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Post by flylady on Dec 12, 2009 9:51:36 GMT -5
For someone who has fallen off the wagon and been run over? I have lost motivation and want it back! Give me all your tips and hints please! Thanks for any help! My house is a tip and I am getting the stage where I don't care, but I need to care for my kids. Please help me!
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Post by mellowyellow on Dec 12, 2009 10:10:16 GMT -5
Okay, okay... take a breath.
We are here for you.
It's going to be fine....
Alright then... platitudes, but you know... we will do it one bite at at time...
Choose one spot. Just one single table or top of a shelf. Ignore all else. See what you can do with that one spot, and then come back here to share.
Good luck!
P.S. I will look for the oasis thread that Lion or someone else started...
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Post by Rosebud on Dec 12, 2009 10:12:48 GMT -5
Have you tried Chat challenges?
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Dec 12, 2009 14:44:26 GMT -5
For what it's worth, here's my list, in no particular order.
As Misc said, you never have to start over--you just decide when to continue.
You have many different ways to get "back on the wagon."
I start with discarding everything I know to be trash. I try to fill the trash can every week when I'm desqualoring. Once it's full, I can move on to other tasks, but if that can's not full, I feel like I'm not getting my money's worth out of my trash hauler. Trash compactor bags are great, because they're stronger.
You could also start with the bathroom. A clean bathroom looks great, and allows you to use it for cleaning other things.
Do the kitchen next, for the same reasons (or vice versa.)
If possible, empty at least one cupboard and drawer before doing the rest, so you have a place to put things away. I find this unbelieveably helpful.
What's the most distressing part of your mess? Can you do that first?
Do something you can complete quickly, that you can admire later. It will give you a sense of progres and accomplishment.
If you have a dishwasher or laundry facilities at home, keep them running while you work on other tasks. One load a day will take care of the backlog quickly and painlessly.
Do you have anyone to help you? If so, get them to help with either what they most effective at doing, or what you can't do yourself. I would never ask my DH to help me sort, but he's great at moving and stacking boxes, and I feel cared for and appreciated.
If you live alone, do consider what tasks would be good to delegate, should unexpected help arrive. Sometimes you'll get lucky--I ran into my neighbors at the DIY store, and they took my lumber home in their truck! Just ponder this possibility, so if help arrives, you know what to do with it.
When you're sorting things, don't make too many different categories--no more than 4--5. I use "keep, donate, not mine, keep for a specific hobby, and not sure." Too many categories will paralyze you.
I love watching any housecleaning or organizing TV shows while I work--it's like having my own cheering squad. Any other shows about transformation are good too--"Intervention," "Supernanny," etc. For me, they reinforce that change is possible.
If TV isn't your thing, perhaps music would work. I love marching band music--it's all about getting people moving.
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Post by ivorytower on Dec 12, 2009 17:57:10 GMT -5
Something that's worked well for me is doing a certain number of jobs in every room in sequence. Doing, say, three jobs in each room in turn would make me tackle the worst, usually my bedcroom, instead of just concentrating on the things I found easiest. I've always found the kitchen easiest to clear up and sometimes I'd do a great job with this, even cleaning out cupboards, before I'd do anything at all in the bedroom. This is why I slept on my sofa for months - in fact I think I slept on it for over a year at one point.
Just moving around, taking each room in turn and doing something, however small, has made a lasting difference.
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Post by rickie on Dec 12, 2009 18:17:51 GMT -5
These are all excellent tips  |
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Post by greenfuzz on Dec 13, 2009 1:54:12 GMT -5
Flylady I hear you, and the tipes here are great. a couple tips from me
-Start with what you are most willing to do, even if it's not super practical. Allow yourself to dust a top shelf if you feel moved to do that even if other areas are filthy
-Start with what makes you most insane feeling to have dirty/cluttered. Leave things alone that don't bother you as much to start.
-Start with something that will give you space to use immediately. Need to cook? Do dishes, or clear a space on the counter etc.
