messymum
New Member
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 27 
|
Post by messymum on Dec 14, 2009 12:23:03 GMT -5
Are there others recovering from squalor and have managed to completely transform their life and rid themselves of the squalor once and for all? How do you manage to stay on track? I am amazed at what I have accomplished in the last year but TERRIFIED of slipping back. So much so that I am starting to go the other way and become a little obsessed about cleaning and organizing. I guess there are worse things but I find I really have to step back at times and examine why I am doing the things I do.  I guess that is why I have come back here looking for others in the same situation. (I was a registered member a long while back but had to re-register for some reason) |
|
|
|
Post by BetsyMarie on Dec 14, 2009 12:44:09 GMT -5
<<Are there others recovering from squalor and have managed to completely transform their life and rid themselves of the squalor once and for all?>>
I worry about this myself. I've decluttered the house before, but have slid back again. While it seems different this time (the clearing out of stuff) I wonder what will happen when my enthusiasum wanes, as it will. I dont want to totally slip back again.
I know people recover successfully from all sorts of dysfunctions. People lose weight and keep it off. People stop drinking and drugging, and remain sober. I think the odds of recovery are not all that great, but recognizing and accepting there is a problem is a big first step.
As with some other recoveries, it's not the initial kicking the habit that is the hardest, it's the maintaining the staus quo. I have no answers obviously, because I've always failed. But it sure is time to try something different, perhaps accepting that doing regular housework/tidying up everyday is essential and desired instead of something to be resisted and avoided.
|
|
|
|
Post by breakingfree on Dec 14, 2009 12:45:27 GMT -5
Hi messymum,
I have recovered from squalor and am in maintenance. I too am scared to death of regressing so sometimes I can get a bit obsessive. The main thing for me is routine. I go through the mail daily, make sure that the dishes are done each night, that I regularly take out the trash/recycling, and do a load of clothes every night or every other night depending on how much is dirty. I also pick a task to do each night so I don't have to spend the whole weekend cleaning. For example, I will sweep and mop the downstairs on Monday, vacuum the upstairs on Tuesday, clean the upstairs bathroom on Wednesday, clean the downstairs bathroom on Thursday, dust downstairs on Friday, dust upstairs on Saturday, etc. Following a routine like that really helps because if I don't, I don't really "see" the mess until it is already there. I sometimes think, "The toilet doesn't look bad," but hey, the toilet isn't SUPPOSED to look bad before I clean it!!!!
I hope this gives you some ideas,
BF
|
|
messymum
New Member
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 27
|
Post by messymum on Dec 14, 2009 19:30:49 GMT -5
yes you are right! it is the maintenance that is difficult. I do find myself wearing myself out cleaning though because i don't EVER want to go back to before. I guess that feeling of panic may pass eventually. (I hope!)
|
|
|
|
Post by moggyfan on Dec 14, 2009 20:17:12 GMT -5
I have been out of squalor for about four years. Many of my maintenance tasks are routine now (dishes, laundry, garbage, recycling, hanging up clothes, dealing with mail, etc.), but I remain *very vigilant.*
It is only recently that I have begun to relax a bit and realize I can leave a dish or two in the sink overnight because I really, really know I will do them in the a.m. before I leave the house.
|
|
|
|
Post by lettinggo on Dec 15, 2009 4:02:12 GMT -5
Are there others recovering from squalor and have managed to completely transform their life and rid themselves of the squalor once and for all? How do you manage to stay on track?
I think it is important for me to keep it in the day, just like a recovering alcoholic. TODAY I do not hoard. TODAY I am not living in squalor. If I start thinking about being "cured", or being rid of it once and for all, then I am setting myself up.
|
|
messymum
New Member
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 27
|
Post by messymum on Dec 15, 2009 8:42:40 GMT -5
hmmm that's a good way to look at it lettinggo. I guess that's all we can do is live our lives one day at a time. I have 2 little ones though and that changes my outlook some. I really am NOT going back to the squalor. NOT EVER. it's been 14 months so here's hoping I can just maintain indefinitely! (fingers crossed!)
|
|
|
|
Post by 60isolderthanithot on Dec 15, 2009 11:51:44 GMT -5
Messymum, I've noted before that grief therapy seemed to generalize into a remedy for ALL my various life concerns, including cluttering and squalor. Maybe "squalorizing" is just one of the many things people do in reaction to stress? Maybe that's why there's so much emotional charge behind seemingly ordinary things like washing dishes or making beds. Something else is going on underneath.
Sooooo - it's easy to guess that maybe changes in the stress-reaction might also signal changes in the stress itself or in the pattern of stress reactions? These things can go deep. There's an old saying that a cat also avoids a COLD stove after being burned. Maybe whatever drove the cluttering hasn't been solved, even if the cluttering has. Which means maybe your inner self is looking for somewhere to put the stress relief mechanisms which cluttering used to house.
Lots of questions arose once I began thinking like that. A lot of weirdly unrelated things came into clearer focus.
|
|
recovering
New Member
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 14
|
Post by recovering on Dec 15, 2009 17:57:20 GMT -5
Routine, routine, routine for me. The more tasks I can get on auto-pilot so I no longer need to think about them, the better things get. I'm eager for my daughter to stop being terrified of the vacuum cleaner so I can work that back into my routine... I've had to drop it and only vacuum when I can convince her father to take her out of the apartment so our carpets are kinda gross right now.
|
|
messymum
New Member
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 27
|
Post by messymum on Dec 18, 2009 9:40:22 GMT -5
60isolderthanithot- that's funny you mentioned grief as that is what led to my downward spiral. I am finding it a really common denominator in alot of folks issues too. recovering- yes routine is the key I think. then it just becomes second nature!  |
|
