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Post by chakraverte on Jul 13, 2009 9:46:43 GMT -5
1) Where does your username come from?2) How has it helped you "step out of squalor"?3) When you "desqualor", will you change your username to celebrate?4) Does your name positively reinforce you? If so, how? If not, how can you reframe it to be supportive to your process?Its been a long road for me. Bipolar disorder that was undiagnosed for years. Abuse. Trauma. Deaths of those I loved. Major depressions...living in dangerous neighborhoods where my clutter could go un-noticed. And now, I'm the same person, but healthier. Maybe a lot of this sounds hoity-toity, but I guess from living in clutter for so long, I started to be in my head a lot. 1) Here's my take on it... Chakra -- energy center in yogic thought Verte = green Green chakra is the one over the heart -- being able to love, accept love etc. (it's also a play on introvert/extrovert/chakravert) I am introverted or extraverted depending on where my chakras are/how open receptive I'm feeling. I realized a while back that my clutter was my way of testing the love of those around me. I didn't think I "deserved" love. I didn't really believe that I deserved to live in a clean orderly house. (This is the total Cliff Notes version) Anyway, when I came to realize that those two things were related, and that I really did honestly deserve to love myself, and to have others love me, it became much easier to get rid of "stuff". I think a lot of the recent research on Hoarding Cluttering says the same thing. One of the reasons some people hoard is to to feel safe. We worry that there won't be enough of US to love, so we try to anchor ourselves with objects. As I realize that I have the RIGHT to be loved (even by myself) -- it has been MUCH easier to let things go. I found that purging objects became so much easier once I realized that I really didn't need them. I am "enough". I'm still struggling with this. A good book you get get (from the library, so you don't add to your clutter ) is Eastern Body, Western Mind. Right now, my copy is under the pile of unsorted crap in my bedroom, or I'd tell you the author. *oops* (as I said, I'm still working on this). Anyway, the author talks about the different chakras, and what rights/etc they represent. She maps the chakra system onto the western psych ideas by Maslow, Freud, and other developmental systems. I've really found that for me, I needed to understand WHY i was doing things. If you've ever watched Clean Sweep with Peter Walsh, you see what a difference that makes. You know when he says "This thing [in that adorable NZ accent] is NOT your mother. It is a thing. Let's either honor her and put it somewhere you can see it -- or get rid of it." I needed to work on understanding WHERE all of this comes from (Peter Walsh's book). I needed to understand how to deal with the feelings of getting rid of something (Frost and Gillspies Buried in Treasure). I needed to find a future direction to live for (Julie Morgenstern calls it a "theme" When Organizing Isn't Enough SHED) And, I needed to understand the physical effect it was having on my body (eastern body, western mind) Pretty much, my process has been to get rid of what I can, and then when I get to a place that I can't do any more, or feel stuck, I flip through and find something that makes sense. I still haven't read all of ANY of those books, but I've been able to make enough progress by the "one or two songs at a time" approach. 2) How has it helped you "step out of squalor"?It keeps me focused that to love myself, I deserve a clean space. There is room for me in here. I don't need all the extra "stuff" 3) When you "desqualor", will you change your username to celebrate?No, because I think desqualoring will always be a process that I'm a part of. Maybe if I had picked a name when I was 4 rooms to the ceiling of stuff, I would have. When I joined the boards, I was a bit more at peace with the process. 4) Does your name positively reinforce you? If so, how? If not, how can you reframe it to be supportive to your process?I almost picked a name that focused on the negative. But then I realized that I am trying to STOP being the messy one. So I picked a name truly about being kind to myself. Anyone else care to share?
