|
Howdy
Oct 5, 2008 23:13:29 GMT -5
Post by notsomessyshell on Oct 5, 2008 23:13:29 GMT -5
I can't believe I found this. I am a level 2. I used to think I was keeping it under control but many family tragedies and near tragedies have just about done me in. I will not allow anyone in my house. My oldest has 2 friends I allow over and that is it. I felt I was on an unending downward spiral, but finding this and the website it was attached to have given me hope. And suggestions. And a plan.
Thank you.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 8:50:31 GMT -5
Post by cando on Oct 6, 2008 8:50:31 GMT -5
Hi MessyShelby. Welcome! I'm sorry to hear about the tragedies. I am Level 2, also and won't let anyone in my door either. I spend lots of time in the Listzilla forum. Please feel free to jump in on any threads at anytime. The listzilla forum is all about getting things done and supporting & cheering each other on, as well. A great thread to start with would be the WITs (Working in threes). I think you will find lots of on-line friends here. Chat is a great place to go if you are having trouble getting started or are feeling down & need to get motivated. Have a great day, MessyShelby. CD
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 9:04:13 GMT -5
Post by sleepymom on Oct 6, 2008 9:04:13 GMT -5
Hi Shelby, and welcome, I think many of us can relate that things started falling apart with some sort of trauma or family tragedy. It is so hard to focus on anything but keeping yourself going when your world is turned upside down. One of the best suggestions I have is to start where you are. Make a commitment to not letting things get any worse. Start with ETE- Erasing The Evidence- that means picking up after yourself right away- washing dishes (or at least put them in the sink or dishwasher) right after you use them, put your book or craft supplies away after using them, dirty clothes directly to the hamper or washer when they`re taken off, if you drop or spill something, take care of it right away. Don`t worry about the back log right away, just take care of what you`re doing right now. Try to get your kids on board with that, but work on yourself first. If you have a problem with trash, walk around a room, just pick one, with a trash bag and fill it up. You can stop after one, and admire the difference you`ve just made. A lot of folks work with a timer. Set it for 15 minutes, or less, if 15 sounds like too much, and just commit to working on something, anything, for that time. Some people work on the Listzilla board. Pick a couple of things to work on and come back and report. Sometimes holding yourself accountable for just that much to the board gives you motivation to get going. These aren`t my ideas, just some that I`ve seen a lot on the board. Sometimes just having a suggestion for a place to start can help you get started. Another one: motivation follows action- that means if you don`t feel like doing anything, you can`t wait until you do feel like it- just start on something, anything, and you may find you`ll feel like doing more after commiting to doing just a little bit.
Best wishes, Hope to see you around more.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 10:56:04 GMT -5
Post by notsomessyshell on Oct 6, 2008 10:56:04 GMT -5
Thanks for the warm welcome! I have always been messy and my hubby has hoarding tendencies. It just seems like I turned around and my life was upside down, you know. I have tried some of the suggestions on here already from articles I have read. I felt like I was the only person who had a life like this. I think finding this site just may save my sanity.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 13:04:24 GMT -5
Post by ivorytower on Oct 6, 2008 13:04:24 GMT -5
You're certainly not the only person! I think there are probably far more 'squalorees' than is generally recognised. I've been in other people's homes which were very messy - level 1 - 2 , and I've not minded one bit, but I can't bear to let anyone see my home in a similar way.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 13:34:05 GMT -5
Post by AnnieOkie on Oct 6, 2008 13:34:05 GMT -5
Welcome!!
Sleepymom's tip about using a timer is an excellent one. I have not habitually used this method, but one evening I was feeling rather stubborn and defiant. I set the timer for 59 minutes and I was AMAZED at what I got done. Knowing that the timer would be going off shortly (and it didn't seem that long), helped me to get through the things I did do.
This is a great place to be and I am thankful every day for finding it!!
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 13:57:16 GMT -5
Post by pegasus48 on Oct 6, 2008 13:57:16 GMT -5
Welcome shellby. You have found an online family. We all share the same problem to varying degrees. And most of us struggle with maintenance after initial cleanup. But it can be done! There are a lot of really nice folks here. We are glad you could join us.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 6, 2008 20:15:50 GMT -5
Post by crazycatlady on Oct 6, 2008 20:15:50 GMT -5
Welcome, Shellby. I'm so glad that you found us! Please let us know how you are doing...we will cheer you on and help to encourage you to keep going when it seems you can't!
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 7, 2008 15:04:48 GMT -5
Post by messymimi on Oct 7, 2008 15:04:48 GMT -5
Welcome, messyshelby !
So glad you are here.
Messy wife, hoarder hubby -- are we twins and didn't know it?
messymimi
|
|
dragonfly
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 11
|
Howdy
Oct 8, 2008 11:33:25 GMT -5
Post by dragonfly on Oct 8, 2008 11:33:25 GMT -5
Welcome, messyshelby! I think you've come to a great place. Lots of support, warmth and humour.
Dragonfly
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 10, 2008 7:10:55 GMT -5
Post by clearwaterush on Oct 10, 2008 7:10:55 GMT -5
I thought I was the only one who wouldn't let people in...If they do come in unexpectedly I confine them to the couch and the bathroom! and hope they leave within the half hour! I am not sociable in my house because it is not near clean like theirs are...just beautiful and clean like a show home....and they have NO tolorance for what they call *** filthy people...We play cards up on the hill with them every two weeks of the month...four couples with it seems like immaculate tastes...I wish I could be like them...maybe one day?
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 10, 2008 18:55:55 GMT -5
Post by limegreen on Oct 10, 2008 18:55:55 GMT -5
Noone gets as far as the couch in my house, they stand on the doormat and I discourage callers. Apart from tradesmen, the landlord and Dad, no one gets over the threshold. DD's best friend sho is legally blind is allowed in, she can't see the mess, and if she could, she's far too much of a lady to comment.
So hi there Shelby, and welcome, you're among friends.
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 10, 2008 19:38:05 GMT -5
Post by notsomessyshell on Oct 10, 2008 19:38:05 GMT -5
I don't let my parents over any more. All gatherings are at their house. If anyone comes to pick it up their AVON I have them call me and I meet them at the gate. I used to have a big dog and he was a great deterrent to anyone coming in, but he passed away. I have not let the bug man into the house in 4 years. He only sprays the outside. We don't have any reason for him to, thank goodness. The few friends that oldest son has over come from much worse or as bad houses, either physically messy or emotionally. I love them as much as my own kids I swear. I take in all kinds of strays--animal or human. My son says I collect them. Bwah!
|
|
|
Howdy
Oct 12, 2008 10:10:41 GMT -5
Post by heylady1 on Oct 12, 2008 10:10:41 GMT -5
Welcome Messyshellby! Yesssss I can relate about not letting people in. Even though my house is presentable in the common areas the thought of the "hidden" squalor is what deters me. That and maybe the toliet isn't clean enough. (I'm not the best or most diligent housekeeper.) Or the furniture is not so great. It's just never been good enough for company. It's only been lately that I've let anyone in the door other than the LL, family, and my son's friends. And that's because of this site! So you've come to the right place......you can do it. We can help. Hey wait, that's a home depot commercial!!
|
|