saveit
New Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 18
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Post by saveit on Oct 22, 2008 1:27:04 GMT -5
I am very depressed with my squalor and financial squalor. I tend to lay in bed instead of working on my problems But I have a problem with one of the neighbors. I don't associate with any of the neighbors probably because I don't have to. I live alone with no children. I live in a very nice planned neighborhood. We pay expensive dues and in return have 2 pools, gym, tennis courts, parks, biking and walking trails. The common ground is well manicured with trees shrubs and flowers. So there are strict rules that everyone has to follow like keeping lawn mowed etc. I have lived here 3 1/2 yrs and for the last 2 1/2 yrs or so someone is messing with me: first someone kept picking up flattened cardboard boxes that I laid on driveway for recycling. The trash company wants any cardboard boxes to be broken down and laid flat for trash day. And whoever this person is would always put the boxes inside my trash can. Well thats not all that they are doing. I work long hrs about 60-65 hrs a week so I leave early in the morning and come home late at night very tired. On Wednesdays I put the trash out before I leave in the morning and when I come home late at night I don't always put the trash can away on the patio in the backyard [ the garage is full] So this person moves my trash can up against my garage door if I don't always put it away the same day. Also when I put things out to donate to charities sometimes the charities leave things behind that they don't want. And again if there is something left at the curb this person moves it against my garage door. This isn't enough for them, this summer I left an empty plastic gas can up against my garage door and sure enough it disappeared. Now since I keep my garbage can off the driveway they are throwing newspapers from the yard up against my garage doors. Someone told me that they think this person is trying to be helpful but I don't believe it for one minute. I have more pets than the subdivision rules allows so I am afraid if I say something to the next door neighbor they will report me if they see my cats in the windows. By the way I think it is my next-door neighbors. When I was in the yard neither one of them said hello so I didn't either. I feel that if I say something to them or anyone else it will cause more problems..I know it is my responsibility. My lawn service stopped mowing the lawn about 2 weeks ago for the season so I need to find someone who is willing to cut the grass only once or twice. I know everyone here understands and I just needed to vent Saveit  |
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Post by Carrie on Oct 22, 2008 5:26:21 GMT -5
It sounds like whoever is doing the moving of things up to your garage door is just very particular about following "rules" and expects you to be right on top of everything, even though you work long hours. It doesn't sound to me as if someone is "messing with you" though. Probably just intrusive neighbors, taking advantage of the fact that you're not home a lot. If I were you, I'd just try my best to make sure things are put away off the front area as much as possible so that they won't have reason to complain about you. Since you do have too many cats, and squalor inside the house, the last thing you need is a complaint! If you're pretty sure it's your neighbor, you could always try just thanking them next time you see them out in the yard. Act as though you appreciate them moving your trash can for you when you are at work long hours, and just see what they say! If it's not them, you'll find that out, and if it is them and they have a problem with how you are taking care of things, at least that will give them a chance to speak to you about it and might avoid a complaint. I'm sorry you are so depressed. Do you think you have clinical depression, and are you on any medication? If not, you should probably get evaluated for depression. Getting treatment could make a huge difference in your ability to get out of bed and get mobilized. Thinking of you!  Carrie |
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Post by skitter on Oct 22, 2008 6:57:25 GMT -5
Hi Saveit,
I would agree with CarrieOn,
In my neighbourhood and my son's (half a country away) our neighbours put our garbage cans back against the house after the garbage truck has left. It just depends on who's home. Otherwise, the garbage cans can blow into the street and be damaged.
Of course, you are in the situation, and how you feel about the situation is important too. If you are not used to such neighbourliness (and gentle hints) then it could seem quite strange. If you are a single woman living alone and working long hours, then your neighbours may just be being helpful (and throwing hints).
If I were you, I would say hello next time you have the opportunity. Sometimes people in backyards pretend not to see each other so as to maintain their own privacy and to give privacy to the other people. I'd try saying hello as you see them outside in front. A quick smile and hello, maybe a comment about the weather (unless you live in souther California). Even if they don't respond at first, I'd keep it up.
The fact of the matter is that if you are not talking to them, they can't get to know you at all. Should something happen to either of you, wouldn't you want to have a neighbour whom you could go to to use the phone etc.? It's best to form a relationship first. Then, if they do something that you don't like, you have a relationship basis to deal with any differences of opinion that you might have.
