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Post by Ms.Choc-o-lot on Jun 28, 2008 16:52:36 GMT -5
I tried to list three things I was going to do today, per Working-in-Threes. I've avoided that ALL DAY today. It's nearly 5:00pm here, and I've not done a single solitary thing, let alone the three small things I said I was going to do. I'm thinking this may not be the best plan of attack for me  Lesson learned - I kind of thought I worked better when I didn't have a 'must-do' before me, but now I know. |
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Post by ramatama on Jun 28, 2008 17:17:56 GMT -5
there is also the "Ta-da" approach. Sometimes it works for me. Have you tried that?
You do--whatever--and as soon as you did it you get to list what you did. At the end of whatever ( the hour, the morning, the day) you get to read all what you did. That can include small grooming tasks to major projects.
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Post by Ms.Choc-o-lot on Jun 28, 2008 18:02:29 GMT -5
I haven't tried that one yet, but I will.
Sigh.
I get so down by even doing tiny things, because there is simply so much to do, ya know?
It's almost like - what difference does a couple of small things make, in the whole scheme of things, when there is simply so.much.to.be.done
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Post by crazycatlady on Jun 28, 2008 19:20:32 GMT -5
The little babysteps are what got me out of squalor. I joined the old Squalor Survivors site 10/30/06. I couldn't do 15 minute challenges, because I would get distracted. But I could do 5 minutes at a time.
I posted, and got encouragement, and kept on trying. It took about 9 months for me to get most of my clutter cleared, and most of the filth cleaned up. Not that I have a "clean" house, but I can manage it now. I am still working on eliminating excess stuff, and cleaning areas that haven't been cleaned in over a decade. But I can have people over, and not be ashamed. Its wonderful!
I could NOT clean my whole house. (I still can't, truth be told.) I can do a small amount at a time. I had a recent post in Listzilla, where I used a visual made on my computer in Paint. It really helps to motivate me...I'm a visual person, I suppose!
My best advice is to keep trying. Post your little successes so we can cheer you on! And....don't be afraid to pay for help. I have a housekeeper coming in every two weeks now. She helps SO much!
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Post by Ms.Choc-o-lot on Jun 28, 2008 19:37:55 GMT -5
I'm at a level 2 in all areas of the house. The living room is approaching a 1 and so is the kitchen. On the other hand, there are a couple of rooms that fall just short of the 3rd level.
I am also going to try the ETE technique - because even if I do a handful of things, so much more seems to get 'undone' during the day.
I did get up and do the things I listed I would do last night - it was SERIOUSLY hard to do THOSE things, and not get totally distracted by ALL the other things that need to be done. I feel like a butterfly, flitting around, and never quite getting done what I set out to do. But this afternoon, I did JUST the things I listed. Both things. that's all. I forced myself to stay on THOSE tasks - and it took about 5 minutes total, and because of the mental energy required to keep from flitting about, I feel exhuasted.
BUT, I did those two things - threw away all the empty shampoo/conditioner bottles - about half a dozen, and gathered all the medical stuff and put in a SINGLE box and placed it in its new home on the shelves.
TA-DA! My 'medicine' cabinet supplies have a home.
So do all the empty containers - (in the trash).
TA-DA!
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Post by Moodle on Jun 28, 2008 20:05:37 GMT -5
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Post by Ms.Choc-o-lot on Jun 28, 2008 20:37:08 GMT -5
I seriously doubt you will know JUST HOW MUCH those cheering smilies, and the hand-clappy ones meant to me, today. I feel like I have my own personal cheering section. Love the thumbs-up and WTG ones too.
THANK YOU!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 28, 2008 21:05:11 GMT -5
I did get up and do the things I listed I would do last night - it was SERIOUSLY hard to do THOSE things, and not get totally distracted by ALL the other things that need to be done.
I feel like a butterfly, flitting around, and never quite getting done what I set out to do.
But this afternoon, I did JUST the things I listed. Both things. that's all. I forced myself to stay on THOSE tasks - and it took about 5 minutes total, and because of the mental energy required to keep from flitting about, I feel exhuasted. I can totally relate to those feelings!  That's a HUGE lightbulb moment ... noticing that it's the mental energy that exhausts us. BUT, I did those two things - threw away all the empty shampoo/conditioner bottles - about half a dozen, and gathered all the medical stuff and put in a SINGLE box and placed it in its new home on the shelves.
TA-DA! My 'medicine' cabinet supplies have a home.
So do all the empty containers - (in the trash).
TA-DA! AWESOME !  - |
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Post by ramatama on Jun 29, 2008 8:59:01 GMT -5
because of the mental energy required to keep from flitting about, I feel exhuasted. ! yep! if only you knew how much this affects so many of us! It is also why we seem to berate ourselves with the "L" word. Several SOS siblings have and will mention this: motivation follows action. At first i found this hard to believe, but it is true ( for me in any case) Often times i will tell myself: "OK you get to do a sudoko, but only after you unload dishwasher", and funny enough i find myself cleaning more than just that. Was so happy to hear you enjoyed the cheers...here are some more:  |
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Post by SueDonym on Jun 29, 2008 12:39:18 GMT -5
I hate to do things I know I HAVE TO do. I rarely use lists because they feel like a HUGE burden to me. What I usually try to do is just do ANYTHING whenever I get up... a few dishes, pick up a couple pieces of trash, put something away, wipe down ONE surface. But I know d.amn well that if I put all those things in a list, I would do everything in my power NOT to do them!  |
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Post by messymimi on Jun 29, 2008 17:34:56 GMT -5
Is this demand resistance at work? When you feel like you have to do something, you avoid it like the plague?
Someone said we should say we want to do it, not that we have to. Problem there is, I don't want to. I want to go read a book, newspaper, magazine, online article, blog, cereal box ... anything to avoid doing it! Also, I really would rather be reading than doing anything else most of the time anyway.
Then I read about saying "I choose" to do it. Sometimes that does the trick, sometimes not.
As far as there being so much to do and little bits not making a dent, maybe that is kind of like most people's approach to weight loss. They want all the weight gone now, but we know that slow losses are usually maintained, while quick losses come back even faster. We want the whole house cleaned and decluttered at once, but when we try that, we crash and burn and the mess comes back. If we go slowly, and maintain what we've accomplished, we get there.
messymimi
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Post by crazycatlady on Jun 30, 2008 10:53:18 GMT -5
At the old site, we had a lovely member named Boodles. She was one of the wisest people that I have ever known! I can remember her talking about imagining the kindest most wonderful person that you can picture. A Mother Teresa type...someone who showers love and peace. Pretend she came to visit. What would she do?
And example might be my bedroom which seems like such a pit, and no one comes in there exept dh and I. Instead of somehow trying to talk ME into doing it, just picture this lovely woman taking pity on me. Why, no one could face such an insurmountable mess on their own! So maybe she will fluff my pillow and tuck me gently into bed for a nap, while she just picks up a few things. You can almost feel the love flowing as she just gathers some dirty clothes and takes them to the laundry room, or maybe empties the trash cans so this poor helpless soul can rest her eyes for a bit!
Don't worry too much about doing the "right thing", or the "best thing". Just do something for a few minutes, for this overwhelmed lady who can't seem to get started. Show her some love!
If nothing else is working, have pity on yourself, and give yourself a helping hand! Then sit down and have an indulgence...a square of dark chocolate, a glass of iced tea, or a game of Sudoko. (Or 15 minutes reading here? !)
Oh....and I TOTALLY get loving the cheers! Yay, Ms. Choc-o-lat! 
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