hollydayzd
New Member
Sure-fire way to cure that clutter problem!
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 94
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Post by hollydayzd on Jul 4, 2008 20:55:49 GMT -5
Hi all you SS sweeties!  I haven't checked in for awhile and when I did I got thrown for a loop with the board change! Anyway, as you know we lost everything to fire 6 months ago and are rebuilding our home. Somewhat miraculously and impressively, I have managed to completely junk up our rent house solely with donated items from well-meaning friends and family.  Obviously this is not going to work. I always said that if I could just clean the slate and start over fresh with a non-cluttered house, I could keep it that way. I have been slapped in the face by reality.  It seems obvious in retrospect now.... Since I did not make the changes necessary to clear my junk (it was merely cleared FOR ME by fire) then I am not prepared to live the non-cluttered life. I need your help! I do NOT want to junk up our nice new house whenever it is finished. What advice could you give me about changes to make (physically or psychologically) so that I am not drowning in clutter 6 months from now? The thought of letting our nice new home get completely trashed like it used to be horrifies me. How can I keep this from happening? Is there some type of plan I can follow? I knew what kind of plan I needed to follow to attempt clearing my clutter, but I have no idea what to do to make sure I maintain a clutter-free home (especially since I didn't clean it out to begin with). I mean, I'm sure a successful maintainer made many changes to themselves WHILE they were getting clutter-free, so to maintain merely meant keeping to the program. I have no program!!! I feel completely lost and scared to death I'll be buried in "STUFF" again.  |
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Post by BDG on Jul 4, 2008 22:38:17 GMT -5
I think I would make a plan of what to take with me and donate the rest to goodwill or the salvation army. Take only what you absolutely need or love and get rid of the rest, as time goes by you can add to it slowly. The same applies to clothes as well. Too much of anything is not a good thing, it becomes a burden to bear, so be ruthless and take just what you need.
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masmom
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 32
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Post by masmom on Jul 4, 2008 22:49:00 GMT -5
First, welcome back to the boards.
My first suggestion is to start with decluttering and work towards establishing routines.
Even though lots of people may have given you stuff, it was certainly not to burden you with it so feel free to pass along to others what you don't need -- including furniture, clothes, etc. If you can't enjoy your stuff than those who were able to get it for you certainly would hate to hear that it isn't helping you.
So, work toward just picking out what you need and passing it along to someone else -- maybe freecycle, thrift shop or if any of the organizations that may have helped you out can use things give them a call.
So, as you continue with decluttering, figure out where your weaknesses are? Basics -- laundry or dishes, paperwork, not getting trash into cans or out the door, putting things away after you are done with them or maybe something else. Pick one of those and see if you can create a new routine of working to improve that one thing. As soon as you've got that new habit maybe pick the next one.
At some point it would probably help a lot to start setting some basic routines (maybe Flylady.net maybe something else that works for you). But once you can start working on each room on a somewhat regular basis you should be able to seeing some improvement. AS you start decluttering again, maintaining will be easier.
These suggestions may take some time to implement but hopefully will help you out.
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kitrin
New Member
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 65
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Post by kitrin on Jul 4, 2008 22:52:54 GMT -5
This is your chance to choose a sparse existance. You don't need all the fancy gadgets and clutter
in your home.
Make sure that everything has a home. when you move in bring the essentials and find homes for them as soon as they are unboxed.. if you have to label cupboards and shelves for the first few weeks to make sure things make it back to their own houses.
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Post by Morningstar on Jul 5, 2008 1:25:34 GMT -5
Hello Hollydayzd, it's good to see you again! Welcome (back) to SOS! It's wonderful to hear rebuilding of your home is underway and that family and friends were able to donate things to keep you afloat in the meantime. All of the above advice is good and I have nothing more to add, just wanted to say hi and welcome back!  Best wishes  |
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hollydayzd
New Member
Sure-fire way to cure that clutter problem!
