marg
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 3
|
Post by marg on Jan 1, 2023 17:27:27 GMT -5
Hello all. Today I worked on a storage unit I haven't touched in probably 10 years. I found two egg crates of books that are really important emotionally. They are likely ruined. I'm crying over the loss, ashamed/self-hate that "I never take care of stuff", and just want to crawl in bed for another 10 years.
Just needed to tell people who get it.
|
|
|
|
Post by desposito on Jan 1, 2023 18:20:19 GMT -5
Hi marg, I'm probably the biggest book lover on this site (at least, I'm the person who has talked the most about my books and my efforts to pare them down) so I do understand.
But try to look at this way--if you haven't seen the books in 10 years, then they were only alive in your memory anyway--you can still feel the emotions you had for the books and whatever connections they had for you in your mind and heart, even though you don't have the actual books.
It's great that you're going through an old storage unit, don't let this derail you from your efforts. Many people here can sympathize, and many people here are working to change their homes and lives, you can too! Please join some threads and keep posting, it helps a lot to work alongside other people that are going through the same thing.
Diane
|
|
|
|
Post by Nael_C on Jan 1, 2023 18:45:16 GMT -5
Hello marg! Yes, I do get you. Lots of people here get you, as we get attached to different categories of things. Yours is books. I would agree with desposito, and maybe this can help you. If it were really emotionally important, why would they be left untouched for 1O years? Maybe they mean more in your mind, than in real life, like they were a symbol for years past? Please don't let this get to you, and continue with your effort to make a difference, we are rooting for you! Congrats on going through this storage unit! |
|
|
|
Post by mylittlescholar on Jan 1, 2023 20:12:40 GMT -5
welcome to the site! yup, we get it. there can be a lot to grieve in the process of changing our patterns. But that's okay. we can grieve and keep going. glad you found us.
|
|
|
|
Post by outfromundah on Jan 1, 2023 20:48:43 GMT -5
Dear Marg,
Hating yourself, shaming yourself, and scolding yourself will not change what happened and will only make you feel worse. If you can acknowledge what the circumstance is for you right now, without being so hard on yourself, you will be much better off. Okay, so you considered those books to be special to you, but they haven't been touched for a long time and might be ruined now. That is the reality of the situation. It doesn't mean you are a horrible person.
You did the best you could, with the resources you had at the time, when you stored them. It seems to me that you went back to deal with them when you felt ready. Feel whatever disappointment comes up over their condition, but then let it go and accept what happened. All you can do now is see if any of your books are salvageable, save what you can, let go of the ruined ones, and continue purging and working on your storage unit. You are okay, you did not hurt anyone, the world is still turning, and things will look brighter if you stop punishing yourself. You have tasks ahead and you are a capable person. You can handle what is in front of you right now. It will be alright. We're here for you.
|
|
|
|
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 1, 2023 20:59:38 GMT -5
marg, Welcome to our community. I'm glad you are here and shared your thoughts. I fully understand shedding tears, the shame, the self loathing and have experienced all of these on so many occasions of trying to get my clutter under control. Please know that you are not alone.
|
|
marg
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 3
|
Post by marg on Jan 1, 2023 23:26:21 GMT -5
I appreciate the validation and will indeed keep working on my physical and emotional squalor. Part of the grief is LOTS of books are in boxes scattered throughout my life. I assumed these ones were safely buried somewhere inside the house but were in a crappy storage unit getting mouldy.
|
|
|
|
Post by papermoon on Jan 1, 2023 23:39:59 GMT -5
I am a book lover and book collector, and I completely understand your grief over this sad loss. I know it's hard to cope with, and I'm so sorry.
Last year, my storage unit suffered a catastrophic flood, and hundreds of precious books were ruined. I was in shock, but had to work fast in shock mode to save whatever I could. Many losses were rare first editions, some were personally inscribed to me. My attachments were deep, but I had to let them go or I would make myself crazy with grief and guilt. The mold from the dampness was invading other things in the storage unit, so I had to swiftly dump the books and never look back... just look forward to securing the rest of my precious things in a safer place.
I hope you'll be able to find better storage soon for the remaining things that are within your power to make safe and secure.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arid on Jan 4, 2023 4:13:25 GMT -5
Hi, marg!
Several years ago, due to a leaking air-conditioning unit, *lots* of my son's books from his childhood were ruined. I saved the ones that I could, and I made a list of the ones that I had to discard.
As it turned out, **I** was the one upset about the loss of the books--my son, . . . not at all!!
I was stunned by his lack of interest; when he was growing up, he read these particular books over and over again. Therefore, I was expecting that he would have some regrets. However, as a young adult living in a condo with limited space, he has no interest in "hanging on" to such things. **I'm** the one with the problem of having sentimental attachments to things!
As others have said, welcome to the board.
Arid
P. S. I *still* recommend that you make a list of the books that have been ruined--unless that would make you sadder, that is. With a list, you can be "on the look out" for replacements that might come your way. A.
|
|
|
|
Post by notanotherdecade on Jan 4, 2023 5:30:52 GMT -5
"boxes scattered throughout my life" wow, you have the quote of the century ❤️ We are living with a life time of habits and accumulations and regrets The grief is as much about the ruin of stuff that rots or gets trodden on or kept so long that it no longer helps our lives➡️as it is about the regrets of what we have DONE to our lives Big Hugs💟 Those moments of reflection hurt . It takes courage to pick yourself up and carry on.
Well done for braving the storage unit. It's hard to accept that old favourites are destroyed..
((someone else suggested making a note of what books you had, there will be pictures from many of your favourite books on the internet to look at again, and now you can decide which of the texts would you ACTIVELY seek out to buy?? Probably a lot less than the books you would have been tempted to keep
Good luck with the clear out, I imagine it's going to be a big job to fight your way to the back of the storage unit
|
|
|
|
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 5, 2023 14:58:57 GMT -5
I, too, send Big Hugs to marg, Arid, papermoon, and notanotherdecade. notanotherdecade, I appreciate your advice: ((someone else suggested making a note of what books you had, there will be pictures from many of your favourite books on the internet to look at again, and now you can decide which of the texts would you ACTIVELY seek out to buy?? Probably a lot less than the books you would have been tempted to keep |
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Jan 6, 2023 16:06:51 GMT -5
Welcome marg! Yes, I am a member of the books in a box club! I know the disappointment of finding that books you were keeping have mold, or silverfish and other bugs, or are simply falling apart. Currently have boxes of books from a clean out, that I am slowly donating to library, thrift stores, or putting in little free libraries. I rarely buy books now, instead I use the library often.
|
|
