squidpdx
New Member
Joined: August 2022
Posts: 1
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Post by squidpdx on Aug 3, 2022 18:14:04 GMT -5
Hello all,
I grew up in a hoarded house and very isolated and depressed. I have struggled all my adult life to keep my home clean, but did really well in the past while living with roommates. Something about respecting them enough to keep shared spaces clean. I recently bought a house, with the intention of renting out rooms since tend to isolate so much, so it will be good to have people around and also give me a reason to keep the house more tidy. However, there have been so many unexpected problems with the house, one thing after another that have made it difficult to even function, let alone find roommates. I got scammed and ripped off by multiple professionals, including my own realtor. I live in Arizona, and the most recent thing is the swamp cooler broke, so my house is often 90+ degrees inside. I was so motivated and happy when I first bought it, but now feel regretful and overwhelmed. I never really unpacked my stuff, so there are boxes and bins everywhere, and I am struggling to keep my house clean at all. I have two dogs and two cats, and there is cat hair everywhere, some pee stains on the rug, and tons of clutter. Rotten food in the fridge, trash in piles, the whole nine yards. I still intend to find roommates, but feel farther and farther away from even being ready to have people come look. The more time that passes the worse it gets. Tomorrow I have an HVAC company coming to give me an AC estimate, but I'm panicking because of how messy the place is. I want to cancel because I am so ashamed to have them come inside. My plan is to try to stay up all night tonight after work to clean, because that's always what I do when someone is scheduled to come over. But it is exhausting, and frankly, I'm not sure I will be able to stay up without sleep.
I guess I am looking for some encouragement or commiseration, and it is a relief to know I'm not the only one living this way. I feel like I never learned how to do basic house cleaning and maintenance, because I grew up living in piles and our house was kept as a family secret. I only ever had one friend come over one time as a child, and she made a comment about not understanding how anyone could live live like that, which broke my heart. And that was it, the only time. I desperately want to break the cycle of shame and isolation. Which is why I bought this house. I want to change and I want to have friends who can come over to see me. I want to feel more healthy and less ashamed.
Thank you for any encouragement and for sharing your experiences. It has meant a lot to read some of the posts.
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Post by desposito on Aug 3, 2022 19:44:49 GMT -5
Hello squid, there are a lot of people here who know the fear of bringing repair people in--so you're definitely not alone. If you can just grit your teeth and get the repairs over with, it's the first step--how can you have the energy to clean when it's so hot in your house? So--there's hope, you can do it--join one of the working threads so that you can have company and support. The repair is just the first step, after that you can work on the other issues.
Just a note from a cat lover--make sure you're keeping the litter pans clean even if you don't do anything else--a few minutes scooping every day will hopefully prevent the cat pee stains, which will take much, much longer to get rid of later on.
Good luck, keep posting, it really does help!
Diane
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journey2
New Member
Joined: July 2022
Posts: 7
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Post by journey2 on Aug 4, 2022 1:47:56 GMT -5
Hi! From a fellow live in AZ person too!
I’ve not been on this site long but already I feel so much hope & inspiration & posting has helped me so much.
It’s repair work that pushed me to find a supportive community so I understand.
Welcome!
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Post by Arid on Aug 4, 2022 2:02:10 GMT -5
Welcome, squidpdx!
I think that you will feel a lot better if you get rid of the obvious trash. Does the area where you live have curbside trash pick-up available? Yes; where I live, we have to pay for the service, but it is invaluable to us!
Most of us here find it helpful to have a wastebasket in *every* room. In our case, my DH or I go around to all the wastebaskets to gather up the trash to take it to the curb for a routinely scheduled pick up once a week. We keep the wastebaskets lined with garbage bags or the small plastic grocery bags (that still are allowed where we live). Pulling out the bags of trash is easy, and it keeps the trash from getting all over everything (leaking, etc.)
Often times, I'm not "thrilled" about having to put away all of my clean dishes. (I usually have *at least* 60 items; yes, I count them!) So, I tell myself that all that I have to do is to put away *five* of them every time that I go to the kitchen. (I make sure that my hands are clean to do this!) By doing this, I usually have most, or all, of the clean dishes put away by the time that I am ready to wash the day's accumulation of dirty dishes.
