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Post by clutterfree on Jul 16, 2009 14:51:05 GMT -5
The very first time I posted at Squalor Survivors it was one of the earliest message boards. It must have been soon after the board started, because the Kimmy thread was still going at the Morgenstern site. I think my name overwhelmed something. I don't really remember. And I was overwhelmed, too much to really stick with anything.
By the time I came back it was two years ago or so and I'd already started my journey. My mother was dead, I had kicked out the husband of 13 years, parted with the best friend who lived with me after that, and gone through about 6 months of sheer despair and hopelesslness. Then I started, and kept going. I had built momentum by the time I joined as startingover37. I thought my name was apt.
I posted a lot as I got my house squalor free. I still had a little ways to go when a couple things at the board kind of rubbed me wrong, and then it turned out it was going to stop. Not being a big fan of change, and already nearing the end of my journey, I didn't follow to this board. I wish I had, because I lost touch with some people whom I was cheering on. But I did lurk here occasionally, reading just to keep up, though one-sided.
I recently realized how much I missed the interaction. I am actually completing a book about my journey with advice that I hope will help someone. I know there are tons of these books and articles and websites out there. I'm more interested in sharing my story in the hopes that something in it will spark hope in someone else than setting up a business and selling products.
For whatever reason, none of the popular approaches really helped me. Yes, Organizing from the Inside Out was a huge help once I had already mostly decluttered. But as far as getting out from under, I couldn't. I wasn't ready to use that book.
And I came to realize that I failed because most approaches stress 'baby steps.' I didn't need baby steps, I needed a change and I needed it fast. Baby steps did not and do not tend to work for me. God, I felt like such a failure. What was wrong with me that I couldn't even BABY STEP correctly?
Then I realized I really had to do things my way, even if nobody else seemed to be. So I just started, and once I had started and was on my way, SS folk offered awesome support without rankling me, for the most part because you get "try this" and "here's what I did" without being TOLD WHAT TO DO.
So now that I feel have something to share again (in my defense, I was working about 90 hours a week at one point, and no energy for sharing anything at all) and I work human hours, writing at home, I chose clutterfree as my name. It reflects who I am now and how I aspire to remain. Always, always look forward, that's my motto now.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Jul 17, 2009 11:42:19 GMT -5
you did ask if I would change my name when I get clutter free....maybe I would....I had a name pop into my head today when I woke up from my daysleeping....bubblehead.....I am not sure what it means...my first thought was of a cartoon bubble head talking but then now I am thinking it is more like a bubbleheaded bleach blonde....sort of flakey.....hehe I like cartoons...not TV but drawn cartoons....so maybe I could become cartoon bubblehead? then again I like my avitar as BTT so perhaps I would stick with that.... also you ask if it has done anything for you to have a name in terms of squalor I am pretty sure you asked that....nope not one thing other than make me anonymous....I could have been bill for all I care.....but BTT is appropoe
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Jul 17, 2009 23:20:18 GMT -5
I'm hopehope.
i think it's self- evident?
*******
I learned something I didn't have -- from mimi's post -- usually when i interact with members who have messy as part of their name I morph it to missy -- or something like --
but they CHOSE that and it may have positive connotations for them I don't know -- or serve them in some way.
so -- I'll try.
it's hard for me to call people messy.
(on the other hand, I always called wantinmore "wanton". So I'm not in the pollyanna business.)
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bigsister
New Member
Maat goddess of truth, and balance
Joined: June 2009
Posts: 75
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Post by bigsister on Jul 18, 2009 6:11:08 GMT -5
1) I was searching the net looking for some explanation as to why I was and my brother is living in squalor. I was at the end of my rope. I found this site and started reading. I found a home here among folks who understand and don't judge.
2) The website has helped me tremendously, however, the name I chose in haste of the moment is a bit of a prickle to me. I have always been the one to pick up the pieces of family members in chaos. I should have chosen a name that makes me feel good about myself instead of this one.
3) I have had my successes and failures regarding the squalor. I am still searching my soul for a name that really says who I am and who I want to be.
4)NO. I don't know, I am contemplating that.
