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Post by Rennie Ellen on Oct 18, 2008 20:21:12 GMT -5
Trying to prepare for the unknown is hard to do, but today I made it a little easier for me -- I asked for help. (Gulp.)
The pastor's wife of one of the churches who brings meals to our Bible study group once a month called and I told her about my recent diagnosis of a heart problem. She called earlier in the week and told me if there was anything the church could do, to let her know. She said the same thing today, and I decided to take her up on it. I told her about how I'd gotten behind in my housecleaning since I've been sick (since May! Oy!) and the more I do, the behinder I get because I can't work very fast. She said she and some of the ladies from the church would be more than happy to come help me. She also kept telling me over and over, "You're not alone in this."
I know this is the right thing to do, because I won't be able to get ready for my inspection if I have surgery. And if I don't, the condition of my home will be one less thing to worry about. But at the same time, I'm fighting feelings of shame at letting people I hardly know see the condition of my house. Even though I know I have a valid reason why it got that way....even though I know they won't think I'm slothful or lay-zee....even though I know they won't judge me in any way, I still feel ashamed.  So in the two weeks before they come over to clean, I'll be cleaning!  I'm going to do what I can, anyway.  I'm sure all of us can get my home back to stage 0 sooner than it would for me to do it by myself. But I'm tempted to call back the pastor's wife and tell her I've changed my mind.
And on Monday I'm going to call the medicaid people and see if my new diagnosis will qualify me for home health care. With the recent cuts to services, I might not qualify until after I've had surgery. But it doesn't hurt to see what all my options are.
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Post by syzygy on Oct 18, 2008 20:45:06 GMT -5
Good for you!
It's not easy to ask for help- I know that!
You made a tough decision and were able to put your health first! Just don't hurt your health by trying to do everything before your helpers get there. I'd say to just do what you have to do.
And maybe plan to pick up some finger snacks- maybe cupcakes- and bottles of water or soda or juice the day before. No not bake yourself!!!!
Keep up updated.
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Oct 18, 2008 20:56:39 GMT -5
Syzygy,And maybe plan to pick up some finger snacks- maybe cupcakes- and bottles of water or soda or juice the day before. No not bake yourself!!!!  I don't have the money to buy snacks (this month is license renewal month plus car inspection, after bills are paid). I don't have any food stamps left to get anything else! The only thing I do have is coffee. I don't know what to do. 
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Post by syzygy on Oct 18, 2008 21:18:55 GMT -5
I didn't mean to add to your worries!
Something to drink is more important than something to eat, so focus on that. You have coffee and it's autumn (it is here, I'm not sure where you live), most people like coffee. If you're really concerned, how about getting something like Kool-Aid or that low-sugar lemonade? I haven't bought any in a long time, but I remember the little packets being really cheap. And, if you can, wash out a pitcher, fill it with water and put it in the fridge. Maybe make some ice cubes (unless your ice cube tray is inaccessible).
Then you can offer hot coffee, cold coffee, Kool-Aid/Lemonade, and cold water. I think that having a cold and a hot drink is all you need; the Kool-Aid is an extra.
And since you have some time before they arrive, try to wash enough cups for each person in the group to have a drink. Or if you have paper cups, use those.
If I was coming over, I would assume that the person wouldn't be able to have anything for us and would really appreciate having some cold water and a clean cup to use.
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Post by BC on Oct 18, 2008 21:25:46 GMT -5
Good for you Rennie, well done!  Asking for help is so hard! I've done it and I think it was the hardest thing I did. I'm with Syzgy, you should try not to do too much before they arrive - your health is more important than anything else. Good luck with everything, I look forward to hearing your progress! Take care. |
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Hopeful
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 19 
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Post by Hopeful on Oct 18, 2008 21:35:52 GMT -5
I have a valid reason why it got that way
I know they won't think I'm slothful or lay-zee
I know they won't judge me in any way Keep those in mind, and remember that your happiness is important too, not just how you come off to other people. This sort of thing is just what friends are for, and it sounds like you have a great batch. Enjoy your clean home!  |
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eternal
New Member
Joined: September 2008
Posts: 57
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Post by eternal on Oct 19, 2008 9:10:42 GMT -5
If I was coming over to help somebody out like that, I wouldn't be expecting refreshments. But, probably you would feel better if you could offer drinks, even if people refuse. I think it's very brave and sensible of you to accept help.
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Post by drivermom on Oct 19, 2008 12:22:56 GMT -5
I know how you feel Rennie. 2 years ago people from my church came over and helped me clean ALOT of junk out of my house. It was a humbling experience. I'm sure your place is no where near as bad as mine was but I understand how humbling it can be. you did the fight thing asking for help and Praise GOD that they are there to help you. Please don't try to feel ashamed. You have been sick and need the help. we all do at times. to you. |
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Post by pegasus48 on Oct 19, 2008 12:39:48 GMT -5
Rennie Ellen, you did the right thing to ask for help. And, no, it is not easy to do so. But you do need help and you sure have had it rough. Allow yourself to have this help. Just make some coffee and have some ice water on hand. That is just fine for refreshment. (Since they know you have been sick, they probably don't even expect that.) |
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Marjieroze
New Member
Joined: September 2008
Posts: 66
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Post by Marjieroze on Oct 19, 2008 13:54:14 GMT -5
Rennie, sorry to hear about your heart problems. i'm new on this new sight (i'm marjieroze) and hadn't heard. I think that the church ladies will be trustworthy to help you clean. although, i am the same way as far as trust. it sounds like they're going to be very understanding. |
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Post by phoebepj on Oct 19, 2008 15:12:23 GMT -5
hugs rennie it will all work out in the end  |
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Post by heylady1 on Oct 19, 2008 16:16:38 GMT -5
Let me put it this way: if I was going over to help a neighbor/friend/relative who'd been sick for a long time clean their house, I wouldn't expect their house to be clean!!!  I would expect the house to be in bad shape. If you're sick and can barely do anything, how could you clean a house?? No, I don't think anyone is going to judge you or anything. Honestly Rennie I don't. I think it's wonderful you've asked for help!! Don't be afraid to ask for more help if you need it, especially after the surgery!! ((And yes, coffee or ice water would be more than enough for you to offer)) |
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Post by messymimi on Oct 19, 2008 16:38:25 GMT -5
In China, when a Christian church baptizes a new believer, they say something to the effect that now the Lord has another set of eyes with which to see needs, another set of feet to go where the needs are, and another pair of hands to help with.
You've been asking God for help, and I've been praying on your behalf (as have many people), and He has answered you. He has sent help as He always does, through people who care about you.
I'm glad they are coming, and I'm proud of you for asking for them to come. They won't think badly of you because you are too ill to clean.
messymimi
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Post by Script on Oct 19, 2008 17:54:34 GMT -5
I can't recall the source of this story, but I read it a long time ago, and it has sustained me in my (relatively minor) illnesses.
There was a young sister in a religious community who was ailing and often confined to bed. One of the older sisters made a snarky remark in her hearing: "I thought all of us here were supposed to work."
The saintly young sister replied, "Oh but I do work: my job is to be sick".
Dear Rennie: let the church ladies take care of you. It is their job to help you and everyone else in the community. You have given to others in your work; now it is your turn to receive.
Luv from Script
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Post by threeg on Oct 19, 2008 22:10:20 GMT -5
Rennie I do hope that you feel better real soon. Meanwhile, please accept the help without worrying or feeling ashamed.
I'm sure the people from your church believe in doing this in the spirit of; "Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord."
I do hope that you get a home health aide/homemaker too. 3g
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