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 94
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Post by hollydayzd on Jul 5, 2008 5:45:31 GMT -5
Thanks for the help, y'all! I guess I just had a moment of crisis earlier today and figured I'd vent my impending panic attack on the board. You came through like the troupers you are (!) injecting calm rational thought into my anxiety-riddled brain.  Thanks for talking me down ...... I always wanted to live a more simplistic existence. I don't need a lot of "stuff" and I don't want to collect anything that needs to be dusted. I just never knew how to pare it all down. I never in a million years would have expected that we would receive so many donated items that we would be right back in clutter-ville! I had no idea people actually liked us.  I have to say, it was an extremely moving experience to receive so much from our friends & neighbors - some of whom I'd never even met! There are some really great people living in our small town. This is my situation - and I KNOW a lot of you have felt the same way at one time or another - I feel guilty if I get rid of something that someone gave me to help me out in a true time of need. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. And even if an item is pure junk (like torn clothing or wobbly furniture beyond repair) I STILL get a twinge just thinking about throwing it out. I think every item I don't need should go to a specific charity or to a person in need - but this keeps me from moving forward with my paring down and clearing out. I also have a major MAJOR problem with paper. Mail, catalogs, magazines, newspaper, receipts, "to-do" lists, kids papers, instruction manuals, even FORTUNE COOKIE FORTUNES  are the bane of my existence. It is so hard to pitch that stuff because I always think I will miss reading something I need to know - or want to remember - and so it just piles up, covering every flat surface in the house. * Does anyone have a good 'question & answer' checklist for keeping paper? (Like, I know when you are cleaning out a closet you should ask yourself "do I love it?" "does it fit?" and "have I worn it in the last year?" and if there are any "no's" then you get rid of it. What would be some good questions like that for my paper issue? ?) Thanks so much!!!! |
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Post by messymimi on Jul 5, 2008 9:01:15 GMT -5
Dear Hollydazd, It's great to have you back, nice to know I'm not alone down here in south Louisiana with my mess . (As Benny Grunch says on his 12 Yats of Christmas album, "I'd like to wish peace on earth to everybody who's got stuff on the front porch that needs to be picked up!" Maybe we're not alone after all. ) Paper is the bane of my existence, too. I have finally decided that if it is not a vital paper, like birth or marriage certificate or mortgage deed, or if I won't possibly need it if I am audited by the IRS, then I'm not keeping it. Kids papers you can keep one or two representative papers from each year, or take digital pictures or scan a few favorites and keep them on a disk. Takes up less space. "I like this saying" or "I might get around to reading it someday" papers, well, I just bite the bullet and toss. I can get more if it off the internet, anyway. If I need to know it, someone will tell me eventually. For things given to you that are obvious trash, remember that the person gave it to you for the same reason you are keeping it, namely, he/she felt guilty about getting rid of it. Giving it to you made the person feel better. It was out of their hair, but they avoided the guilt of tossing, because they found someone who could "use" it, even though it really was useless. A very wise lady I once knew who often received bags of donated clothes called the old, worn, practically ragged items she would sometimes get "best beloveds". She realized these were items someone had loved to the point of uselessness, but they didn't want to face it. It made them feel better to think it was going to be made use of, rather than to just end up trashed. She threw those items out without guilt, knowing they had served their purpose. None of us like to think that something we once used and really enjoyed is so far gone as to need to be trashed. Thus we hang on to it looking for a place for it. If we do find someone to give it to, it helps us feel better, but burdens that person with getting rid of it. Please don't pass on that burden, and don't try to keep that burden, either. For items given to you that are not trash, but you don't need or use, have you thought of talking to the donor (if you know who that is)? A simple, "thank you so much for the potato peeler/couch/garden rake/item of clothing/whatever, we have really gotten some use out of it. Now the insurance is replacing it/we received 3 others/my mom got me a new one for my birthday/the kid outgrew it/ it won't go with the color scheme in the new house like this other one will/insert reason here, so we don't need it when we move to our new house. Would you like for me to donate it in your name to charity?" Obviously you can't use this with every tiny item you've been given, but maybe with the bigger stuff you might consider it. Also remember, kitchen items "break" as does old furniture, clothes rip, and no one should expect to see you still using every single one of the mismatched kitchen items they gave you once you are in permanent digs. (If they do, they need to get a life.) I hope some of this helps, and good luck with the weeding out stuff. messymimi |
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Post by stressedbythemess on Jul 5, 2008 9:05:19 GMT -5
I am still conquering a paper tiger, but here is what I ask myself when I'm working on things
1. Is it of still-relevant legal, tax, or otherwise financial importance?
2. Is it in good condition? (no stains, tears, crumpled bits etc) If no- toss unless there is a pressing reason to keep it. If I have to keep it and it can be copied over to something else, do that.
