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Post by Di on May 7, 2012 8:46:33 GMT -5
It took me a long time to realize that most of my stuff was just old stuff with little or no value. Once I passed that hurdle. I could purge. I don't think many people make much headway until they get to that point. That is why I think that education would really help hoarders.
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Post by eagle on May 7, 2012 9:35:24 GMT -5
Di, it would be a nice addition to the hoarding shows, I think.
For me, though, it was never about 'this will be worth a lot of money some day' or even 'I paid SO much for this'. For me it was more about 'I just can't face this right now'. Even things I know I paid huge amounts of money for in the past, I also knew I had no intention of selling. That was never my intention, never my thought, never my self-deception.
My self-deception was that I could get it all cleaned up and organized someday, if I 'just put my mind to it.' So much easier said than done!
But yes, adding an appraisal component to the Hoarding shows might be useful, if not entertaining. Di, perhaps you can pitch the idea to one of the networks or producers. They might go for it. Who knows, maybe you might implement a change in television programming. After all these kinds of ideas have to come from somewhere.
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Post by kiddledo on May 7, 2012 9:54:09 GMT -5
If any of you are reality show junkie like me, two types of shows have gave me an aha moment and has changed my thinking on the value of my stuff
Pawn Stars! stuff is only as valuable as what people will pay for it. Period. Resellers take the chance it will sell for more so they pay lower to make it profitable. They have to cover there overhead. So..sometimes pennies on the dollar is the going rate.
Storage Wars! People loose their storage and it goes up for auction. The stuff owners get NOTHING for their stuff. Sometimes the successful bidders get something wonderful and expensive, but mostly I see them pay money to get other people's stuff.
So, even if it is good and I paid dear for it...it goes to the thrift shop...
as for the hoarding shows...I think there have been several threads on this board about how thrift stores can't take items that they have to clean or mend..
When I watch the hoarding shows, I have a twinge as they throw good things away but as the show progresses, I have the feeling of great relief as the tons of stuff are gone. Go figure
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Post by dayeanu on May 7, 2012 12:03:31 GMT -5
This is a very interesting topic! (And after writing two pages about it - I see that it is a real hot button for me!) As far as having appraisers come in and evaluate a hoarder's items, I think for the most part, it would do no good. I think there is a tendency to believe that this item that is EXACTLY like the one that my grandmother cherished, that I bought at a second-hand store for a few dollars, and that I have kept and moved with me from home to home for 25 years - it HAS TO BE WORTH SOMETHING! I know that the hoarders on the shows are often more extreme that us (or not), but I have seen cases where people were told their things were not valuable, and I, as a viewer, could see that there was no great value there, but in the hoarder's mind, it was a treasure, and they didn't believe the "experts." I once saw a woman who hoarded food. She had canned foods that were maybe 30 years old. She insisted they were still good, and would not even allow the case worker to eat a can of it, because she was saving it. So I'm not sure having an appraiser would make much difference. My mother is hoarder, even though her house is always immaculate and orderly (and I know that defies the definition, but she really is.) In her mind, EVERYTHING she has - furniture, china, jewelry, etc., is of the greatest value, and she will not part with a single one of her beloved things. She also tends to feel the need to "rescue" valuables from those of us who are "unworthy" of properly appreciating the things we have - if she sees something a family member has that she considers of value, she will take it - because it is "valuable," and the person won't know how to properly appreciate or care for it. If we open presents at her house - birthday or Christmas - and she sees something she considers of value - she will sneak it away and hide it before we can take it home. That's a hoarder! Now, she DOES have some things of real undisputed museum-quality value. And everything she has IS very nice - even so, she over-rates most of it. In her mind, most everything she has is special, unique, and irreplaceable. For a while there, for my own psychological problems which I won't go into here, I made a habit of searching out her "valuables" on eBay, and buying duplicates.  It was really pretty educational. She does have some items that will likely never appear there, but for the most part, eventually, most everything in her home has turned up on eBay at least once. From that little experiment, I learned that : 1.) NOTHING is irreplaceable. ANYTHING can eventually be found on eBay. Or somewhere, if you are patient and persistent. 2.) No matter what the appraised value of an item, it is only worth as much as someone is willing to pay for it on any given day. I have china that is appraised at a ridiculous price per piece - but the best price I can elicit from a buyer - is really all it's worth. 3.) The ONLY real value of most things is if they are beautiful, useful, enjoyable or meaningful TO YOU, RIGHT NOW. 4.) No matter how beautiful or special something is to you, if you look long enough, you will find something you like better. There's never an end to it. At some point, you have to just say, "This is good enough. I choose to be satisfied with THIS ONE." 5.) FUNCTION IS REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS. Having things that are beautiful to you, that express exactly who you are, that make just the right "statement" about you - that's all over-rated. If your dishes hold your food, if you clothes keep you warm, cool, comfortable, if your shoes protect your feet, if your chair and bed are comfortable, and your cook stove serves your purposes - all the other stuff doesn't matter. Having just the right one that suits your taste is a trap. 6.) NOTHING is forever. Stuff comes and goes, is created and destroyed, passes on from us to - eventually - strangers. Every antique store is full of things that were probably once cherished by someone. It's the natural order of "things." 