clutterpea
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 12
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Post by clutterpea on Oct 20, 2008 21:58:57 GMT -5
sorry guys, deleted
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Post by zinnia on Oct 20, 2008 22:11:51 GMT -5
Well, it sort of implies YOU have failed and now he's going to do it all easily. And he's in your space- it is stuff you need to do yourself/or think you need to do by yourself. I hope he's actually just offering to arrange a dumpster-- so you can sort and he can simply haul & heave-ho into the dumpster. Maybe you could calmly talk to him some more about this soon?
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Post by pegasus48 on Oct 20, 2008 22:54:16 GMT -5
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Post by brenda on Oct 20, 2008 23:06:27 GMT -5
When others make what we find difficult easy it can bring out defensiveness.
It really does not matter how or who gets it done it is more important it gets done.
I am irrationally angry at times myself, it has been a life long struggle not to be so defensive and accept love.
Brenda
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Post by UdderChaos on Oct 21, 2008 1:27:54 GMT -5
Can anyone tell me why this caused such quick bitchiness on my part? I got ALL mad, I don't want him doing MY cleaning/sorting.. now, why? I don't have time to get it all done, you'd think I'd welcome help.. sigh.. Maybe the same erratic gene that if my dh said "I challenge you to *insert clean something here*" I would open a can-o-whoop@ss on him, but people here do the same, and I'm like "how long do I have?" So, ClutterPea, I'm going to get a dumpster for you, and I hear your dh has a couple of weeks off, so maybe just ask him if he'd like to give you a hand getting stuff cleared out? And if he doesn't, I'll open up a can-o-whoop@ss on him..... Hope that helps. Or, listen to Brend, Pegasus and Zinnia, they had good thoughts too.
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Post by limegreen on Oct 21, 2008 2:28:07 GMT -5
Having "help" can get under your feet as well as right up your nose. But if you work separately but together, it can go a lot better. Like when my mum helped me a couple of years ago. It went so much better when she did the housework chores, freeing me up to declutter. When we were both trying to declutter in the kitchen, tears were shed, harsh words exchanged, etc. So maybe if you get him to do the grunt work hauling stuff out to the dumpster, or he clears the garage whilst you clear in the house. Or does some yard work, or anything really that would add to the sprucing up process without having to be clashing heads in the same closet and arguing about the optimun number of table linens one family needs. Even if he just encourages you by insisting you take a break and bringing you a nice cold drink every couple of hours and fixing dinner for the family, that'd be a huge help.
But I quite agree, close family in close proximity whilst doing an already stressful task is guaranteed to not bring out the best in us.
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