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Post by goldenthreads on Apr 22, 2022 9:08:20 GMT -5
Good job on what you've done already, and the plan for daily tasks!
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Post by coffeeaddict on Apr 22, 2022 9:14:12 GMT -5
Oh in my daily tasks I'm also going to swish and swipe toilet.
Our toilet isnt bad but for some reason the flooring behind it is always gross so I'm going to buy cleaning wipes and try wipe round about while I'm swishing cleaner into the toilet
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Post by itsybitsy on Apr 22, 2022 11:00:06 GMT -5
Way to go on starting with cleaning toilet and surrounding area, dealing with clothes and dishes!
Edited to add that I missed mentioning one other item that inspectors look for: is there an adequate and clean surface for food preparation? So it's great that you're working on dishes! Once a "prep" area in the kitchen is cleared, "guard that space" and don't let anything go back on it that isn't related (knife, cutting board and bowl are fine as it's normal to have these in things in use several times a day to make food).
As others have suggested, focus on the things an outsider should be focused on, which is specific obstacles that may affect the welfare of pets and people (with minors the priority) living in the flat: 1) clear paths to exit door(s) - reason is safety from tripping hazards or in case of fire 2) obvious garbage taken out of the flat - reason is for health of minors and occupants 3) litter box clean - give permission or "amensty" to throw out a litter box and litter if you can't deal with it and buy a new one. Sweeping up any urine clumps or any excrement anywhere (not saying there are any) - this is a big flag for health reasons. 4) remove fridge of any obviously rotten food. Have specific evidence of fresh, nutritious food - doesn't have to be a lot. Just visible and obvious as fresh. Same for pets so that their food and clean litter can be demonstrated as available This checks all the boxes of: safe access and exit; food and shelter for humans and pets; absence of environmental hazards (for example, pet waste is dealt with). You have evidence of taking your cat to the vet to deal with the health issues. This will help to show you are taking appropriate steps to support your pets. That will go a long way even though there may be lingering pee smell. Other work dealing with stacks of clothes or items, dirty or not, should be considered lower priority, unless those stacks are so high or "spilling out" that they conflict with the #1 priority - clear paths. The reason clearing paths is emphasized is that the social worker MAY be obligated to flag there is a safety problem to other agencies (fire or city inspectors) and that sets off a chain of other visits. So, that's your highest priority right now. Setting a timer and giving yourself permission to stop every 5, 10 or 15 minutes (you decide, based on your mental and physical energy) will help pace yourself. Just keep working through the 4 categories, one at a time, and make it better each go-round, not perfect. You can do this!
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Post by joyinvirginia on Apr 22, 2022 15:14:49 GMT -5
Hi coffee addict and welcome! You may want to start a blog in that section of the forum, or join in on listzilla for folks focusing on certain tasks each day, or whatever works for you! That's the beauty of this board, everyone is at a different stage of dealing with declutter or maintenance and that's ok! We can all learn from each other.
It sounds like you have had significant loss and traumas, and sincere sympathy to you. It's good you have workers who care about you and want to help.
I had significant depression for years. Once I got on the right medication for me, I had so much more energy and motivation. It made a huge difference. I've been stable on the same med for years, but still see a psychiatrist every 6 months.
Re cat urine, keeping things off the floor helped when we had inside cat. The kitty would pee on the mat in the bathroom of all things! Eventually I banished Kitty to the garage during warm weather, she had a very nice box there and could pee wherever she wanted, and the kids could play with her outside.
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Post by coffeeaddict on Apr 22, 2022 21:08:27 GMT -5
Thankyou so much.
I will have a look on listzilla & check out blogs.
Finding this forum has really given me some hope back.
It would be amazing to be able to answer the door and let people in.
I am on an antidepressant that is meant to also be good for anxiety. But I have wondered if I need 2 swap meds, I'm not convinced it's the right one for me
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Post by Nael_C on Apr 23, 2022 14:10:43 GMT -5
   Hello coffeeaddict! Members have already given you great advice. Don't be in a hurry, after this crisis first purging, take the time to go through tasks slowly, I have found that it helps building new, healthy habits over time. Good luck to your journey! |
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Post by coffeeaddict on Apr 23, 2022 18:43:21 GMT -5
Thankyou so much.
I was getting annoyed at myself for going "too slow". But thankyou your right, a steady pace is more likely to help form habits than racing threw it.
I also struggle to look at it in stages, like 1 room, 1 patch of floor or 1 counter top.
I just see the flat & sorting it out as one absolutely huge nightmare task.
I'm not sure how to go about changing but maybe slow & steady is the way. My mindset may change as habits build up
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Post by mylittlescholar on Apr 25, 2022 20:04:08 GMT -5
congratulations on tackling all of these issues!
for me this journey has been about managing my mind and emotions to a degree that surprised me. I have learned a lot about how the brain works! its very hard to think clearly when triggered into anxiety, which just exacerbates the loop. So managing that has turned out to be my first priority. Many of us here have struggled with executive function difficulties, which make everything so much harder! But this forum is a wonderful support for thinking things through.
I've let go of so many judgments about myself as I have developed more compassion and seen that I am not, by any means, alone! this has made it much easier to deal with other people's judgements. I now understand that this process has ultimately been a way to work through a lot of issues and with every tiny bit of success, my inner and outer worlds have improved.
which is a long way of saying that yes, my mindset has changed as I build habits up. I look at it as literally creating new synaptic pathways, new muscle memories, so to speak. Its hard to do after such a big loss as you have had, but it will be easier more often and for longer periods of time.
Be gentle with yourself! you got this. as you get more confident, you will be able to help your kids as well. a lot of us here also have ADHD, so have some idea what you are dealing with!
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Post by coffeeaddict on Apr 26, 2022 2:44:44 GMT -5
Thankyou. That's one of my issues too, once I get anxious I just cant think about the mess rationally.
Starting is also hard for me as I overthink it so much.
Only 2 full days left for me before my support worker comes.
I've slowed down a lot again so hopefully do a lot today and tomorrow
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