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Post by threeg on Jul 28, 2009 19:24:10 GMT -5
I origianlly took the name "Third generation Squalor Survivor" on the old board 5 years ago, because it fit. I am in the third generation of squalorers, and I survived it! When we came here, the rules of the server didn't allow me to use the name I had shortened it too. (Three G is me,) so I chose Three G....which I sign 3g. The name helps me to remember to keep going and stop the cycle of squalor. I came from a contained level 4 to my present level 0-2. If I ever become totally squalor free, I will probebly keep my name, because I will still be the Third generation, and will have survived it all. 3g
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jul 28, 2009 23:04:18 GMT -5
I'm SO glad someone besides me brought this up. I think any moniker that labels us as messy, or squalorous, or as a hoarder or saver, or as a negative toward anything about us at all is terribly defeatist. If I could wipe out every "messy" or similar name on these boards I'd do it in a heartbeat. My i.d., MiSC, is a play on my real initials (imagine if my name were Mi-ndy S-mith C-ohen). I like that it alludes to variety. Also, it makes googling me darned near impossible. Try googling "misc" and see what you get. I used to have a login that I found really funny, and anytime I told the story people really did laugh, but after years of having it I realized that was honestly kinda negative in a self-depricating kinda way. I let it go and just went with who I actually am. I'm MiSC.
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Post by Meme on Jul 29, 2009 0:33:10 GMT -5
but also it is our definitions of those words-: which can be different---
for someone clutter can be a negative word and to some one else positive- I call my stuff clutter and I like a lot of my clutter- and also some join with how they feel at the time -
for me squalor is a extreme negative word and I have difficulty even using it for me because of how my mind defines squalor, - and if I go by the defines here I have only been at the top but I still come here and I came here so hurt and overwhelmed and confused and afraid -of squalor as I thought that was where I was going..
I stick with Meme where ever I am on the net as I have a hard time at my age remembering who I am now- so if had to fiddle with names or change them I would be lost -
here in Alberta big time troubles is a nick name for a mischievous but fun boy/lad- sort of like Denis the minis-(sp)
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Post by Peach on Jul 29, 2009 1:03:51 GMT -5
I stick with Meme where ever I am on the net as I have a hard time at my age remembering who I am now- so if had to fiddle with names or change them I would be lost - Meme - You are a wise woman but you are definitely not old.
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Post by def6 on Jul 29, 2009 20:26:00 GMT -5
Mine is only my initials and how many people are in my family def6- but I have often thought that a special member of ours that happens to be hearing impared might get a little tired of seeing the DEF part and if that someone wanted me to I would change my user name in a heartbeat.
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Post by charis on Jul 29, 2009 21:38:29 GMT -5
Def, I think of you as def. That is, as the slang definition of the word--meaning hip, up-to-date, etc. So Def6 sounds like you are all in a musical group together which is kind of cool.
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Post by messyang on Jul 30, 2009 0:36:12 GMT -5
I am messy , and my name is Angela, but my best friend calls me "Ang" when she is feeling light hearted. I will be scared to change my name when I am perfectly desqualored, afraid I might jinx myself, haha.
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Post by marigold on Jul 30, 2009 2:45:59 GMT -5
I always thought def is shortened for "definition", and your nickname always sounded more cyber-tech to me, like in "high-definition" As for myself, my nickname came by combining the first half of my personal name "Mari-" and attaching something worthy and shiny to it "-gold" so it has a positive meaning. A nice coincidence that marigold is a flower which I happen to like as well. I only found that out when I was searching for a photo for my avatar.
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Post by shopgirl on Jul 31, 2009 3:03:41 GMT -5
I'm ShopGirl because I work at an electronics store at the mall. If I get my house streamlined, I'd still be ShopGirl. My name doesn't have much to do with my clutter at home, except for those irresistible retail discounts! I have many computers. But three of them are netbooks, so those don't count, right? Actually... For me, shopping created a huge problem. Not so much now that I'm a lowly retail worker, but the shopping I did in 1980-2000 when I had a great corporate job, big income and spent it all on stuff. Clothes, books, art, furniture, ten thousand other top-of-the-line things. And now I hate to part with any of the stuff I bought back then, because I know I will never ever be able to afford to buy things that nice again. Because I'm just a ShopGirl. I've really enjoyed reading about everyone's names. I like all the thought put into them. Miss Script, all these years and I never knew you are a published author of books!
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