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Post by Script on May 21, 2008 8:46:19 GMT -5
This is MY STORY as posted 2006 at Squalor Survivors.
Script's story Hi! My name is Script: short for scriptorium: the place in a mediaeval monastery where people write. My computer is in my home office where, among other things, I write.
I understand numbers: 25 years of dust. 20 years of music-hoarding. 700 books to Goodwill. 200 bags to charity. 13 rooms improved.18,000 sq ft of 3rd degree squalor.
I use labels: I am a Concealer-Accumulator ("26 kinds of hand cream.") A demand-sensitive/resistant perfectionist. A lightly-medicated depressive. A conflict-avoidant introvert. Blame the labels on education: Honours BA in English, minor in Philosophy.
I am a survivor. I survived a difficult childhood with a demanding alcoholic father. I survived hours of therapy to treat my "entrenched" guilt and low self-esteem. I survived 8 years as sole breadwinner when DearHubby was unemployed: the long recession was one source of our financial squalor. I survived the catastrophes in my family business (we sold the building with 3rd degree squalor: $5000 just to haul away the garbage! Yikes!)
I love words: Santa Cleopatra! Onwards and Upwards! Holy Cannoli! I have written books, translated magazines, kept journals. Alas, there is a little-known by-product to such creativity: mountains of papers, outlines, drafts, proposals. As a Concealer, I kept this literary mess carefully hidden, sometimes labeled, creating chaos in the drawers and cupboards of my home. The outside looked neat, but inside: whoa nelly! Thanks to my tossing marathons, this paper squalor is now gone the way of the Dodo Bird: hurrah!
I am a low-energy middle-aged lady (8+ years of multiple-symptom menopause madness.) So I attack my various projects in bits and pieces. I used a FlyLady timer to clean the library in 15 minutes segments: 21 hours to de-book one small room. Dust-a-rama!
I crave harmony. Although I'm a life-long music-lover ("50 years of lessons") it took nearly forever to identify this need. Finally I learned to work slowly and un-systematically on various areas in my house. I found a rhythm that works: thanks to timers, LisztZilla, chat room challenges, carefully chosen rewards. As a perfectionist, I expected to need huge blocks of time to clean the library or re-organize the office to the highest standards of professional perfection: not so! Baby steps work too: who knew?
I am a non-visualizer. As a musician I hear, as a writer I read, as a philosopher I think. But I never SEE. For most of my adult life ("36 years of independence") I never noticed the ugly things accumulating around me: family cast-offs, unwanted gifts, mismatched accessories. Now I look, then discard quickly and slowly renew. This process has revealed a new me: someone who wants beauty in her surroundings. Recently I tossed old pots, broken utensils, chipped mixing bowls. I bought wonderful kitchen items ("cooking since 1956") that reflect my new vision: neat functional easy-to-clean modern cheerful.
The Bottom Line ("35 year career in bookkeeping"): I want more. I want better. I want freedom from useless clutter and tasteless junque. I want fun not frenzy, I want space light silence contentment. To this end, I am grateful for Squalor Survivors ("member since October 2004"), as I learn to maintain what took so long to discover.
Script
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Script
May 21, 2008 14:17:20 GMT -5
Post by Minnibella on May 21, 2008 14:17:20 GMT -5
Script,
I love how you wrote your story; extremely descriptive...loved the language you used!
Blessings
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Script
May 23, 2008 23:39:28 GMT -5
Post by creativechaos on May 23, 2008 23:39:28 GMT -5
Hi script; Thanks for being one of our administrators! How wonderful to read your story! you have been such a support to me and to many. It is great to get to "know" some of you through your stories! I can relate to so much of what you shared. thanks so much!
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Script
May 24, 2008 13:22:16 GMT -5
hedy likes this
Post by pegasus48 on May 24, 2008 13:22:16 GMT -5
Script, you said it all. You said it well. And my favorite line is, "I crave harmony."
I dream of a life of harmony gracefully unfolding day by day.
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