You could do the same thing where your trash is concerned: every time that you go from one room to another, put *five* items of trash into a bag-lined wastebasket (or even a cardboard box designated for the purpose if you don't have enough wastebaskets). When the bags are full and/or it is time for trash pick up by a trash pick up service, get those bags of trash out of your house!
Trust me; doing it this way really is quite "painless!"
Again, welcome to the board,
Arid
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Post by NewLifeToday on Aug 4, 2022 7:05:02 GMT -5
Welcome squid.  It's nice to have you here. Another desert dweller here. If it could be a help to you: A DIY evap cooler from a styrofoam cooler with frozen gel packs and/or frozen partly-filled water bottles might make it easier to pick up the trash and move from room to room. I can't do much when it is over 90 inside. I find that the DIY cooler blowing on me while I work takes the edge off the heat. Otherwise, it might cool off the room about 2 or 3 degrees. I do better at 90 than 92 or 93. Here is a video on how to make one: I have used metal, bendable dryer vent hoses, but find that a fan on the outside of the DIY cooler blows the cool air towards me more. Best wishes to you for a lovely day. |
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Post by joyinvirginia on Aug 4, 2022 10:51:10 GMT -5
Welcome squid! Glad you found us! You deserve to have a safe, comfortable home. I agree with Arid that having a trash can in every room is very helpful! Do you have space in your yard that you can put a compost pile, for any old food? You don't even need to dig a hole, just put everything in one pile, so it's outside.
NewLifeToday the video about the DIY cooler is so ingenious!
Keep posting, you will get lots of encouragement and ideas here.
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Post by Unswamping on Aug 4, 2022 14:25:16 GMT -5
Welcome squid! We understand here what you are going through. I second others opinion about getting ac fixed asap. Do they need access to all the rooms (I’m up north, not familiar with swamp coolers)? Could you focus on the rooms they need to go into? People here have said that repair people have been in all kinds of houses and they don’t care as long as they can do their job.
As a multiple cat owner, I second what dtesposito said, cleaning the cat boxes daily will help prevent accidents. Cleaning any stained areas to get rid of the odor will help prevent them from peeing in those areas again. Also for two cats, you should have at least three litter boxes (number of cats plus one). Are they in a place where the cats feel safe using them? I know some people put them in a closet and put a cat door on closet door so dogs can’t get in there. I did that and they love it, I love it. I have my litter cleaning kit in there (small trash can, liners, litter scoop, small salad tongs from dollar store for picking up poop, container with clean litter). I put command hooks on the wall to hold utensils and bag of liners. Makes it much easier when everything is right there.
Keep posting! It really helps. Lots of encouragement and helpful hints from people who have been there. From experience, buying a house for first time is really stressful for anyone. Don’t beat yourself up over feeling overwhelmed or not keeping house clean. I am a recovering hoarder and like you have had multiple things go wrong with house since I’ve moved in. My house is not clean. I’ve been focused on repairs and dehoarding. When I go to bed tonight, I will be able to say that my house is better today than yesterday. I focus on that, what I got done today and try not to focus on what else needs to be done. When I feel overwhelmed by everything, I found that not trying to sit and figure it but getting up and doing one thing, helps a lot. If you don’t know where to start, do the dishes (there are always dishes).
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Post by notanotherdecade on Aug 6, 2022 6:12:41 GMT -5
Good luck with the AC guy, spray air freshener everywhere and close off areas he doesn't have to see.. I can only imagine how draining it is to motivation to be stuck in those temperatures, If I had a magic time machine I would have got all the imperfections in the house sorted long ago, By the sounds of it you've been there less than a year...In all seriousness if you think the clutter might get worse, then get the workmen in before things get so bad that they physically can't do the work.. You have touched on what is a BIG issue ➡️ Having more respect for others than for ourselves ➡️ something stops us giving ourselves the lives and homes that function and do us good.. It not just a question of How to get a tidy home, it's as much about Allowing ourselves to live a better life Sorry the internet swallowed my original reply.. welcome squidpdx you are not alone.. |
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Post by def6 on Aug 8, 2022 16:31:27 GMT -5
Hello and Welcome,
Spending the extra effort to get your house up to your standard will pay off in the long run. I hope you will stay up and work on it. You will be tired the next day for sure .. but it is so worth it!
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Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Aug 12, 2022 16:51:28 GMT -5
I agree with what the others have said. With rents sky high in Phoenix you will have no problem renting out rooms. I am on Next Door and see people asking about rentals all the time. Keep working!! Power through!
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