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Post by dragonchilde on Jun 27, 2008 15:32:04 GMT -5
Am I the only one suffering from a couple of small obstacles to my desqualoring efforts? Namely, two small children? I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old, and I've found they're my biggest obstacles to progress. Not for their mess-making... surprisingly, they're not too bad. Obviously, the littlest is too small to make a mess, but the toddler stays in our living room, and the mess is contained... and fairly easy to clean up after, especially after paring her available toys down to one box full.
It's them being awake, needing to eat, or sleep, that gets in my way. If I try to clean up, one will need food... I breastfeed, so that's a minimum of every three hours, sometimes as often as every two hours for the baby. The toddler is always hungry...she's a grazer.
And naturally, when I do get the baby settled, and start working on something, the toddler will want to be underfoot. Or I'll need to work in the room the toddler is sleeping in.
Right now, I'm trying to get an overtired baby to sleep or eat, something. I've been listening to her scream for the last hour, and it took me half of that just to type this sentence. She's in the middle of a growth spurt or something.
On the other hand, they're also my greatest impetus for desqualoring... I want only the best for my babies.
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Post by messymimi on Jun 27, 2008 19:04:20 GMT -5
Dear dragonchilde, You have given me flashbacks to the days when I had 4 kids under 7 and was lucky to get my teeth brushed by 5 PM. A few suggestions I wish I had known to take: Give the toddler a job. Let her learn to sort socks, or hand her each piece of trash to put in the can. Count together out loud each item you put in a give-away box. Name the color of each item, or ask her to pick up anything in the pile you are sorting that is blue, then green. Find a way to make the child feel involved in the process, and she will learn early to like whatever job you give her as she is still at the age where it is fun. Yes, this may slow your progress to a crawl, but it is still progress and you are spending time with your child. She is underfoot because she loves and wants to be with mama, so try if you can to let her in on the "fun". Set the timer for 5 minutes, and tell her to play with her toy while you work for that time. Then reward her for playing alone with 5 minutes of your undivided attention, again with the timer going. You can stretch these sessions out to 15 or 20 minutes as her attention span grows. After she learns that she really does get mama when that thing dings, she will be willing to go along with it. See if you can remove a box of items to sort from the room where anyone is sleeping before nap time. If they are both down for a nap, work for 15 minutes, then take a nap, too! You really do need it. You will get more done if you are a bit more rested, and you won't be cranky (if you are the type to get cranky when tired, like I am). Put a healthy snack where the toddler can reach it by herself, in small amounts, and replenish frequently. I used a low table and left out oat circle cereal, cut up grapes, broccoli florets, etc. Hire a neighborhood teen for an hour two afternoons a week to entertain the children in another room while you work. Or see if you can get one to do it free as part of their community service requirement for school. Yes, at this age they can be a hindrance to getting actual work done, but remember they are little for a short time. It's hard, I remember, but try to enjoy their being underfoot. Too soon you will be wondering where they (and your car) are  ! You will be in my prayers tonight, especially that the baby calms down. You are not a bad mama if you put her in her crib and let her scream for a while when you just can't do anything else. messymimi |
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Post by messysue on Jun 27, 2008 20:30:03 GMT -5
My dogs get in my cleaning way.
I have to put them out or cage them when I mop.
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Post by dragonchilde on Jun 27, 2008 21:29:43 GMT -5
messymimi, those are fabulous ideas! Thank you so much. That will really help, especially the snacks.  I have a grazer, and self-serve healthy stuff is a wonderful idea. She won't eat more than she needs, she's very good at self-regulating. And no one was ever hurt by eating too much fresh broccoli. Turns out the baby has been teething. This didn't even occur to me, as my toddler didn't cut her first tooth until 11 months. Poor baby has been screaming all day, and her throat probably hurts, too. hubby got her some tylenol, and she just fell completely asleep as soon as it took effect, and she's been killing the teething rings, and has been very, very fussy at the breast. |
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Post by Alexandra on Jun 29, 2008 18:27:40 GMT -5
My six-year-old son makes cleaning his room hard. He hates for anyone to clean it (he does have a developmental delay though he's catching up--he's going into first grade). I'd be at one end of the toy box throwing toys in and he'd be at the other end throwing them back out!
If I clean it while he's in school, the minute he gets home, he messes it up again. I take an hour and a half to straighten it, and he takes a minute and a half to get it messy again!
Funny thing is, at school, he is REALLY good at putting things away where they belong!
My fault, I think. I need to put my foot down and start making him pick up his toys at night.
He's also a boy you have to keep your eye on, because sometimes when you turn your back he's doing things like swiping a laundry basket to play in!
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Post by eagle on Jun 29, 2008 19:19:07 GMT -5
Dragonchilde, Messymimi's suggestions are very good ones. As a grandmother I was reminded of how difficult it was with toddlers to get anything done around the house.
My granddaughter is 6 now, but when she was the one that helped me re-discover how exhausting 24 hour child care can be. I love every minute of that time being reminded of it, though.
Anyway, I found a few things that helped me get some things done. When I needed to do dishes, I brought her in the kitchen and let her sit on the floor with a few aluminum pans and she played nearby while I washed dishes or cooked a meal.
I have also used the timer with her from a very early age. And we worked together. From the time she could walk she has swept with a short child sized broom. She loved sweeping the deck at the age of two and we would clean together. She likes to clean the windows. She likes organizing the bathroom countertop. She has stood on a stool to help wash dishes since she was two, as well. She no longer needs a stool, though.
For the dishes, I used to just put plastics into warm soapy water and let her play in the bubbly water and that's how she learned to enjoy doing dishes. We actually used to have to save dishes for her to wash because she has so much fun with it.
Since she was two or three, we have had her helping to prepare meals. Her mom would let her shape the matza balls when she made matza ball soup.
In the garden, she had her own section, which we fenced in with pretty white plastic mini-fencing and she planted and tended her own flower garden since she was about 3 years old. This was great for me because at that time I used to spend hours in my garden everyday, so it helped to have something for her to do while I tended my garden.
Of course this was only one child and not two. When my sons were young we used to do things like putting on our socks and skating around the floor to buff up the wax I had just applied. We also used to use scrub brushes, Murphys Oil Soap and buckets of warm water to wash the vinyl wallpaper in the kitchen. They enjoyed those activiities when we did them together.
MM is right. They will be grown and move on and you will remember these times with fondness and longing. I love these memories.
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