-Start with one category of things and ignore all other things, preferably something you can do while moving throughout the house . Say start with trash on the floor, only trash, only on the floor. Then move to trash on surfaces..dishes on the floor, on surfaces..
-If you have bad smells, although those are the most intimidating, they are also the most relieving to remove. They also can inspire you to do more. Allow yourself disposable surgical gloves, and breathing masks if needed.
-disposable gloves in general are a lifesaver for me. I hate putting my hands back into wet ordinary gloves, that get moldy and stinky. I find I'm much more willing to clean things I don't have to touch.
-be willing to make a mistake, we all have much more leeway than we realize. It's Ok to throw things away even if we might need them some day. Find out what happens when you do accidentally throw something out that you later need. It turns out you don't die, you can replace it!
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Post by flylady on Dec 13, 2009 10:47:07 GMT -5
Thanks For all the really great tips! I second the use of disposable gloves, they are such a lifesaver aren't they. I think I will start on the bathroom as it is the smallest room in the house so it won't be so overwhelming and daunting. My biggest trouble is, I look at a room and instantaneously get so tired and exhausted. I do work nights, so I am sleep deprived all the time. I see that most of you are making such wonderful progress and I want the same too. Maybe today I can clean the bathroom counter top and drawers, it won't take that long and at least I can see my progress at least.
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Post by 60isolderthanithot on Dec 13, 2009 12:50:03 GMT -5
-Start with something that will give you space to use immediately. Need to cook? Do dishes, or clear a space on the counter etc. I'm so glad I read this today! I brought in a bunch of boxes of stuff to be sorted -- and then sat there paralyzed. I never know where to start. I finally realized why. It's because I often get overly ambitious and bring in so much stuff, there's nowhere to sort it! I end up making more of a mess and get discouraged. A job that should take two hours ends up taking a whole day because I "work" in an area about the size of a paperback book! I get tired and quit. Reminding me that I must have TWO spaces - the second to be used for working - did me a huge favor. THANK YOU!!!! |
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Post by yearning4order on Dec 13, 2009 13:07:59 GMT -5
Fly, remember that progress is won inch by inch, square foot by square foot. I can't seem to get much of anything done by working hours and hours straight on it. For instance--it took us a full 5 days of working in short bursts to get our Christmas tree put up. But if we had stopped after day 1 (which I've done in years past), the boxes of decorations, etc would have sat out in the house for days if not months. (One year, I kept the tree up until Easter because I was too depressed to take it down.)
One time when I was in a panic about how to get started, the first guidance I got from one of our members here was to sit down and have a cup of tea. So I would say, eat a nice breakfast, have a cup of tea or coffee or a smoothee before you start.
Everyone here repeatedly told me to start where ever I wanted. That was so freeing. And to just work square inch by square inch, starting with trash first.
I don't know if you are one of those people assaulted by negative self talk or internal committee of doom in your head, but I am. So when I make a step forward, it's right there to tell me how I"m doing it wrong, how awful I am, how the house will never get clean and I'll never amount to anything and eventually end up alone in a van down by the river.
These are the things that helped me with that:
-DJ told me I could swear back at that voice, and I'll be "durned" if that doesn't work!
-Mimi and Meme had great suggestions that I could say things like "Perhaps I can't do everything, but I can do something and I'm going to." And then go do something.
These things help immensley when I'm cleaning things that are emotionally charged.
The chat challenges keep me going when things are emotionally tough with the cleaning. We don't care if you think you've gone backward, we just want to know what square inch you tackled in the last 15 minutes so we can cheer for you!
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Post by flylady on Dec 13, 2009 13:22:05 GMT -5
Yearning for order, thank you so much, I am in the same situation with my living room, and my tree, I have no room to put it anywhere! I will have to work on that too, it's so relieving that someone else knows the situation! I love your quote too, that I may not be able to do everything, but I can do something!
Thank you
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