anothersun
New Member
Joined: December 2022
Posts: 3
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Post by anothersun on Dec 11, 2022 10:07:09 GMT -5
Hello I found this site yesterday evening after hitting rock bottom. I'm chronically depressed, lack motivation and often feel like the world hates me whenever something good happens as its followed by something bad and stressful such as this event.
Yesterday morning while I was trying to sleep my apartment management called me to tell me my neighbors were getting bugs through the walls. To make matters worse those same neighbors came and banged and pounded on my door scaring me and causing me great anxiety.
Later the police came by to do a wellness check because my neighbors called saying they hadn't seen me in awhile and were getting maggots through the wall.
I know my apartment is dirty and gross and doesn't smell good, I know I have roaches and gnats. I just don't know where or how to start, when I've reached out for help I've been given a sure I'll send resources and yet I've never gotten them. I know this is my fault.
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Post by sillycanuck on Dec 11, 2022 11:14:20 GMT -5
 Welcome to the site. Ask questions, lots of advice/support here. Start with removing smelly trash the change-- will make a ton of difference.  |
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Post by Sapphire on Dec 11, 2022 12:26:46 GMT -5
Hello and welcome, anothersun. You are not alone. So many of us here have similar stories to tell. I, myself, have flies and even rodents! My house is disgusting, but I am working to get it sorted! You're in the right place to get the support you need. Firstly, this NOT your fault! No more than cancer is someone's fault! This is a recognised mental illness and we have to fight it just as we would any other illness. The best advice I can give right now, is take a small bag (or big!) and just fill it with any rubbish you can see. Once you have filled one bag and get it out of the house, you will feel better! You will have achieved something and that will give you the boost you need to keep going. That accomplishment is motivating. A phrase we recognise here is "Action leads to motivation". It's true! Don't think for one second you can do it all in one go. Just don't think that way. There is no right method for everyone. You might like to get stuck in and do a whole day or just a whole hour in one go. You might find that just using ad breaks in a tv programme works for you. Maybe doing 5 mins at the top of every hour. Perhaps picking up only when you go to the loo. The point is, you must find what works for you as that's the only way you'll be able to continue. Use the work along threads on Listzilla (on here) such as Working In Threes or Weekday Workalong. You can share your progress and get a boost of support from others doing the same. Good luck! You can do this. We're all in this together! |
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Post by outfromundah on Dec 12, 2022 1:36:41 GMT -5
Welcome, anothersun. This is a great community of people who understand your challenges. We're here to help each other. Keep coming back and post about whatever you feel needs addressing. As for where or how to start, it's generally recommended to start with obvious trash, as the others have said. Just go through your apartment with a trash bag in hand and fill it. You don't have to think about whether or not to throw away trash, right? That's why it's a great place to start. And it is important to take it out as soon as you can - don't let a bag of garbage sit inside for too long or it will become part of the landscape. Even clearing one small corner will make a difference. You can do it, a little at a time.
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anothersun
New Member
Joined: December 2022
Posts: 3
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Post by anothersun on Dec 12, 2022 11:22:52 GMT -5
So since receiving notification from the management office I've been scared and trying to clean. I took several bags of trash out and started a bug bomb, however I've been chased away by a hostile neighbor. I'm not quite sure how to handle this, I know and understand and accept I need to clean but if your following me and questing me and making me feel unsafe how can I do what's wanted?
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Post by outfromundah on Dec 12, 2022 13:13:34 GMT -5
So since receiving notification from the management office I've been scared and trying to clean. I took several bags of trash out and started a bug bomb, however I've been chased away by a hostile neighbor. I'm not quite sure how to handle this, I know and understand and accept I need to clean but if your following me and questing me and making me feel unsafe how can I do what's wanted?
Can you give us more details so we can suggest options that could help you?
One thing I used to do when I lived in NYC was to take my trash out at night, so there was less chance of being observed.
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anothersun
New Member
Joined: December 2022
Posts: 3
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Post by anothersun on Dec 12, 2022 19:29:07 GMT -5
Last night I was taking trash out as I was to embarrassed to do it during the day and though cover of darkness would help. As I was taking some bags out the neighbor who is having the issue came out after me and followed me while asking what is wrong with me and other things. After I threw my trash away I fled as I was both scared and embarrassed.
