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Post by tinymews on Dec 23, 2009 8:25:40 GMT -5
I am able to wash the dinner dishes and put them away and clean up after myself when I'm downstairs in my mom-in-laws apt. (where we unofficially live), but can't clean things up in my apt. upstairs? Is it b/c I have someone to be accountable to??? (If I don't do things, I have to hear her yelling/complaining, etc.) Why is it easier to keep her place clean that it is my own? Any thoughts?
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Post by Chris on Dec 23, 2009 8:39:19 GMT -5
It could be just easier to do there because it's your MILs place. It is funny you should mention this ... it brings up my own MIL/dishes history. My MIL and FIL lived with us for 5 years. It was her habit to always wash the dishes immediately (not me I used to let them pile up for days) so for 5 years I got used to this -- I'd help too out of ? guilt/responsibility.... And now they've been moved out for a year and a half but not a day goes by that I don't wash dishes promptly or at least never let them sit overnight which is a big improvement for me. I now realize that part of getting it done is simply: habit. Habits are strong things once firmly in place  . The other part is that I now enjoy having the sink clean and the counters ready for my next cooking or whatever, so I consider doing the dishes to be a gift to myself -- a calming and nice kitchen to come into -- and I think "I'm worth it". We don't have a lot of money but having things neat is an option that doesn't cost much and makes me sometimes feel rich.  Just my rambling thoughts here. |
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Dec 23, 2009 11:59:56 GMT -5
Here are some of the reasons that would be true for me:
MIL's place is tidier, so you "get more bang for your buck."
You're not as caught up in strong emotions about the clutter.
Since you can stop whenever you want to, it doesn't "feel like stringing beads with no knot on the end."
Your MIL keeps you company and appreciates the help.
You're not as habituated to the clutter, so you notice the difference more, which gives you more emotional "bang for your buck," plus it's easier to figure out what needs to be done.
Your MIL's working conditions are more pleasant.
For me, the strong emotions are the biggest reason. I have often pretended that my clutter isn't mine, to manage my emotions. Works really well, especially if I wear gloves, so it doesn't feel like mine, either.
If you ponder this question as you work along, you might come up with your own answers. Once you find your own reasons, you can figure out how to bring them home with you.
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Post by messymimi on Dec 23, 2009 19:52:59 GMT -5
For me, it is always easier to clean someone else's place.
When I finish there, I think of it as a job done. Completed. Finished. I can walk away, and don't have to watch it being undone.
Here, I literally see the deterioration, it is never all "done." I am starting to do stuff anyway, viewing the fact that is is never done as job security. That way I laugh instead of cry, and do it anyway.
messymimi
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Dec 24, 2009 14:59:08 GMT -5
That's a really good point messymini!
I also think that part of it may be the added pressure of needing to keep up appearances when another person is around, whereas, in your own place, you are more relaxed. I know i don't do a single thing until I absolutely HAVE to.
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Post by BetsyMarie on Dec 24, 2009 16:32:04 GMT -5
I also am very good when visiting other peoples' homes. I would never think of not picking up something I'd dropped, or not cleaning a tiny spill. Yet in my own home? Forget it. If I were as neat here, there would be no problem with clutter.
Perhaps it's a matter of knowing a small mess doenst matter that much to me vs assuming the other people would expect it to be cleaned in their home. And yet I really hate the end result of all the little messes I leave.
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Post by grammea on Dec 24, 2009 16:36:31 GMT -5
That is exactly the way I fee messymini!
I used to clean houses for a living.
Once I was done, I was done.
As just about everyone has mentioned,it also wasn't my "stuff" so I didn't have any emotional attachment.
God bless,
Helen(grammea)
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Post by Fivecat on Dec 24, 2009 23:11:11 GMT -5
We don't have a lot of money but having things neat is an option that doesn't cost much and makes me sometimes feel rich. wow. WOW. wow. I always said this about manners. That no matter how poor you are, you can always be polite. I never once associated it to house keeping, but it certainly applies. Thanks so much. After being here for a number of years, the aha moments can come kinda few and far between. This is truly one. Fivecat |
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