ggma
New Member
Joined: April 2019
Posts: 14 
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Post by ggma on May 21, 2024 21:54:32 GMT -5
How’s that for a title?
It’s all true, every last word. I’ve been here on and off for almost 10 years I think.
I need your help friends.
Here’s the basics
I’m 67 years old and have severe arthritis in my knees and shoulders and psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia and depression.
The positive is I live in a tiny cottage in a retirement community where my outside maintenance is totally taken care of. It’s the cutest thing.
I have a large living room, fairly large bedroom, a decent sized dining area and a teeny tiny postage stamp kitchen.
I have 6, count ‘em 6 closets though none is very big.
One of the reasons my place and others like it have so many closets is there is no basement or attic storage.
Ok, here’s my problem. I can’t get organized and I don’t have the energy to clean.
I can get some help and Ibplan to look into that but even if I do, it’s mostly running errands and very light housekeeping.
I want to enjoy this time of my life, tending a little container garden, reading, learning to quilt and spending time with my grandchildren.
My kids do quite a bit and once in awhile my youngest daughter comes over and does a thorough clean.
It goes right back to where it was.
I need to streamline things , declutter, clean and organize.
Oh and we have a laundry room in the community room about a quarter block away and I do my own laundry.
I also have an old and sometimes incontinent dachshund who Inout down pee pads for.
Please no suggestions about getting rid of him, that will NEVER happen!
I don’t have a lot of money but my bills are paid.
I’m turning to you friends because you are the only ones who can understand and help.
Please! I need your tips and suggestions and ideas and just everything no matter how small it may seem to you.
Thank you all in advance and God bless.
Oh and as I said my kids help as much as they can but they all work hard and I want/need to do this
Hugs and God bless,
Helen grammea
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Post by joyinvirginia on May 21, 2024 23:28:47 GMT -5
Hi Helen! I want to say hello! I will think about any advice to share, and as to this post tomorrow.
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Post by Arid on May 22, 2024 2:22:10 GMT -5
Your name is familiar to me! Welcome back!!
I swear by the three Ds: dinner, dishes, and duds. When I manage to keep up with those daily, life goes reasonably well.
Also, when I feel particularly "stuck," I say to myself, "When all else fails, do the obvious!" In other words, if someone were to arrive unexpectedly (and I *had* to allow them into the house!), what would he or she notice first? Would it be that every flat surface is covered with items and/or dust? Would it be that there is no place to sit because every chair and/or sofa is covered with things? Would it be that he or she couldn't walk through the room without having to step on or over something? Looking at things through a different set of eyes, so to speak, can help one set priorities when it comes to dealing with a big mess.
I think that, in spite of your title for this thread, you have a good attitude! You sound as if you are *ready* to tackle the problems head-on, and that can make a *world* of difference.
Again, welcome back!
Best wishes,
Arid
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Post by phoenixcat on May 22, 2024 11:22:36 GMT -5
Hi Helen  I was thinking that Arid needed to include a 4th daily D for you - dachshund! I grew up with them and they are just the sweetest, most precious pups. So this sort of sounds like your "forever" home or at least you aren't planning to "grow" your space anytime. I've downsized my mother twice - 1) from her large farmhouse to a retirement apartment and 2) from the apartment into a bedroom/bathroom in our home. I've downsized my FOL (feisty old lady) twice as well from her large two story plus full basement home into a retirement apartment and then into an assisted living apartment. Just a few tips that may help.. 1) If you qualify or can afford supportive help - SIGN UP! Even things like putting on sheets can be a struggle with your health conditions. My aunt had someone a few hours twice a month and she always had her help with laundry. Note: most social agency workers are reluctant to clean clutter because they are scared of breaking anything. 2) But if you do have family members that can help - kids, grandkids - space them out. I'm sure they are all very busy but maybe if 2 or 3 can help you once a month - you would have some basic help with the more challenging things most weeks a month. One thing that was always an issue was "getting stuff out". Whenever anyone visits that is more able than you, have something ready for them to "take away" - donations, etc. Maybe keep a dry erase board with "helpful tasks" on your fridge for family/able bodied friends. You can write down things as you think of them. My FOL did that - she always had an old envelope with things to remember on it for her next visitor.  Things like after Thanksgiving - your next visitors could pull out your Christmas decorations. 