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Post by itsybitsy on Dec 12, 2022 21:36:23 GMT -5
welcome anothersun. I just wanted to stop by to offer some encouragement. You were brave to continue to the garbage bin area and throw your bags out. Good for you! I can understand you were both scared and embarrassed. Shame on your neighbor! By the way, when we "like" your post, it's the only response we have. Here on SooS it can often mean - I read your post. I'm supportive of you, even if the post describes some awful things, like your neighbor following you. It's our way of saying we care. Keep going and don't let anyone scare you off. You are doing a good thing with the clean-up. |
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Post by papermoon on Dec 12, 2022 22:10:22 GMT -5
There's a saying... "The only way out is through."
It's especially true for cleaning up any mess. We may try go around it, or ignore it, or hide from it. But ultimately we have to go through it in order to make things right.
Big congratulations on taking the first important steps! Taking out the trash is the very best way to start. Keep doing it as you go along. Even if your neighbor is driving you nuts, keep at it.
Maybe try looking at it this way... your neighbor is part of the problem, so every step you take to clean up your home, helps to eliminate the neighbor problem, too. Yay!
Communication is important, too, and the time will come when you feel strong enough for that. But right now, action is the most important thing. Clearing out the trash is a powerful action that shows you're aware and you're on it.
This wonderful community is here for you whenever you need a rest, or whenever you need advice and encouragement, or just a place to vent. We are here to support you.
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Post by def6 on Dec 12, 2022 23:38:13 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now anothersun I also think getting rid of as much trash as you can will be a quick way to see good results fast. We are rooting for you. |
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Post by hedy on Dec 14, 2022 8:29:16 GMT -5
So since receiving notification from the management office I've been scared and trying to clean. I took several bags of trash out and started a bug bomb, however I've been chased away by a hostile neighbor. I'm not quite sure how to handle this, I know and understand and accept I need to clean but if your following me and questing me and making me feel unsafe how can I do what's wanted? I don't know how helpful (if at all) this will be, but try and act as happy as possible when you are taking the trash outside - as if you were having fun (and getting trash out of your life IS fun, after all): head up, BEAMING smile if you meet someone; whistling happily also helps.  In my experience, people (especially weak people) will go after you if you act guilty and/or scared - and vice versa. Whatever approach you take, just keep going. Keep going. Even if it is by baby steps, KEEP GOING. The best of luck!
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Post by joyinvirginia on Dec 14, 2022 14:06:18 GMT -5
Welcome anothersun. I hope you post again to let us know how you are doing.
Taking out trash is an important first step, and ongoing maintenance task. If taking out big bags is hard for you, try using smaller bags. I use 13 gallon size trash bags, and also smaller plastic bags that groceries are packed in. I'm short and can't manage any larger bags than the 13 gallon size, those are easy for me to handle.
Plain white vinegar is good for cleaning, I also like Windex window cleaning spray, it works great on countertops and stainless steel. Also the ammonia in it will help kill bugs!
Best wishes to you.
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Post by Nael_C on Dec 24, 2022 13:47:15 GMT -5
Welcome anothersun! I am sorry you have been feeling bad and lacking motivation. And I'm sorry they called the police. It was great that you managed to throw trash out and don't let that strange neighbor get to you with his questions! You need to do what you need to do, and his curiosity please don't let it stop you from helping yourself get out of the current situation. There will always be people who are rude, careless and insensitive, let's not give them more space than they deserve. I understood when you talked about the night, the dark outside helps me too when I want to get rid of things. If it helps you, do it they way it helps you. |
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ggma
New Member
Joined: April 2019
Posts: 5 
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Post by ggma on Jan 11, 2023 23:41:06 GMT -5
My advice? Get rid of garbage , that is what draws the bugs. I’m not talking about crumpled papers or empty toilet papers rolls.
I’m talking nasty smelly garbage. Don’t worry about recycling separation right now. If it’s a dirty can throw it in with the garbage.
Wash all your dishes
Clean your toilet.
Even if that takes a week or two it will be ok.
Those are the main things. Otherwise you can take your time with everything else.
Hang in there. If I got through , anyone can!
Hugs,
Grammea(Helen)
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Post by gunnachange on Mar 6, 2023 17:26:23 GMT -5
Welcome to the place where you can get past these troubles,with the help of others who are working through their own version of your story. I drift in and out of squalour as life throws me curve balls. But I come back here, and am given a sense of hope, and a feeling that I can get through it again, and each time, learn a little, which helps to keep the feeling of abject failure at bay. Sending you love and strength for your task,from my point of having to start again....and again.... gaining the ability to do so with the support of the wonderful humans on this forum. Gunnachange....e  ven if I have to keep doing it! |
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