7.) Things should be kept only as long as they are useful or meaningful to YOU. When they cease to be, pass them along to someone else who can use them. (Battered women's shelters are full of women and children who need what you have.) 8.) And most importantly, I learned that you can't change someone else's opinion of you by owning stuff just as nice as theirs. Nor will owning identical stuff teach them a lesson, and it is not even good revenge, because if you don't love it, it's just clutter, and you probably can't even get your money back out of it. |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on May 7, 2012 12:52:05 GMT -5
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Post by moonglow on May 7, 2012 13:29:48 GMT -5
My mother is hoarder, even though her house is always immaculate and orderly (and I know that defies the definition, but she really is.) I don't want to hijack the thread, but I would like to point out that squalor and hoarding are not the same thing. Someone can live in squalor (which I think of as disorganized, dirty, and cluttered) and not be a hoarder. And someone can be a hoarder and still have an immaculate house. (I call them "organized hoarders"). My mother, too was a hoarder, although you would not have known it by walking into her house. She had a 3 bedroom house with a full basement and all three bedroom closets were full of -her- clothing; one of them was a walk in closet. Two bedrooms had underbed storage -full-. She had an incredible amount of shoes and purses and costume jewelry, all organized and all well taken care of, but an extremely excessive amount for one person. Perfume, makeup, hair brushes combs and accessories. Dishes, knick-knacks. And so on. I never saw her sell, donate or throw away stuff, or ever express that she had too much of it. Point is, she was still a hoarder even though she had not progressed to goat trails or squalor. Again, don't mean to hijack the thread, but just wanted to point out that sometimes we don't recognize hoarders who have enough money and/or space and the ability to stay organized. |
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Post by Chris on May 7, 2012 16:00:22 GMT -5
I don't have any stuff that can't be easily replaced. (now that photos are digital) I've been realizing that more and more as I mentally prepare for moving in the future. I realize that the move cross country is going to be much nicer with very little stuff. The plan will be to arrange the finances so that I can a new bed and table things like that -- not worry about transporting anything big.
I watch that show Storage Wars where the people bid on the storage units and then dig thru them trying to find something valuable to sell. It's crazy. To me it's entertainment -- I mean every once in awhile they find something really valuable but most of what is in them they dump or sell in a second hand store - furniture and stuff.
I used to be much more attached to my stuff and I had a lot of distortions in what I thought stuff was worth until the year I was unemployed and we needed money and I started selling things -- that cured most of my distortions real fast. True I got money for things especially practical things like the freezer and some furniture but a fraction of the $ we paid.
Interesting topic!!!!!
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Post by dayeanu on May 7, 2012 16:14:06 GMT -5
I don't have any stuff that can't be easily replaced. (now that photos are digital) I've been realizing that more and more as I mentally prepare for moving in the future. I realize that the move cross country is going to be much nicer with very little stuff. The plan will be to arrange the finances so that I can a new bed and table things like that -- not worry about transporting anything big. I watch that show Storage Wars where the people bid on the storage units and then dig thru them trying to find something valuable to sell. It's crazy. To me it's entertainment -- I mean every once in awhile they find something really valuable but most of what is in them they dump or sell in a second hand store - furniture and stuff. I used to be much more attached to my stuff and I had a lot of distortions in what I thought stuff was worth until the year I was unemployed and we needed money and I started selling things -- that cured most of my distortions real fast. True I got money for things especially practical things like the freezer and some furniture but a fraction of the $ we paid. Interesting topic!!!!! Very good points, Chris. The only things I have found that genuinely can be sold for a profit are precious metals. IF you didn't pay retail store prices for them in the first place. Or if you've had them for a very long time. I bought a lot of sterling silver (goblets, etc) several years ago @ $5 an ounce. Now it's $30 an ounce (sold for scrap), and went as high as $50/ounce some months back. But it's only profitable because I bought it at scrap prices. |
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Post by Sunshine on May 7, 2012 16:27:45 GMT -5
And really, any item selling for LESS than $100. is JUST NOT WORTH THE TIME. Thank you Script!! I really needed to hear that. I have been feeling like I should keep some things and sell them... but you reminded me what a huge pain in the neck it is! |
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Post by puppybox on May 7, 2012 17:01:11 GMT -5
Besides the time spent on trying to sell things, one MAJOR concept I learned from this website was that the space in your home is VALUABLE REAL ESTATE.
