Went out for another three hours, and here's what happened:
Me: *attacks back yard with a vengeance*
Insects: "GENOCIDE! APOCALYPSE! AIEEE!" *insect diaspora ensues*
June Bug: "OMGWTF! CRAZY WOMAN!" *burrows back into the ground*
Earwigs: *come forth from the ground like a freaking tidal wave of exoskeletons and pincers and antennae*
Me: "Eww..." *continues weeding*
Large But Pretty Weed: "What are you DOING?!?"
Me: "I am weeding."
LBPW: "You don't want to uproot me!"
Me: "Oh, but I do."
LBPW: "No no no! I'm a tomato plant!"
Me: "No, you're not."
LBPW: "But I have a pretty yellow flower, just like a tomato plant, see?"
Me: "You're not a tomato plant."
LBPW: "How about you pretend I am?"
Me: "You're choking my actual tomato plant."
LBPW: "You could pretend you didn't see me. I'll make it worth your while!"
Me: "Are you going to provide lots of tomatoes at the end of the summer?"
LBPW: "Uh... maybe?"
Me: "Yeah. Didn't think so. Are you, in fact, going to deprive me of tomatoes by choking my tomato plant?"
LBPW: "..."
Me: "That's what I thought." *uproots the weed*
I have made great strides in the garden in the last three hours. The weeding is about 90% done, all but the very last raised bed, because I ran out of energy. I am going to have a cold drink and a rest before heading back out there. I may even have a snack, because I am now starving.
I also have clippings and cuttings and dirt EVERYWHERE which I have to clean up. Eesh. I am determined to get it done, however. I am tired of the garden looking like the wrath of God once He fired all the gardeners from Eden.
~Mouse