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Post by mouse on Jul 13, 2009 11:19:28 GMT -5
Chakraverte, I was just perusing the forums and thinking what an interesting username you had: it's like you read my mind! Anyway, here's the reasoning behind my username: I go by a different but similar username on most other internet forums. I changed it slightly in order to protect my identity, because, well, squalor is not exactly something I care to advertise to the people who know me, IRL or online apart from here. It's not a facet of my life that I am proud of, and I'd rather people didn't know about. The funny thing about my other username is that, while it has nothing to do with mice, a lot of people actually think it's a variation on the word "mouse." So what better way for me to remember my username here than to go with what people always think it is anyway? I've always liked mice. Rodents in general, really. I had hamsters when I was a child and a teenager, and I've always found them to be pretty congenial, overall. Mice have a bad rep, because they're vermin and they do carry disease. However, they are also useful little critters in their own way. I can also identify with mice in many ways: 1) They like to have cozy nests, lined with all sorts of comfortable things. I am very much like this: I like having my "nest" be comfortable and welcoming. 2) Mice are all about keeping things "just in case." They grab stuff that might seem useful and stuff it in a corner for future use. I don't hoard things as badly as I might, but I have a lot of trouble letting go of things that are broken or that I don't otherwise use, because "I might need it some day." I've gotten better at this, but it's still a struggle sometimes. 3) Mice are unobtrusive. People don't notice mice, and I've always had this weird *thing* where people don't seem to know that I'm there. It used to bother me a lot that people treated me as though I was invisible, but I've since come to the realization that not being noticed has its advantages, so I don't mind nearly as much anymore. 4) As a child, my favourite book was Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, and the movie The Secret of NIMH was also a favourite. I loved Mrs. Frisby (her name is Brisby in the movie), and I've always wanted to be like her in a way. Anyway, I am not planning on changing my username, although I have mostly overcome my squalor. Mice have as many positive associations for me as they do negative ones. I identify a lot with mice, and the name will also serve to remind me of the way things used to be so that I'm not tempted to let things slide again. Thanks for the interesting question! ~Mouse
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Post by Script on Jul 13, 2009 12:26:22 GMT -5
My user-name "Script" is short for "Scriptorium". This is a latin word, meaning the place in a monastery where monks write or do copying/manuscript illuminating/book stuff.
When I joined Squalor Survivors, Oct'04, I had never been in an on-line community before. I didn't want to use my family nick-name ("auntie duck") because I was shy. But the DUCK is now echoed in my beloved avatar.
When I began writing seriously (Dec 1988), my brother nicknamed my home office The Scriptorium, a funny-old-fashioned word that suits me so well! I have a love of old things (I still read Chaucer in the original), and have studied Early Music seriously forover thirty years (mediaeval, renaissance, baroque). I enjoy having a nickname that reflects my interests.
I am immensely proud of the writing work I have done in my Scriptorium (4 books; major translations; articles; short reflections). Nothing, but nothing, can ever take away the joy I have felt in these creations. So, my user-name is very positive to me.
The more I have WORKED THROUGH my emotions (journalling, writing, creating anything) the more I have been able to declutter: both physically and otherwise....
I am very glad I did NOT pick a nickname that reflects the sadder side of my reality (depression, anxiety, financial squalor etc). Once back at the old board, I went through a momentary madness, wanting a more glamorous avatar: not that silly old duck. I changed to a butterfly. YIKES! a huge outcry of disappointment from others: people seem to identify me with that dopey duck. Which isn't all that crazy, as I am called Auntie Duck by lots of people. Actually, I am Great Auntie Duck~~~~~
I know that I am at the older end of our membership spectrum, but my user-name and avatar reflect the childlike aspects of my self.
Although I did a considerable amount of amateur drama in my university days, my name SCRIPT really doesn't relate to the theatre . Except insofar as I can act a little crazy in this more-or-less anonymous universe of the web: this is very freeing for me. Onwards to the next act in this ongoing Theatre of the Absurd that is my one-and-only-wild-and-crazy-life.
xxoo
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Post by messymimi on Jul 13, 2009 12:47:58 GMT -5
Mimi is my inner child. Like so many children, she is just plain messy. She likes the name, and likes to be called Miss Mimi when she is behaving.
The name keeps me focused on the fact that if I act like a child and don't clean up after myself and do the things I should, I will continue to live this way.
I will not be changing the name. The tendency toward a love of making messes seems to be a part of who my inner child really is (I would come home filthy from playing in the mud with bugs when I was in preschool).
The name is a reminder to try to rein in, and keep control of, this part of myself.
Thanks for bringing up the subject.
messymimi
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Post by breakingfree on Jul 13, 2009 13:00:14 GMT -5
My name is breakingfree because even though I am in maintenance this is a lifelong journey. I wanted my name to be positive, yet acknowledging that I am by no means "cured."
BF
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 13, 2009 13:12:01 GMT -5
Blackswan is a name that I have used for about four years now, in other online communities. It originally came from a song that I liked. But I like the idea of knowing that even though the black swan is different from all of the other swans, it is still beautiful. But it is unique. You just need to get to know it, learn how to understand it.
I feel like I have been learning how to understand myself, underneath all of the squalor issues and depression and all that, and finding the beauty within. It has helped me in overcoming squalor, both physical and mental because it has helped me to find acceptance and love for myself, and forgiveness.