If you have a pile of old toys you plan to sell on eBAY (but it'll take you 5 years to get around to it) you are NOT using that space for the sewing machine you'd like to set up and use.
If you have a crazy bunch of stuff in your spare room you can't let anyone come visit.
etc.
Is your stuff paying it's worth in rent? what are you NOt doing with the space the valuable things are taking up? fun hobbies, beautiful displays you could set up, other people who could be there etc
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on May 7, 2012 17:28:04 GMT -5
Besides the time spent on trying to sell things, one MAJOR concept I learned from this website was that the space in your home is VALUABLE REAL ESTATE.
If you have a pile of old toys you plan to sell on eBAY (but it'll take you 5 years to get around to it) you are NOT using that space for the sewing machine you'd like to set up and use.
If you have a crazy bunch of stuff in your spare room you can't let anyone come visit.
etc.
Is your stuff paying it's worth in rent? what are you NOt doing with the space the valuable things are taking up? fun hobbies, beautiful displays you could set up, other people who could be there etc Excess stuff is like ... a bad roommate who is using up resources in the home -- but won't pay his/her share of the rent. - |
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Post by Arid on May 7, 2012 18:36:41 GMT -5
Another point: Here in the USA, at least, nearly all of us are taking "a hit" from our present economy. (In fact, we've been "taking this hit" for at least the past FOUR or more years!!) It doesn't seem to be getting very much better very quickly.
That being the case, things that did, in fact, have some appreciable value several years ago will bring one much less money now. Most of us haven't "readjusted" our brains to accept that fact!
Try watching the PBS series "The Antiques Roadshow." You will hear the appraisers say, again and again, "this was worth $xxxx ten years ago, but it's worth only $xx in today's market." Granted, occasionally, an item will have appreciated in value, but more often than not, things have lost value.
I loved the remark about distinquishing between "sentiment" and "sediment!" I have a whole LOT of "sentiment" that has resulted in a whole LOT of "sediment." I **still** struggle with myself about throwing any of it away . . . (I **AM** getting better at it, though!)
Arid
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Post by andrea on May 7, 2012 22:36:16 GMT -5
I was just going thru this thread and realized a few things about myself that I haven't let myself look at. I live at my parents house with my 2 boys and have our 3 major rooms in some sembelance of order but know I still have way too much. My problem is not that I think my things are valuable or I could get quite a bit for them at this point since I know I can't. Where I have a problem is keeping items for my boys since they both have multiple disabilities and I never am sure what they may need. I have been trying to get rid of certain items but am now down to the hard areas and am having trouble getting rid of things and not just move them around.
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Post by hiding on Jul 6, 2012 15:57:25 GMT -5
I have no illusions about my stuff being worth any money or being valuable else wise to anyone but me. That's the problem. It's valuable to me.
Why is that?
Whoa! An insight just slapped me up the side of the head. When I was a kid, I had a nasty, mean, violent step dad who was always accusing me of things that I didn't do. He ignored the obvious truth and went with his notion. One of the ways he would punish me was to take away my shoes, a favorite dress, or a favorite book/toy/trinket. This might not be the whole answer but it goes a long way in explaining why I hang onto my things with both hands. Wow, I never saw that before. Thanks folks, for helping me uncover what was buried.
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Post by lil on Jul 13, 2012 18:39:12 GMT -5
I know I have very little that holds value. The things I have spent the most on my car and my truck are worth 25% of what I paid for them, The silver coins I bought hold their value and have increased in value. The other biggest thing we spent money on a flat screen tv that I remember costing $3k but my dh remembers paying $1,800 doesn't work and hasn't for 3 years. It worked exactly 3 years becfore it broke  Other than that the computer and lab top cost a pretty penny and we have a $200 flatscreen 32 inch tv. Other than those everything we bought was $40 or less. We need to fix the central a/c, i want new cabinets and to just get rid of the dishwasher. It won't drain the water becomes stagnant and moldy and will stink out the house so I do all dishes by hand. I have trouble getting rid of the kids clothes. I want to stick with if it has a stain in the trash it goes BUT how can you throw out your kids favorite clothes especially when it's pretty new like my daughter's tinkerbell shirt. Less than 3 months old but she got nail polish on it and it's her favorite shirt and she has asked me not to get rid of it. My youngest daughter only has several outfits she prefers to wear and they are now faded. We you look at how much it will cost to replace things and you don't want to get in debt you are at a rock and a hard place. It's hard to throw away the kids toys knowing how much I paid $20 here, $8 there. I try to only throw away the broken toys for the moment but they refuse to allow me to store other toys in the gargage where the toy box is. As the have a storage box and book shelf for the toys they play with the most. Plus I have have some of my dad's things like 2 of his chairs and his bike. I just sent his mail he had sent to my house return to sender as me and him are no longer on speaking terms. |
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