OnTiptoe
New Member
Joined: September 2008
Posts: 13
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Post by OnTiptoe on Sept 29, 2008 4:22:59 GMT -5
I've been posting on a message board on Dr Phil's website for months. Having the fellowship has helped me this past year through a lot of growth. I mentioned my predicament and was given link to this site. I read, with both fascination and revulsion some of the linked articles and the bios of famous hoarders last night. In some ways, I felt vindicated. I can still walk on the floor of my apt and have a visable pathway!
My previous residency was with a local housing authority and lived in a 3 bdrm duplex for 15 1/2 yrs. All was fairly well until I married my ex. He is also an accumulator, as well as alcoholic. He emptied two storage units and filled up our basement to the rafters. This was unacceptable for the housing authority. After failing housing inspection in spring of '07, I fought the pending eviction with a requested hearing. Was represented by pro-bono, leading tenant rights attorney. She worked out a way, after months of stress, for me to have a repreive. I was given the opportunity to file a form called a "Request for accomodation". My doctor signed that I was suffering from depression and therefore faced mental health barrier to cleaning out the apt of clutter.
At the same time, I got my abusive husband out of the house. I filed for divorce one year ago. In the process of this, he was given a day to come and retrieve his stuff. He only took some of it out. Well.... I went back to school, got on with my goals and dreams. Halfway through school, the housing mgr tells me that the legal dept wants to go through with eviction.
She was willing to put her neck on the line and work with me by giving me some time to just move out before they evicted me. I began searching for other affordable options. I was accepted by a transitional, subsidized apt with a 2 yr residency. I finished school and got busy with work while preparing to move.
Not much real preparation and my dear friends came to help me on moving day. I was very embarrassed with the condition of my messy house when so many people came to help me. NOT one single person was at ALL judgemental. They sympathetically helped me with the tasks at hand. Some packed, some hauled... after three days total over a week's time I got what I wanted out of the old unit. I left so much mess there that I had no time to sort out or wanted to move. When the manager came to see it, I cried with shame. I have three bedrooms but no full basement like the old place. I found out that housing took out 6 truckloads to the dump, my final pricetag for their clean up: over $1200.
So, I'm here for two months now. Been working 48-55 hours per week since moving in, as well as single parenting 4 kids. Manager came into the apt without warning Sept 12 and was VERY abusive towards me for having so much stuff here and told me that I had to be out in 10 days. I notified legal aide, who sent her letter informing her that the notice she gave me was illegal. So then she came back into my house this past week, AGAIN without ANY written warning. She woke me during my sleeping time: I work nights. Harrassed and verbally abused me again, berating me for not cleaning up in the past 10 days and for getting legal aid to help. I was given another written notice that day. My attorney said this notice was also not legal and worded in correctly. Would not stand up in court.
She threatened me with calling the fire dept and social services. I got a notice of violation of fire code the next day. This threatened if the problems not fixed I could be fined and prosecuted. Friday I got a call from a social worker.
In the light of all this, I decided to just pack up stuff to store.. BARE minimum... and I only rented a 5 X 10 unit. Rented a truck today to move it there. I have spent most of this week planning our get away from here and move to VA. Carefully mapped out our route with mapquest, made reservations for motels, and in every step the timing seemed perfect. My father helped me out with a nice sum to pad my bank account to help get me there. Said goodbye to friends, school, family, ect. The plan was to take to storage today, leave most of the stuff behind and get out of town by 9am tomorrow... MON.
Well, I'm trying to go get kids from grandma tonight and my car transmission died on the highway, just 1/2 mile from home. I had to wait over 2 hrs for a tow covered by my road assistance. I just had the car serviced with tune up friday and mechanic assured me it was road worthy for our trip.
I am SO frustrated! I really was totally ready to just dump all the old crap and set out for brighter horizons and a new opportunity! Now, I just don't know what to do. The one thing I was most grateful for was my car... having it means so much to me. I could let go of all for the freedom to go anywhere I wanted. Now, I just feel SO .... helpless and trapped! Seems like EVERYTHING in my life is just useless junk!
Well, anyway, I'm happy to have found this site and boards. Giving me more insight and support for my affliction. Thank you all.
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Post by messymimi on Sept 29, 2008 15:55:49 GMT -5
Welcome, ontiptoe  !
Your new, fresh start is not canceled, just delayed while you get the car repaired.
Meanwhile, is there a way to just pack what you will move with you and trash the rest? That way you don't have to worry about storage.
messymimi/color]
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Post by pegasus48 on Sept 29, 2008 20:12:21 GMT -5
Glad you found your way here, ontiptoe. Once your car is repaired, you can proceed with your plan. In the meantime, toss a bunch of trash since you already separated out the good stuff. Whether you stay or go, keep coming back to see us. We have all been there with mess and stuff. |
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Post by crazycatlady on Sept 29, 2008 21:31:07 GMT -5
Welcome, OnTipToe. We have various people here living in and working their way out of squalor. Some can't see the floors (yet), others have many clean areas, and other piled up, dirty areas. No matter where you are at on your path, you will find help and encouragement here.  I'm glad that you joined us, and I hope that you find some help in getting your car repaired.
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Post by saffron on Oct 1, 2008 20:23:38 GMT -5
Welcome, ontiptoe,
I'm so glad you found your way to this place. It's helped so many people, and I know you will find help and support, also. I hope you are able to get your car problems worked out soon.
:-XSaffron
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Post by houseworkhater on Oct 2, 2008 15:21:22 GMT -5
welcome, ott! you will find help and friends here!
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Post by tiredofthis on Oct 2, 2008 19:19:20 GMT -5
Hi ontiptoe.. your name kind of makes me think of how I walk on tiptoes if I'm barefoot in my house so I don't have to put my whole foot on the (usually) dirty floor.
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Post by heylady1 on Oct 4, 2008 21:31:47 GMT -5
Welcome Ontiptoe! Sorry to hear about your car dying like that!  How awful and especially after having everything planned out so nicely! I hope this was only a temporary set back and you can get going again soon!
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