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Post by Rennie Ellen on Oct 19, 2008 22:12:35 GMT -5
Heylady1,No, I don't think anyone is going to judge you or anything. Honestly Rennie I don't. I think it's wonderful you've asked for help!! Don't be afraid to ask for more help if you need it, especially after the surgery!! ((And yes, coffee or ice water would be more than enough for you to offer)) Oh, I know someone -- the Housing inspectors. They'll say, "We know residents who are more disabled than you whose floors are so clean, you can eat off them. So don't use your illness as an excuse." (I've been told this lots of times, even after I had cancer.)
Everytime I hear them say that, I'm SO tempted to say (I don't because I don't want to get in trouble), "Then could I please have their names and numbers? I'd like to get them to help me." I wrote in a post on the old board why the inspectors do this -- the bottom line is money, of course.
But if they were to hear that I now have a heart problem along with everything else, they'd say the same thing -- that I'm using my illness for an excuse to not clean. That more than anything was what prompted me to ask for help. You know it's not true, and I know it's not true, but THEY'RE the ones who have the power to evict me if my apartment isn't up to Housing standards.
I'm going to at least get the kitchen and bathroom to stage 0 by the end of the week. The living room is stage 1 and bedroom is stage 2 and the church ladies can help me with that, but I can start on it after finishing the bathroom and kitchen.
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Post by zinnia on Oct 19, 2008 22:28:14 GMT -5
Remember: The church ladies *want to help you*-- and it is nice of you to let them. Really.
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Oct 20, 2008 15:06:28 GMT -5
Script,I can't recall the source of this story, but I read it a long time ago, and it has sustained me in my (relatively minor) illnesses. There was a young sister in a religious community who was ailing and often confined to bed. One of the older sisters made a snarky remark in her hearing: "I thought all of us here were supposed to work."The saintly young sister replied, "Oh but I do work: my job is to be sick". Dear Rennie: let the church ladies take care of you. It is their job to help you and everyone else in the community. You have given to others in your work; now it is your turn to receive. I want to be fired from this job. !
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Post by notsomessyshell on Oct 20, 2008 15:50:34 GMT -5
When I have had to ask for help in the past I felt like you. It is a hard thing to do to ask. You are over the first major hurdle already. Now don't stress the refreshment thing. I have been on the other side, the helper side and we brought our own stuff. The ailing person is not expected to do it, they are ailing after all. If they need help I am pretty sure they are not in the position to bake and such, right? Right.
Now let them aid you. Here is the phrase I was taught: Do not rob them of their joy of helping you. It is better to give than receive. I know one day when you are able you will be willing to help someone else.
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