Cheers and best wishes! Get to know your other neighbours too!
skitter
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Post by eaglesflight on Oct 22, 2008 8:15:23 GMT -5
I would go to www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ and laugh and fantasize about leaving such a note myself. Hopefully that will help with the frustration of being unable to do anything about the situation. The only thing is--am I to understand that your gas can was stolen? |
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Post by clearwaterush on Oct 22, 2008 8:50:38 GMT -5
*Paranoid to no end-that's me.
I believe that strangers and neighbors can create more problems for me. I do not allow anyone on our land and NEVER in my house. I stand by and evaluate situations. They probably aren't how I SEE it anyway. I am very cautious of people. You never know...
If your cats are in the window, as a landlord, you tend to notice how many there are....if no one has complained by now you're probably safe.
Can't be too carefull on people and what they say or do...I know ....I'm paranoid...but i'm still alive. Find out if you can put out a no tresspassing sign in your neighborhood, or a neighborhood watch sign.
Do you think it's a person that just wants to keep things neat? If it is helping you, then go with the flow because it would be less to worry about with your working schedule.
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Post by metamorpha on Oct 22, 2008 8:59:05 GMT -5
I'd opt for a security cam pointed toward the driveway. You may be able to rent one for a few days/weeks. Once you find out who the culprit is, start moving their full garbage cans up to their door when you leave for work in the morning.  No, really, I would hire a neighborhood kid to move your garbage can to where you want it after they get home from school. Shouldn't cost more than a dollar. If you find a young kid, you could probably get away with 25 cents.  I would also leave a big sign on your recycling, "This is recycling. Please do not put this in the garbage. Save Mother Earth." or something like that. Good luck saveit. I understand where you are coming from, and really think if you take steps to control where these things wind up, you'll feel much better about it. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Oct 22, 2008 10:18:05 GMT -5
It sounds like whoever is doing the moving of things up to your garage door is just very particular about following "rules" and expects you to be right on top of everything, even though you work long hours. If you're pretty sure it's your neighbor, you could always try just thanking them next time you see them out in the yard. Act as though you appreciate them moving your trash can for you when you are at work long hours, and just see what they say! If it's not them, you'll find that out, and if it is them and they have a problem with how you are taking care of things, at least that will give them a chance to speak to you about it and might avoid a complaint. CarrieI tend to agree with CarrieOn on this one. Maybe falling all over yourself thanking them for their help will make them realize they are overstepping their bounds and they might back off. If not, hey....at least your can is getting brought in from the street. I would also follow the advice about putting a sign on your recycling for a while, it might help them leave it alone. |
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Post by shabbychic on Oct 22, 2008 13:08:38 GMT -5
I am a troublemaker but I have an idea re the cats. They make some very realistic stuffed toy animals these days. You could buy enough to put a cat in every window. If someone from the HOA comes around, you say "Oh, these cats?" as you swing a couple of the fake ones by their tails.
Are the papers in the yard newspapers you subscribe to, or those free ones that they clutter up nonsubscribers' yards with? If the latter, you can call the paper and request that they not throw then in your yard. If you subscribe, maybe you can request them to deliver the paper to your porch or front step. As a former paper carrier I used to hate to "porch" papers but we had to do it if it was requested. A carrier with a good arm can hit the porch from a moving car, but I never mastered that skill.
Shabby Chic
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Post by morningglory on Oct 22, 2008 20:10:39 GMT -5
I also thought of the security cam, and would definitely do that if possible. But I also agree with trying to connect with the neighbors in a non-confrontational way, to maybe "disarm" them. Or, there's always MY fantasy--standing on the porch with a shotgun yelling, "GIT OFFA MY PROPERTEE!" |
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Post by mariposa on Oct 23, 2008 17:45:05 GMT -5
Shabby Chic, that is a hilarious idea! |
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Post by threeg on Oct 23, 2008 20:43:13 GMT -5
Shabbychic that is too funny! Seriously though, the security camera sounds good to me. Also, be careful about the cats. I know they love to be in windows, but it could cause problems in the long run. 3g
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saveit
New Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 18
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Post by saveit on Oct 24, 2008 20:27:14 GMT -5
Loved the idea to fantasize about yelling get off my property. Oh well I guess I just need to keep up with things and never allow anything sitting for more than a few hrs. Forgot to mention that the real reason that I don't want to get too friendly with the neighbors is that I don't want them inside my house so I distance myself. Well I have made an effort on the outside of the house. Today I pulled a huge amount of weeds from the lawn. I filled up a big trash bag with weeds due to my lawn service is finished for the season and the only thing that sticks up in the yard is weeds and crabgrass. Thanks for the suggestions Saveit  |
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