3) Whatever you can do to maximize storage - go for it. If you have a coffee table or end tables - could you swap them out for storage ones - excellent place to put photo albums. Move linens to under bed bins assuming you can access them or if you have help making your bed - that your worker can access them. If you have a porch or balcony for your container gardening - can you get an end table with storage for your gardening supplies? My DM couldn't lift her arm high to access a closet rod. I got her some rods that were four cubbies with a lower rod handing underneath which worked well with shirts/pants/skirts. If you have lots of "sitting around items" - how much can go on the walls with shadow boxes or hanging plate/bowl hangers? Could you find a large glass cabinet or book case to display it all in one place? 4) With six closets - assign them a storage function and then based on it - maximize the storage. DM had a double door closet in her entry way. I put in two 3 shelf units that each held 9 fabric bins. I put a note on the outside of each bin with what they held that she wanted to keep around - tools, paper plates/napkins, wrapping paper, speciality baking supplies like cookie cutters, etc. 5) Evaluate your closets for not what they hold now but how you can maximize each one for your storage. For example, since you have a tiny kitchen - can the closet closest to the kitchen be designated for all related overflow - food pantry, occasional use cooking/baking supplies? An organizer used to describe the kitchen as "prime real estate" - the things you use daily should be the easiest to access.  Can the closet that will always require assistance due to orientation or location - can it be your seasonal stuff or rarely used stuff that you know you will require help? Can you maximize your clothes closet for double rods and hanging cubbies? Can one closet be outfitted for your hobbies maybe even a space for a roll away cart that can be put away when you are tidying up? 6) My last tip is the hardest.  . Keep what is realistic for you and your health conditions. Have you passed the mantle on for entertaining large groups to your children? Then if you are keeping many or big dishes or lots of holiday decorating items - pass them on as well. If you have grandkid sleep overs - have the parents provide the sleeping bags and air mattresses. If you want to quilt but you are storing skeins of yarn for a former crochet hobby - probably someone in your community would love to get them. These are just examples but the main point is not storing things you can't or won't use anymore which is creating issues on storing the things you do enjoy. Such an exciting time of life for you! Sounds like you have the potential to make your home a "real jewel box" as Script would say. Looking forward to hearing all about it! Sending hugs - and with everything else around here - regarding my comments - take what is useful and discard the rest.  PC |
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Post by Arid on May 22, 2024 14:14:39 GMT -5
WOW, phoenixcat! What a *great* post!!
The advice that you've given is **perfect** for each and every one of us.
Well done!!
Arid
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Post by def6 on May 22, 2024 16:29:00 GMT -5
Hello ggma I think it is wonderful that someone can come in and do errands and light house clean. I would certainly sign up for that if it is available to you. Also, it is very good of your daughter to help her mother with a deep clean. I hope you allow her to continue to honor you in this way . As far as doing work I would find a way to streamline or lighten the load. You could place stickers on items that need to go, instead of moving them yourself. Maybe there is a handyman that can lift heavy stuff for you. For decluttering, start out very small 5 minutes. In your day to day , you may need to write down the things to gather for donation instead of being the one to bag them or box them. Also , you may want to try water aerobics class if possible. I think that would cut down on pain and anxious feelings. Best of Luck to you!!  |
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Post by catcats on May 22, 2024 23:31:12 GMT -5
I remember you, Helen. Sorry you are having some problems now. I agree with Arid that the dinner, dishes, duds approach works well. At the end of the day, even if pain or fatigue prevents much else from happening, the place won't fall apart too much if those get done. Also keeping up with trash removal is key. In your case, doggy care is , of course, an everyday thing. In mine, it is feed the cats, water them, and clean the cat pans each day too. I clean in small spurts a lot. Instead of trying to clean the whole BR , I will scrub or soak the toilet bowl when I am there. Or clean out the sink. Another time, I may use a Clorox wipe on the grab bars & around the light switch---things like that. It never seems like I am cleaning it, but it never gets really dirty either. I do like a clean bathroom. I make the bed soon after I get up and I try to always hang up robes, and clothes I will wear again. The old saying here about ETE--eliminate the evidence--is a big help to me. So if I write checks, better to put the checkbook, etc. away. And so on with most other things. If I vacuum, I put it away. I did NOT always do those things,  . PC had a bunch of really good ideas, and others too. Good luck. catcats |
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Post by Nael_C on May 23, 2024 5:12:30 GMT -5
Hello Helen and welcome back to the forum! I'm sorry you have been facing health problems, that must be hard to deal with, but congrats on reaching for help to face your everyday struggles with housekeeping! We are rooting for you!  |
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ggma
New Member
Joined: April 2019
Posts: 14
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Post by ggma on May 24, 2024 4:10:04 GMT -5
Thank you ladies!
