dragonfly
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 11
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Post by dragonfly on Oct 5, 2008 7:40:45 GMT -5
I know I have a problem with Mess. Sometimes I like to say if my friends love me, they'll love my house. And then I try to find ways NOT to invite them over and when they come over I worry about what they think anyway. I want to have people over. I want them to see ME and not all the mess. My house embarresses me and I want that to stop. I believe I'm in second degree squalor, though at times I've reached third degree in the kitchen and living room. My husband took sick three years ago and it was a very stressful time for all of us. One of my reactions was to let the house go. At first it was just I was too tired to deal with it. Then it became a control thing; I couldn't control the hubby's illness, but I could control my house. Or not control it as the case may be. I was also angry at my in-laws for the way they were dealing with his illness and since they have always kept a clean and tidy house, my reaction was to go the opposite way. As time went on hubby got better, and I lost my anger and started to climb out of the hole I was in. I've taken an interest in my house again; well, for the first time really and want to make it clean...do some decorating. make it express me in a more positive light. I discovered this board when SS was still up but was just a lurker. I guess I wasn't ready to take the steps I needed to. In lurking, though, I discovered many kindred souls here and compassionate ones, as well. I think that, more than anything, gave me the motivation to register here. You are all so amazingly compassionate and caring and warm and supportive. I AM motivated now, and a lot of that has to do with everone here.
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Post by eagle on Oct 5, 2008 10:53:31 GMT -5
Welcome, dragonfly.
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Post by pegasus48 on Oct 5, 2008 11:42:40 GMT -5
Welcome, dragonfly. I am glad you are now posting because we love to talk to each other! It sounds like you know what you want to do, and I know you can do it. Bit by bit you will turn your house into the lovely place you have envisioned. Keep posting and keeping reading.
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dragonfly
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 11
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Post by dragonfly on Oct 5, 2008 13:11:20 GMT -5
I've decided that as the house gets cleaner I'm going to start decorating it. I haven't really decorated my house and we've lived here 8 years. I love watching HGTV and getting ideas; perhaps that's why I've never really had an interest in my own home; looking at other places, at how clean and attractive they look makes me feel...inadequate. But that's my own fault. This is going to be my home for a very long time. I have the power to make it as homey and attractive and lovely to live in as I want it to be. You just have to make the first step.
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Post by heylady1 on Oct 5, 2008 17:29:13 GMT -5
Welcome Dragonfly!! I'm glad that your hubby is better and that you have taken an interest in your home again!! I know too well how difficult it can be when your spouse is ill and the in-laws are not being very helpful. Glad you're here! (yeah, I know it's not a dragonfly but the closest thing I could find! )
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dragonfly
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 11
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Post by dragonfly on Oct 5, 2008 19:12:30 GMT -5
thanks for the warm welcome. I do appreciate it. And that's a beautiful butterfly.
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Post by messymimi on Oct 5, 2008 19:16:23 GMT -5
Welcome, dragonfly !
Lurking a while is common. I think it helps us get our bearings so we can deal effectively with ourselves.
I'm glad you are motivated now, and believe you will make your home beautiful in time.
messymimi
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Post by crazycatlady on Oct 5, 2008 21:57:38 GMT -5
Welcome, Dragonfly. There is a pond near where I work, and sometimes in the summer, I like to walk around the pond at lunchtime. I always see dragonflies. Such fragile looking things, and often with beautiful colors, sparkling in the sunshine.
Welcome to Stepping Out of Squalor. It sounds like it is your time to make some changes, and reclaim your home.
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Post by skatters on Oct 5, 2008 22:02:14 GMT -5
Welcome dragonfly! I enjoyed your post. I think it is wonderful that you have begun to identify some of the emotional causes of your clutter. I know a few of us who struggle with that! Glad to have you here!
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Post by notsomessyshell on Oct 6, 2008 16:48:14 GMT -5
I am a newbie, but I welcome you too. I am glad to hear your hubby is better. I just discovered this place. I wish I had learned about it earlier. Although I probably wouldn't have been ready to deal before now. So what kind of decorating will you be doing? What is your taste?
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dragonfly
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 11
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Post by dragonfly on Oct 8, 2008 11:40:20 GMT -5
We have lots of dragonflies here. I have a hammock that I lay on in the summertime and you can look up and see 30 or 40 of them flying around swooping on the bugs. As for my decorating style...I'm not sure. I'm a bit eclectic and I don't really like brand new things. I love hunting yard sales and flea markets and finding treasures or offbeat things to add to my home. Right now I have only a few pictures on the walls and no drapes. The messiness of the house has sort of put decorating by the wayside. I do know that I want a neat house with a style that's warm and welcoming that people aren't afraid to come into for fear of breaking something or messing it up. Plus I have a 10 year old son who has a wide circle of friends and I want them to feel they are always welcome here.
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someday
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 54
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Post by someday on Oct 8, 2008 16:08:40 GMT -5
Congratulations on taking the first steps!! I know how hard that is. But it really does help to know you're not alone, and the people on here are so supportive. Not to mention they have the BEST organizing ideas!
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