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Post by goldenthreads on Nov 19, 2021 2:54:34 GMT -5
Welcome, 1jessica1! You'll find help and community here. 300 bags out and a bedroom and bathroom that are livable is progress that matters. |
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Post by phoenixcat on Nov 19, 2021 11:32:29 GMT -5
Welcome  We have a term here - CHAOS - stands for "can't have anyone over syndrome". I would say the vast majority (if not all) of us have lived in fear of that dreaded knock. After many, many years - I'm relatively in maintenance but even yesterday when DH said a friend wanted us to sign something - my first words were, "he's not coming over - is he?".  I for one think storage is a necessary evil for those not at their optimal living situation yet. Personally, I'm probably living in the biggest house we will ever own so if I don't have room to store it, use it or display it - then I need to evaluate why I'm keeping it. BUT -when we were in smaller places and hoping for a larger living situation in our future - keeping stuff that is useful or important to you (assuming you can afford the storage rental) isn't a bad thing in my opinion. As long as you aren't putting anything in there that will attract bugs, vermin or mold (garbage, dirty dishes, etc.). You are already moving mountains. Wishing you all the best and looking forward to hearing about your inspiring progress!  PC |
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Post by larataylor on Nov 19, 2021 18:23:34 GMT -5
1jessica1 - welcome to the forum! You'll find a lot of people here who have been where you are. Downsizing into a smaller space is hard. If you're not a shopaholic or compulsive collector, the storage unit should be great. You can make your space welcoming and have room to exercise. Also freedom from that constant anxiety! I know from experience that it's easy to put the storage unit on the back burner, but the monthly bill is a reminder and incentive to get it done. Hang in there and keep posting!
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Post by def6 on Nov 19, 2021 21:45:30 GMT -5
Welcome here 1jessica1I think you are well on your way. You have a great attitude. You're too young to let your hoard run off any and all love interests. You do deserve a home that you don't have terrors about. I used to have anxiety about folks seeing my house but to tell you the truth I have registered so many "man hours" (I'm a woman though  ) cleaning, decluttering, organizing and donating) that I will look anyone in the eye now. Best of luck to you! |
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1jessica1
New Member
Joined: November 2021
Posts: 49
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Post by 1jessica1 on Nov 20, 2021 0:45:33 GMT -5
Hi thank you for the responses! goldenthreads thank you it felt good to get it all out. I lost count as I went so I had to count how many boxes of trash bags I ordered. I was shocked at the number. I hope to have the rest of the house livable, but I'm so happy the bathroom and bedroom are fairly livable. phoenixcat Ty you for the welcome  I like that term. CHAOS. So fitting. That knock is so scary. Even if I'm at someone else's house and I hear someone knock, I instinctively flinch out of habit, so I wonder how long it will take to stop the fear, even after it's cleared up. It's nice to know I'm not alone in that. Do you find ways to meet people outside if they come over? I find reasons to happen to be outside, if I know they might be coming. I know it's suspicious. I appreciate the understanding about the storage unit. I'm used to the idea resulting in opposition. In my frenzy think I did accidentally pack away some food, but the unit hallways get sprayed, and it's not climate controlled so it will freeze over this winter and should kill anything it attracts. I am trying not to pack anymore vermin attractants though! I envy living in a big house, I would gladly live in a larger house and not have to pay for storage, and I'm trying to keep in mind that a larger space does not mean buy more to fill it. I do keep things in mind for a larger place but honestly, I have more than anyone should for even a large house, so I hope to downsize a ton even when I find a new home. |
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1jessica1
New Member
Joined: November 2021
Posts: 49
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Post by 1jessica1 on Nov 20, 2021 0:51:28 GMT -5
larataylor TY for the welcome. I was able to get a deal on the unit, much cheaper than most units in the area so once it's all in the unit, I am OK with putting it on the backburner temporarily. Once the frenzy is over, I will be burnt out and need a break from "the stuff". I plan to put it out of my mind for at least a month before sorting anything in the unit. My body and mind need a break. But I will be sure to not let it get away from me and end up paying years and years on it. def6 TY I was worried how I would come across. I hope soon my hoard won't come before love. I'd trade it all for someone to care about. I am proud of what I have accomplished and as you said "man hours" but I still can't let anyone see it, so I'm just silently proud of myself and no one in my life knows how many nights I've worked until 4am sorting and trashing.
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Post by larataylor on Nov 20, 2021 7:27:30 GMT -5
I plan to put it out of my mind for at least a month before sorting anything in the unit. My body and mind need a break. But I will be sure to not let it get away from me and end up paying years and years on it. This sounds perfect!
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Post by joyinvirginia on Nov 20, 2021 14:39:56 GMT -5
Welcome Jessica! Everyone here has their own problems and challenges, and things change over time, so.. Do what YOU need to do to address your own specific challenges! When you post something about a specific problem, you may get quite a few suggestions and advice, and stories about what worked for someone in a similar situation. Whatever might work in your situation, try it! and whatever doesn't work for you, ignore it! No judgement, everyone is on their own journey.
You might want to start a blog in the members only blog section, where only members can read posts. Or Listzilla monthly thread is good for encouragement and accountability for specific tasks.
Welcome!
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Post by hedy on Nov 22, 2021 18:11:17 GMT -5
Hello, Jessica. When I was your age, I had a unique opportunity to (finally!) be in a happy, healthy relationship, one with a future. My cluttered home prevented it. There was no serious relationship after that - and it's been decades. There will never be a serious relationship - any sort of relationship of the kind that I'd like - now. Clutter - or rather, my sense of shame about it - effectively ruined my life. But it won't ruin yours. You will succeed in time. I can see that from your words, from your attitude. 👍 All the best. 🌺
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Post by Nael_C on Nov 29, 2021 8:10:07 GMT -5
Hello Jessica! You can do it, step by step. I know how it feels, I have been ashamed for so many things over the years.
We can make it, you can make it, don't beat yourself up, chunk it out, little by little! Cheers, Nael.
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