A new start Jul 19, 2020 19:58:22 GMT -5 via mobile cando, eatingbonbons, and 11 more like this Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostBack to Top Post by ohboy on Jul 19, 2020 19:58:22 GMT -5 Hello all, I have posted here several times in the past about my struggles to create a clean living environment for myself. Since those posts I've had moments of progress and periods of decline.Today I finished moving out of that apartment that I lived in for 4 years. I checked in here several times today to read some amnesty threads to help give myself permission to throw things away (including things I've been holding on to for years with vague hopes of donating or selling).I had to deal with a final confrontation of shame as the new owner stopped by and asked some questions. "How long has the stove been turned off? ...You haven't used the stove in over a year and a half?" "The light in the bathroom doesn't work? You've been showering in the dark? Were you actually living here?"I deflected as honestly as I could. What I really wanted to say was, "Sometimes you go thru major depression/anxiety periods for years and this is the best you can do," but as it played out, I didn't allow myself to snap (whether or not it would've been justified/true).I am now beginning a new era in an apartment I like very much. I have hope that things can be different now.Thank you to everyone who reads this and/or has commented in the past. The support given here is beautiful and radically compassionate and everyone here deserves to be held with love and without judgment.If you are struggling, please know that things *can* get better, even if it takes a very long time, and even if the growth or change isn't always linear and in the positive direction.