3. Why am I keeping this? (sentimental, useful etc)
If it is sentimental then (I have big issues with this)
4. Is it really something I want to remember?
5. Is it something important enough I will want it in 5 or 10 years from now?
If it is NOT sentimental then
4. Is it still relevant, or do I still like it?
5. Is it something I could get a digital copy of right now and it not matter? (if so, go do, toss physical copy).
6. Am I willing to lug this around on another move? (boxes of papers are HEAVY!)
7. If i threw it away today, and forgot about it 5 minutes later, how long would it take me to run into/realize it was gone? How upset would I be?
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Jul 5, 2008 11:08:56 GMT -5
stressedbythemess has a good answer.
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Post by heylady1 on Jul 5, 2008 12:07:54 GMT -5
Messymimi wrote:That is really inspired....and really true too. I would use that, Hollydayzd to your advantage and toss out those torn clothes and wobbly furniture. Other big items yes, ask the person if they would like it back or donated in their name and get it out of your house! Smaller items just get rid of anyway you can . A big thing you need to learn though is to say NO. I had this problem too. My parents especially would give me items that I didn't need or want. And I always took them. And I always kept them even when it I didn't have room for them. But I finally learned to politely say NO when they wanted to give me something. No, I don't have the room really, my space is limited. No I already have one of those, or No I don't want that but thank you so much for thinking of me. Paper items. I'm getting better at this. I just this morning threw out a big stack of newspaper coupons that I needed to cut out and organize. It finally dawned on me that I wasn't going to do it, that I tend to carry an envelope just stuffed with coupons in my purse and then I forget to use them and most of them were probably outdated anyway, so in the garbage they went. So for me I'd be ruthless about this. All newspapers, catalogs, to-do lists should go right in the garbage or recycling bin. Magazines older than 6 months should go too (unless you subscribe to alot of mags in which case maybe 3 months would be more appropriate). Childrens stuff is harder. I used to keep everything but I now only have a few drawings that my son made when he was younger. I also kept his certificates, all his awards, but really it's limited to one box. (Photos are a whole 'nother story for me, those I can't let go of yet). Receipts I keep long term ONLY if they are for big ticket items that I need to keep it for the warranty. Other receipts are only kept long enough to make sure I write them down in my checkbook. Instruction manuals on items are only kept if: the item is new and I need to keep it to learn how to operate said item, OR if the item is something I will only use once in a great while and so I might forget how to operate the item, OR if the manual has something extra in it (ie; the manual for a deep fryer might have receipes in it which I might want). Because I do have problems, I no longer subscribe to a newspaper and I have cut my magazines down to 3. I used to have boxes of my magazines until the last time we moved and after moving that I started tossing. Never again. If the mag has something really special in it, I might keep it but my stack of those 'really important issues' is limited to one drawer in one stand so I pick and choose very carefully now. Things you can ask yourself: Do I need this? (ie; tax purposes, for returning items, for instructional purposes) Do I want this? (ie; childrens report cards, to-do lists) Do I have room for this? (ie; magazines) Do I want to move this? (ie; just about anything unneeded!!) HTH
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hollydayzd
New Member
Sure-fire way to cure that clutter problem!
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 94
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Post by hollydayzd on Jul 9, 2008 23:14:59 GMT -5
These are really great ideas!
~ Thanks, y'all!!! ~
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slobovian
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
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Post by slobovian on Jul 10, 2008 18:19:08 GMT -5
With paper, I think it's reasonable to have one four drawer file cabinet that holds warranties, tax records, children's drawings and report cards, wills, etc. More than that is probably overkill, but if you must, get a second file cabinet. Get in the habit of putting papers IN the file cabinet instead of leaving them laying around. There are 3 places for paper - "to be read/to be paid" tray, the file cabinet and the trash. You can cut down on the junk mail you get and plant a tree to help Planet Earth by signing up with Green Dimes: www.greendimes.com/gw/chooserUse freecycling and Craigslist to find new homes for items you don't need. You never know. Someone else may be in the same pickle you were in from a fire, a flood or having to leave an abusive spouse. Dented pots and pans are a good alternative to having no pots and pans at all. Assuming that no one wants this stuff back, you can tell any of your friends and family who ask about the item they gave you, that you gave it to a family that needed it. |
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