" etc. If you instead tell them "i cleaned for 5 hours becuase you were coming" then they will think "wow, and it's not that clean, what on earth was she doing?". lower their expectations and they will complement your place.
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Post by phoebepj on Nov 10, 2011 21:20:16 GMT -5
thanks all...
Angelpuss - I was neighbors with him for over 7 years and had offered several times to help him if he wanted it. I also plan on going in and getting a few things that were his (that the family doesnt want) - he had several model airplanes - he would want someone who cares about him to have it. As far as the hoard pix, i am torn at posting pix because of the respect issue, but it would only be here - and for folks who really want to see. I would not just randomly post hoard pictures insensitively and right now i will not post because they are still unearthing alot of things. I assure you, the pictures i would post, will not be to degrade him.... but to celebrate his life, his collections... even though they may be dusty on the outside, they will be tasteful... for example the picture of the peppermint tins he had, or of the collection of games, that at one point were organized... or the things on the walls that he cared about. I do have pictures of the hoard, but only for me to see the progress... i want to remember him for him.... he was a very sweet elderly man who was like a grandfather to me and i loved him just the same.. hoard or no hoard.
Puppy box, i plan on doing that, once everything is at least where i'm not going to be embarrassed to have anyone in,.. and by that, i mean, sink cleaned out, trash off the floor and taken care of, the bathroom cleaned and catbox clean. As far as my bedroom and other places, people dont need to see those, so it doesnt matter what it looks like. As far as critters.. yes i will report them, but i need to be comfortable with people coming over. My landlord seems to be a good reasonable guy and i know his wife because i worked with her at the schools (she works in the SPED room and i subbed with her for 3 weeks)
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Post by manchengo1979 on Nov 10, 2011 23:31:44 GMT -5
I am going through the same thing right now. Only a pipe burst and my landlord saw my mess and now I'm sure is going to be over all the time now. Grrr. I freaked when he knocked on the door thought I was going to vomit and faint all at once my heart pounded and I was scrambling around the best I could to clean up. I'm hoping remembering that feeling will be enough to keep it as clean as it is now after 48 hours of continuos cleaning no sleep and finally a clean place. I was amazed at all the garbage bags it took to clean my little 600 sq foot apartment. My roof has been leaking for a year. I staple gunned trash bags to the ceiling to aviod aanyone coming in. Trust me your better off doing it on your own accord than the stress and expense I just underwent.
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Post by flymomrn on Nov 11, 2011 8:00:38 GMT -5
Phoebe, Please think carefully about acquiring any items from your neighbor's hoard. I don't know your situation, but so many of us have problems with acquiring "treasures" from others and then we can not get rid of them. Perhaps the photos of him and his hoard in a small album would be a good momento...a way to remember him and also to help keep you on the path to getting out of squalor.
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Post by phoebepj on Nov 11, 2011 8:52:16 GMT -5
Currently, I have a few board games that were his (i had no board games so i picked only a few that i knew would get used when i have company - monopoly, cribbage, bingo, chess/checkers/backgammon.) I also have a framed picture he made me hanging in my bathroom (its of a cat looking for the litterbox - a fresh step ad but its something HE thought to make for me) and i have a single small model airplane that he gave me. I only want to add 2-3 more similar small models to put on my dresser (again will pick and choose carefully). He also had drinking glasses still in the box, that i could use since i only have 2 drinking glasses and none for company, it would help... but i probably WONT get that because its not a necessity.
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Post by phoebepj on Nov 11, 2011 9:29:11 GMT -5
Oh and currently my squalor level is a very low level 1 to mid level 1 in all areas with the exception of the bathroom which seems to be the worst room in the apartment.
My guest bedroom is a zero.
My bedroom is a half but can be easily picked up in 10 minutes.
The livingroom and kitchen is where the biggest mess is.
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Post by oliveoilmom on Nov 12, 2011 4:18:04 GMT -5
I have been there before. We were renting a little house from a realty management company. The company had water pipe burst, so they closed the office, and it was the day rent was due. This company didn't let you mail a check, they had you come to the office and pay in cash. Rather than wait a day or two, the agent went to the houses to collect. He knocked, I didn't answer. My son was at day care, so I was assured that I could manage to keep the illusion that no one was home, because there was no noise, and of course the curtains were closed. It was a mess. I was in one of my down phases. Garbage, dishes, clothes, toys, junk, tools, everything. All over. Everywhere. I was in my nightgown, hadn't bathed in a few days, dirty bare feet.
Before I go any further I want to tell you about the heating system in this house. The house had a floor furnace, which of course was on. For those who don't know, a floor furnace is an old fashioned heating system, which consists of a gas furnace under the house and a hole in the floor covered by a big cast iron grate that gets almost lava hot. In the middle of the floor. Not the safest thing to have. This one was in a central location in the hallway off the livingroom between the bedrooms and bathroom.
Back to the story. I was in the livingroom, but was afraid he might see me through the thick curtain on the door, so in my best Ninja mode I slowly stood up and started backing toward my bathroom on tiptoe. Slowly.
You know what happened. I stepped very slowly and deliberately, putting all my weight down, on the furnace grate. The lava hot cast iron grate. That shattered any illusion that nobody was home right then! I jumped up and was hopping to the door, planning to open it a crack, tell him I had the flu and could he come back when my husband was home. Nope. He was a Good Sameritan. He had a key too! He heard me scream and came in. He asked if I was ok, I said I was, I had stepped on the furnace coming to get the door because I was in bed with the flu. He looked around. I told him I had been there all week and my husband can't clean. He just nodded and said "Mmmmm hmmmm" He told me he would be back the day after next, and he hoped I felt better and that I was able to get someone to help clean up, because he thought it might be time for an inspection.
We kicked it into high gear when my husband got home and got it done. How, I don't know, but back then I was able to snap out of it faster than I am now. The landlord bought the flu story when he came back to inspect and collect.
But that was pretty scary. For quite a while after that, even in bad times, I'd just kick all the mess from the front room into the rest. Sometimes I'd pick it up, sometimes I would just sweep or literally kick it out of sight and that was my cleaning for the day. That way I could open the door and give a flu or cold or cramps or something story to whoever was there. I don't even do that anymore.
I would think, in your situation, that as long as you aren't damaging the property, there isn't much they should be able to do. As long as nothing is getting ruined, it shouldn't be their business.
Frances
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:13:40 GMT -5
Not all the landlords are busybodies. My friend is a landlord who has several hoarder tenants and he doesn't bother them at all as long as the rent gets paid. He says live and let live.
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Post by phoebepj on Nov 14, 2011 8:28:13 GMT -5
I really dont think i have anything to worry about, but with his apartment being in my building, at least its not on my side of the building... i was living across from him , upstairs. I just happened to check inside his apartment and saw water damage on the ceiling, which leads me to wonder if the landlord might just want to make a cursory check of all appliances/plumbing, etc... but right now i think we are a long way off from having anything done just yet. I hope to have the apartment mostly if not all clean on the week of thanksgiving. I have a break from work then, so i should be able to buckle down and really really just push it out so all i have to do is simply get rid of garbage bags.
The bathroom is going to be a huge project with the cat box and such, i let it get away from me and they have been going on the bathroom floor, but at least the floor is tile and all i have to do is bleach the tile really good a couple times and it comes right up and gets clean. But, i still have to dig it out. I think i'm going to use a trash can for it and simply scoop it in, then ditch the trash can in my trash bin. I can always buy another trash can at the dollar store or somewhere cheap.... besides i need a new kitchen trash bin, the bottom is all gooky and i am to l.zy to clean it.
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