You’ve all been so helpful!
One thing I have figured out that will help:
Once all my dishes are done and my postage stamp kitchen clean, I will take one plate, one bowl, one glass, one cup and one set of cutlery and put it in the most convenient cabinet.
That will be the things I use daily. If my plate is dirty , I’ll just have to wash it in order to use it again.
I’m loving your tips and suggestions. Please keep ‘em coming.
I will update you on my progress.
I’ve missed you all!
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Post by def6 on May 25, 2024 20:51:06 GMT -5
Flylady's swish n' swipe of the bathroom has helped me tremendously . My bathroom is never dirty now and I don't spend hours scrubbing.  |
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Post by bree on May 26, 2024 12:12:35 GMT -5
I love the eliminate the evidence. I don't do that enough! I use my dining room table for my work at home days as a desk, and I just tend to leave it out. after reading catcats post, I am now ETE! I struggle with paper and this is not the best idea but...I used to think I had to leave stuff out until I was going to perfectly put it away. now with my papers, I sometimes use one of those cloth grocery store bags to put all the paper in there and it so improves the look of my over used little dining room. I have a shredder in a corner of the dining room that I use just about daily as I try to keep paper clutter at bay. I am pretty good now, but I have years !!! of over filing to get rid of. |
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ggma
New Member
Joined: April 2019
Posts: 14
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Post by ggma on Jun 8, 2024 17:38:34 GMT -5
Another connection for my situation is my mind is as cluttered and chaotic as my home.
So which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
Do I work on one to the exclusion of the other?
But I just know I can’t live like this anymore!
Encouragement please?
Hugs and God bless,
Helen(grammea)
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 8, 2024 18:59:57 GMT -5
Another connection for my situation is my mind is as cluttered and chaotic as my home. So which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Do I work on one to the exclusion of the other?
So I wouldn't think too much about the chicken-egg question. It's a system or a circle or something, but the environment affects the human and the human affects the environment, and the best way to tweak the environment is with your and SOS people's ideas, and with actions from you or your hired help and loved ones.
🐣 🐓 🔁
In figuring out what to do next after the 3 Ds, I'd ask yourself 1) what is bothering you most or 2) what physically gets in your way or 3) what is a time and energy sink that could be addressed. You might also keep a running list of things that can be dealt with by your younger, stronger people.
Mind: Start with always being kind to yourself and getting enough sleep. Environment: Do your best to keep up with regular tasks, and think about what objects you could declutter and put them in donation boxes. You can make your life a bit better each day.
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Post by seashell on Jun 9, 2024 9:19:49 GMT -5
Hi. I don't have any advice, and goldenthreads has given you a great post. I just want to encourage you to do little, tiny bits at a time. My apartment is a huge mess, and I am constantly overwhelmed. Today's goal is to clear off the coffee table, which is piled up about a foot high. I am going to remove five things at a time and toss or put them near where they belong. Maybe something like that would help you? I know it's going to take a long time. I suffer from what is probably fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, and depression. I know this can be done--people on this forum have proven it. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I am reading your posts and that I care about you. seashell |
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Post by 123jake on Jul 23, 2024 1:42:45 GMT -5
Brilliant post Phoenix! Really got me thinking! Thank you!
Goldenthreads: I’ve taken that philosophy myself: do a little each day to make my life better. On the days I actually do something ANYTHING) I feel so much better.
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