I won't ever change my username. It is MY name, I've come to identify with it nearly as much as my real name.
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Post by puppybox on Jul 13, 2009 13:18:47 GMT -5
I am puppybox becasue I found my puppy in a box.
(In an empty lot, with the rest of the litter, I took 1, we set the rest all free (its a country where there are a lot of streetdogs) but the pound came and caught them a little while later. I'm sure they did not meet a happy ending. Mine is 4 years old now and would no longer fit in a box. She did fit in an airline crate when I brought her back to Montreal with me. (from Taiwan). she is weird, more like my spirit guide than a dog. I now have another dog too, who is very different, very doggy.
nothing to do with squalor.
Dogs give me joy.
It was the best thing I've ever ever done. I was so depressed I wanted to die except who would take care of my doggy? ( I had no friends).
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Post by eagle on Jul 13, 2009 14:30:12 GMT -5
eagle comes from within myself. It is my totem, my personal symbol.
2. Attributes of the eagle as my personal symbol include determination, strength, focus, inspiration, all of which contribute to a path out of squalor.
3. My name will always be eagle, as it is inherent in my personality.
4. Absolutely.
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Post by southerngirl on Jul 13, 2009 17:03:40 GMT -5
This is an interesting thread! I have enjoyed reading about everyone's names. Mine is a straightforward descriptor - southern and female, but also part of my past and identity. I have a strong interest in southern culture in a more general sense -- i.e. retro roadside Americana in the south, southern food history, roots of several types of music in the south - rock, R&B, country, etc.). I see it as a positive name and not related pro- or con- to cluttering.
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Post by snailspace on Jul 13, 2009 17:21:05 GMT -5
1)Where does your username come from?
A "snail's pace" was a sort of acknowledgement of how long it takes me to get things accomplished... many big milestones came late or not at all.... many small day-to-day things take me a long time to get through... many goals have taken many years. It wasn't a self criticism, just a fact.
2)How has it helped you "step out of squalor"?
It's helpful to think that even if something takes longer, it's the accomplishment that matters. I also like the idea that snails' homes are very important to them.
3)When you "desqualor", will you change your username to celebrate?
Nope!
4)Does your name positively reinforce you? If so, how? If not, how can you reframe it to be supportive to your process?
Yes, it does. In another animal-related analogy, the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise is slow but steady. I like to think the same of my snail mascot!
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Post by sunshineshouse on Jul 13, 2009 17:53:34 GMT -5
1) Where does your username come from?My dear friend calls me Sunshine. When I was moving into my house over 10 years ago, he referred to that (and still does) as Sunshine House. It is almost an ironic name now, as it certainly isn't in any way sunshine-y! This dear friend is one of only two people who know about my squalor. He is the only one I have let inside my house in over 5 years, and only on occasions where I needed his assistance (i.e. broken oil burner). He always asks how things are going, and I know he does not understand what this whole squalor thing is about. But he does try to be supportive and offer his assistance. My name on SOS was Cleanin_Up_My_ Act, but when we moved to this site, I wanted something that wasn't related to cleaning or clutter! 2) How has it helped you "step out of squalor"?I keep the image in my mind of what "Sunshine House" used to be like, and hope it gets there again. 3) When you "desqualor", will you change your username to celebrate?No, I'm celebrating in advance ... 4) Does your name positively reinforce you? If so, how? If not, how can you reframe it to be supportive to your process?Yes, it's a positive reinforcement. Great question! I love reading these answers.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jul 13, 2009 18:23:44 GMT -5
- In April 2006, when I first joined the former forums at Squalor Survivors, I was in deep Level 4 squalor and wanted to change. I chose the username "SeekingSerenity". I chose that name because I was reminded of the 12-Step recovery concept of the Serenity Prayer. And because I sought a serene home. After a few months, I realized that I was just sitting and serenely reading the forums. But not DOING anything. I was contemplating a serene home but not doing anything to attain one. I was thinking about the Serenity Prayer: Higher Power, grant me Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. I wanted to focus more on "Courage to change". I said I wanted a username that emphasized "courage". Gals in the chatroom suggested that I choose a name that relates to the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz -- but change the "cowardly" to "courageous". I thought that was a wonderful idea! Lions are my favorite animal (and, interestingly, the chatroom members didn't know I love lions). I took the chatters' idea and changed it a bit ... I made my own odd name ... somewhat grammatically awkward. I chose to become "CourageouslyLion". (Even though "courageously" is an adverb, and "cowardly" is an adjective, I wanted the word to end in "LY"). I chose to keep my earlier username "SeekingSerenity" because most of the membership knew me by that name. So, my name officially became: "CourageouslyLion_SeekingSerenity" New name and old name working together. People laughed and smiled, because my name was so long, and somewhat cluttered. But I kept it anyhow. I wish to thank Script, who found my avatar photo. It was from a public domain photo she found on the internet. It fits me perfectly. When the former forums at Squalor Survivors closed, these forums here at Stepping Out of Squalor were opened. I tried to transfer my old Squalor Survivors name "CourageouslyLion_SeekingSerenity" over to here at SOS, but it was too long. The maximum allowable length here is 30 characters/spaces. So I chose to make my SOS name be: "CourageouslyLion_SeeksSerenity". Recently, I realized that ... my name could be interpreted as: "Courageously, the Lion seeks Serenity". (as if I were saying: "Stealthily, the Lion stalks the Zebra" or "Luxuriously, the Lion yawned and dozed in the tall grass"). I generally sign my name as "Lioness". Has this name helped me? Well, as I said above, "SeekingSerenity" wasn't enough by itself. I needed Courage, too. I do feel that the combined name has helped me a lot. I have desqualored, maintained, and relapsed -- a couple of times. It seems fitting that I would need to keep the same name, for in the 12-Step recovery communities, one says the Serenity Prayer ALL the time -- both in good times and in bad times. However, I have spend the past six months contemplating BALANCE. I am struggling to balance between all my obligations, struggles, and responsibilities. Considering that the third part of the Serenity Prayer mentions "wisdom" ... I have been feeling the real need to cultivate "Wisdom" ... on how to make appropriate choices in my life. But ... perhaps it would be "wise" to leave my name alone for now! Roar!
The above reply was written in 2009. Updating in 2012: The name still fits. So I have kept it. It still helps me. I still have the male Lion avatar -- and I'm still a female Lioness. And I'm still seeking balance in my life.
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Post by messyLlundain on Jul 13, 2009 18:29:37 GMT -5
1) Where does your username come from?Its factual. I'm messy and I live in London . 2) How has it helped you "step out of squalor"?I don't know that it has helped....(thinking)....no, it hasn't helped me. But SoS has. 3) When you "desqualor", will you change your username to celebrate?I am still in the process of desqualoring. I was thinking recently, that I chose that name too hastily. I didn't give any thought to a user name. I have considered changing it, not in celebration of starting the process of desqualoring, but because I'm now not sure about the 'messy' label. (true though it may be!) Don't know what I'd use in its place though. 'Cheery Brit', perhaps? Pahhh! No, definitely not that 4) Does your name positively reinforce you? If so, how? If not, how can you reframe it to be supportive to your process?Err, no! it doesn't.
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Post by creativechaos on Jul 13, 2009 18:33:11 GMT -5
london, i think of you more as merrylondon, funnylondon, sunnylondon, funlondon! don't know what any of those have with messes or squalor, but you make me smile and laugh so much! i picked creativechaos because i'm creative (an i believe we are all creative beings) and when i create anything; a meal, a mosaic, a garden, a poem, the process is chaotic! i wanted to acknowledge the creative, because all life is creative. the chaotic has been harder to live with, regarding squalor and having every project i touch look like big bang just happened! like mimi's inner child, chaos is part of my inner child self that loves play and happenstance. i also like chaos because of chaos theory, which i don't really understand because i'm not a mathematician or scientist, but i think chaos theory shows that although things appear 'random', they are deterministic, even though the unexpected happens all the time. life is like that. no, i won't change the name because chaos has positive connotations for me as well as the obvious meaning of random disorder, and the creative is an affirmation of the endless possibilities and solutions to most any problem. i love reading how everyone chose their names! so many of our names are perfect for us! i do like the idea that as we change ourselves and our homes, some of our names change too! thanks for starting this thread, chakraverte!
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 13, 2009 19:25:02 GMT -5
Once back at the old board, I went through a momentary madness, wanting a more glamorous avatar: not that silly old duck. I changed to a butterfly. YIKES! a huge outcry of disappointment from others: people seem to identify me with that dopey duck. Hello Script! I just wanted to tell you that your cheerful yellow duck avatar is one of my favorite avatars on this forum! I like all animals, but ducks are among my favorites. I also like a quote I heard about ducks appearing "calm on the surface but paddle hard under the water" or something like that.
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