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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 25, 2008 15:58:53 GMT -5
Well, after the success of cleaning the bathroom and my younger son's bedroom back in August.....and actually keeping them clean....the glow is starting to dim and I have been stuck on where to start next. Maintenance keeps me busy, but I've got way more that I need to do. Here are my options/thoughts.... I really need to get the living room in order. We spend the most time there and it is really bad. (See pics in Photos! section.) Off of the living room is an extra room that is full of old toys, boxes of pictures, old VHS tapes, etc. (Also see pics in Photos! section.) If I clean the extra room first, then I will have a place to put things that I need to get out of the living room, but it means it will be that much longer to get the living room done. I am going to try to make my boys help me while they are home this weekend, but it is really hard for them to throw away anything (guess who they inherited that from??  ) and it is honestly easier doing it alone. I think I just answered my own questions. This is why I don't get things done. I stew over them and try to figure out how best to do them.....instead of just doing the *** things!!! GRRRRR!!!!! I don't understand why I am like this. I am stubborn too and act like a little kid....."You can't make me!"...I know "demand resistance" and all, but I just don't understand it!! I also need to give my older son the gift of a cleaner room. His room is messy (no pics got posted of that), but it isn't nearly as bad as his brother's was. I feel like I owe him a re-do now though. So that is where I stand.....won't even mention the laundry room....or the stacks in my kitchen.......I will get to those eventually. I really had hoped to be done by now, but I guess I need to be realistic and remember that it took a long time for it to get this bad and it will take a while to get it back in order. Thanks for reading. |
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Post by DJ on Sept 25, 2008 16:11:21 GMT -5
i'm just answering to say howdy and what i'd do though it's just me without some super well thought out back up of it.. but if younger son's learning to maintain in his newly cleaned out room and how much more enjoyable it is.. maybe do it for older son next.. it would let them both learn about maintenance for themselves... how/why.. kinda important things... so they could learn to help out more around the home in general with it<in age appropriate ways> i also think it's important for people to have sanctuary.. someplace sane and calm.. to collect themselves and feel ok and not overwhelmed.. btw, you probably deserve that as well with your own bedroom...
and if there's squalor.. it's quite likely that everyone has stuff all over the house.. so if bedrooms are in order once you get to main living areas then they might be able to help out more... "put these books with your other books, put these clothes with your other clothes....
to play's advocate cleaning up the livingroom might have a huge emotional impact too and alleviate worries about people coming over, allow more family time, and all sorts of other benefits.. but really the big thing is probably picking one your confident with and doing it and learning to maintain it.. because once you do that the next room will still be waiting;)
but you're doing it. and it's uplifting to see... so thank you for sharing...
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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 25, 2008 16:22:35 GMT -5
Thanks for your input djdj!! Your words make a lot of sense, and I think working on my older son's room might be the best "next" place to work. Then maybe the "extra room", then the living room.....I just need to stay motivated and get it all done at the same time!!
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Post by ghettofabulous on Sept 25, 2008 16:29:46 GMT -5
Hi Annie,
It's exciting that you are ready to move onto another room, especially after the amazing job you did on your son's bedroom.
I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my mess, and establishing rules for myself, I can't imagine the extra challenge of doing the same with other people's space and things.
However, if I may go out on a limb and assert my opinion here. I think of a living room or family room where the family can do and enjoy activities together. It seems to me like your living room is Spider Man Central. It appears that your sons' stuff is taking over! Search as I might, I could only find one thing I thought was yours, a book near the recliner...although the super-soaker does look like fun!
It's great that your boys are living in abundance, but they too need to understand what we are all trying to control here, and that is too much stuff!!
Perhaps you could have a big yard sale, or the boys might really feel good about donating their old toys to a church.
You're doing great, I can't wait to see the progress on whichever room you tackle next!
GhettoFabulous
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Post by DJ on Sept 25, 2008 16:40:14 GMT -5
hOoah for decisions! i don't think anyone does it to be mean, and i -love- my mom to pieces.. but she did the thing to me.. where. she was a great housekeeper cleanliness wise but disorganised herself.. so i almost never ever ever from when i was tiny got help organising my room. of course i was a territorial little snot so it didn't make it any easier for her... she had a hard time with it then me prowling around like a small wild beast who's den has been invaded<G> but "clean your room" didn't even strike dread into me beause i knew i wasn't going to do it. and mom wasn't cruel so she wasn't mean to me about it. she just sighed and threw up her hands.. but. i didnt know -how- and i didn't have the stuff i needed to even do what i'd been asked. and i didn't know what i did need, so i didn't ask. i mean. ."you want me to put away my books it might help if i had a book shelf" wouldn't have been out of line, i don't think. but i just didn't know better. no one did. so i'd keep it clean. didnt like it dirty. but stuff was just piled and i didn't have the resources to fix it. ya know? not all kids are like this.but alot are eager to please -when they know how- my experience as a kid growin' up in a messy home.. everyone's milage may vary:D
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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 25, 2008 16:47:47 GMT -5
ghetto said...."It seems to me like your living room is Spider Man Central. It appears that your sons' stuff is taking over! Search as I might, I could only find one thing I thought was yours, a book near the recliner...although the super-soaker does look like fun!"
You nailed it right on the head there GF!!! Made me giggle, but it is so true!! I have to get the "stuff" down to a manageable level. Just all there is to it.....it probably doesn't show in pics, but there are actually LEGOS (my sons are 12 and 16 mind you) that still get played with!! They like to build. First thing I am going to do is go buy a big tub to put them in!! Maybe even tonight!! But there is a lot of other stuff that is going to get the boot!! Probably will have to do this when they aren't there. But I would never throw anything away that I thought might mean something to them.....that means having to corral "Spider Man Central"!!
djdj-Good point about wanting a child to clean and "put books away, but how do I do it without a book shelf?" I will try to remember this!
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Post by houseworkhater on Sept 25, 2008 17:03:59 GMT -5
i vote for other son's room, then LR, then extra room. you can box up anything that eventually goes into the extra room, but maybe if each son has a clean room, they will want to continue getting things clean and organized. good luck!
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Post by brenda on Sept 25, 2008 20:11:12 GMT -5
A few thoughts in no random order.
Your son is 16, you should work on his space together. If he does not learn now he may be in your shoes in not too many years.
You are so brave!
Work on the living room first. Since you spend most of your time there being in a nice environment will strengthen you to deal with the rest. Your boys are older now and will have to accept that you can't keep everything. Be brutal with what you purge so you can actually enjoy each other!
You are doing great.
Brenda
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