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Post by crazycatlady on Jun 23, 2008 15:40:48 GMT -5
I do not think of myself as OCD or a perfectionist. I am more ADD, with the scattered thoughts and disorganization. I have even wished I could have just a touch of that obsessive need to clean, or the willingness to work towards a perfect goal, thinking I could just rein it in a bit, and achieve "good enough."
But I have been thinking. Today I was purchasing fresh strawberries. I really wanted to inspect each package, looking for that one perfect package of strawberries that are all fully ripe, with no bruises. I even considered weighing one good looking package, because it didn't look as full as the others. I really wanted to be sure to get the BEST.
Why? What difference will it make in the big picture if I don't get the perfect container of berries? Of course I want "good" strawberries, but isn't it ok to realize that my time is valuable, and just choose a "good enough" package?
Then today as I was scrubbing a glass pan. I scrubbed off every inch of brown baked on color. Of course the food needs to be removed, but I have always made sure that the handles are spotless, too.
My Mom used to scrub pans, and put them away with some baking stains still on them. Not dirty with food, but clean "enough." She also used to wipe the table with a sour dishcloth. My older sister and I have laughed about that...why didn't she get a new dishcloth every day? My dishcloth is changed pretty much daily, and if not it gets the sniff test. But where Mom would wipe the table many times each day, I often go for weeks without wiping my table. Which was fine when it was stacked to the ceiling with stuff, but now that it usually remains clean, and we eat at it...maybe I should worry more about wiping the table, and less about the dishcloth?
I think....sigh....no, I know that I am being picky about the wrong things. If I can reset my brain to look at the big picture, and say get the kitchen "clean enough", instead of overcleaning the handle of my pan, maybe I can maintain a cleaner space.
Maybe I need to be in search of imperfection.....
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Post by MsHavisham on Jun 23, 2008 17:33:48 GMT -5
Oh crazycatlady... Are we twins separated at birth? I am the same way.
Some days I think I must be ADD because I leave so many unfinished projects in my wake... flitting from one thing to another.
Yet I also have this weird perfectionistic narrow focus on the wrong things! And when I'm focused on the minutiae, I don't even process the rest of it until much later. And by then I've lost interest in it and I'm focusing on some minute detail of something else.
I live in my head too much, I think. I have wondered sometimes if I am somewhere on the autistic spectrum.
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Post by comingclean on Jun 23, 2008 17:36:35 GMT -5
CCL - reading your post I thought that you definetly have some OCD showing up there.....trying to find the perfect strawberries, get the baking spots off the pans, and having a clean dishcloth. I think the fine line between OCD people who clean endlessly and us is that they are ALWAYS trying to maintain perfection. We know perfection is unatainable, so we just don't try. We all want the same end result -- a clean house, we just have to learn to put our little idiosyncricies out of our minds and keep working at it. No one is perfect, and if we were, what fun would it be?  big hugs |
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Post by ramatama on Jun 24, 2008 7:28:00 GMT -5
At the risk of sounding like an old record or worse...or that you may think it doesn't fit to this post: please, dear forum friends, remember life is NOW, live in TODAY. Like Flylady also says, good enough is GOOD enough. Whenever i catch myself having obsessive thoughts about how something should be, taste, look, sound etc. i always think back to that little old lady i once looked after once a week ( reading to her ) who would lament: "I always postponed doing something for myself, thinking I'd have enough time to read later. I had a perfect home, everything was pico bello, nothing out of place, meals were balanced and on time, my 2 sons were well looked after but i drove them away with my neatness; I was always there for my in-laws, but they took me for granted too. But what good does all that perfection do for me now? I have nothing in my brain to show for it. No one appreciated what i did. What did i get out of life? nothing! now i cannot even read" The reason i come here, to this forum is to help remind me of the balance: Not too messy so i cannot enjoy having people over and not so neat that i cannot enjoy myself! thanks if you read this far without becoming upset. |
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Post by Script on Jun 24, 2008 13:36:25 GMT -5
I am being picky about the wrong things . aaarrrggghhhhh!!!! you have described many of my old clients, some of whom had terrible issues around procrastination and prioritization. Mr. XZY, family therapist, was intensely careful about 'food smells' in his office. "So unprofessional" he fumed whenever we tried to eat something at lunch. Piles of unfinished legal reports (his tardiness caused great suffering and hardship for his clients): this didn't bother him in the least. Mrs. ABC, landlady of a big office building, was very neat and tidy about her papers. Our rent had to be paid in advance (post-dated cheques). BUT she always kept her bank deposit books and our rent cheques in her briefcase in her car. One day the car was searched by vandals: dozens of cheques stolen! Dr. 123 made me keep impeccably accurate records of anything and everything. I worked like an absolute dog to satisfy his strict standards. On the other hand, he was incredibly silly about paying bills on time: hundreds of dollars of interest charged to his credit cards, all because he wouldn't mail the cheques I prepared...... it's a funny world we live in! |
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Post by crazycatlady on Jun 24, 2008 22:17:54 GMT -5
Oh crazycatlady... Are we twins separated at birth? I am the same way.
And yes, Ramatama, I DO need to be sure to take time for fun! And not the "cleaning the washing machine" kind of fun!  !
Thanks ComingClean and Script! This IS something I can work on! |
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Post by ClutterGone on Jun 25, 2008 5:13:53 GMT -5
I sometimes panic that I will never be able to get my house spotless and organized, and then I stop even trying to get my house clean and decluttered. I understand.
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Post by messymimi on Jun 25, 2008 16:58:13 GMT -5
Can't remember where I read this, so I apologize in advance if I've stolen it from someone else here: Perfect is all very well and good, but good enough lasts longer.
Yes, I too get caught up in doing the unnecessary perfectly, and leave the necessary undone. I now want to strive for good enough.
messymimi
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Post by Alexandra on Jun 25, 2008 21:14:13 GMT -5
Me--it's all or nothing. Either it gets done right or not at all. I'm learning to settle for "good enough."
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