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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 17, 2012 0:45:54 GMT -5
"A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”--Mary Karr, The Liars' Club
"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 Years.'”--Erma Bombeck
"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.”--Unknown
"That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another."--Adlai Stevenson
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Post by ramatama on Oct 17, 2012 11:30:09 GMT -5
"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”
"I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push."
-- Rodney Dangerfield
There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure.
-- Anonymous
First we are children to our parents, then parents to our children, then parents to our parents, then children to our children.
--Milton Greenblatt
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 18, 2012 12:17:14 GMT -5
"Some family trees have beautiful leaves, and some have just a bunch of nuts. But remember, it is the nuts that make the tree worth shaking."--Unknown"Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet--there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires."--Marcelene Cox"Something magical happens when parents turns into grandparents. Their attitude changes from 'money-doesn't-grow-on-trees' to spending it like it does."--Paul Linden  Ramatama, I laughed and laughed when I read your first quote contribution. (I think that particular family tree must be right outside my hospital window.) And isn't the one about teenagers too true! If I knew as much now as I did as a teenager, I'd be the smartest person in the world. 
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Post by messymimi on Oct 18, 2012 14:12:07 GMT -5
“If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.” ~ Anon.
“There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will.” ~ Anon.
To that last one may i add, a spouse who can cook, and does, but leaves the mess for me!
messymimi
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Post by Di on Oct 18, 2012 14:51:05 GMT -5
“
“There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will.” ~ Anon.
To that last one may i add, a spouse who can cook, and does, but leaves the mess for me!
messymimi And why is it that what takes you ONE pot to make, when made by a cooking spouse, suddenly dirties up EVERY pot and pan in the kitchen and most of the dishes? |
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 19, 2012 13:37:17 GMT -5
"Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off."--Ralph Bus"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks--but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."--Jeff Foxworthy"Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”--Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid  Mimi! My old quote buddy! Thank you for the marvelous contributions. And yes, why is it that men (or partners or kids or roommates) will cook, use twice the number of pots and pans you would use, and then leave the mess for you to clean up? One of the great mysteries of life. . .
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Post by ramatama on Oct 19, 2012 15:32:37 GMT -5
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.” ---Stephen Bishop
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” --Groucho Marx
“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.” --Victor Borge
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”--Ambrose Bierce
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” --Mark Twain
“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” --P J ORourke
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” --Ellen DeGeneres
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 20, 2012 23:40:18 GMT -5
"There are two things that a child will share willingly--commmunicable diseases and its mother's age."--Benjamin Spock"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”--Erma Bombeck"From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”--Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeThank you for some more great quotes, ramatama!
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 21, 2012 13:40:03 GMT -5
"Before most people start boasting about their family tree, they usually do a good pruning job."--O. A. Battista
"Never raise your hand to your children--it leaves your midsection unprotected."--Red Buttons
"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."--Charles Wadsworth
"Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other."--Laurence J Peter
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 22, 2012 0:37:44 GMT -5
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."--Ogden Nash
"I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom.”--Bob Hope
"The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old."--Jean Kerr
"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."--Robert Orben
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 23, 2012 0:49:55 GMT -5
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."--Cary Grant
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."--Phyllis Diller
"My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them."--Rita Rudner
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Post by Freedom on Oct 23, 2012 15:44:37 GMT -5
"I knew I needed to get out more when I found myself spinning out my conversation with the Fuller Brush Man -- because he wasn't 5!" -- my mom
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Oct 24, 2012 0:06:54 GMT -5
"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."--Sam Levenson"I advise thee to visit thy relations and friends; but I advise thee not to live too near to them."--Thomas Fuller"Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die."--Bill CosbyFreedom13, isn't it amazing to look back on different things our parents have said and realize just how right they were? (Or if not right, just how funny?) Thank you for sharing your mom's insight with us. 
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Post by ramatama on Oct 24, 2012 8:28:41 GMT -5
a personal true quote, translated from German:
I knew I had been a SAM (to 3 children then 5,4 and 2) too long when the gentleman next to me (at a conference dinner) said to me that he could cut his meat all by himself, but thanked me very much all the same.
DH's cousin, (now grandma to 3 boys, 5, 5 and 2)
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Post by ramatama on Oct 24, 2012 8:41:54 GMT -5
since we are in-laws and have them too and are about to visit some, here are a few I found in my collection:
“English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.”
--unknown
“The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she was a daughter-in-law”
--unknown
“Of all the peoples whom I have studied, from city dwellers to cliff dwellers, I always find that at least 50 percent would prefer to have at least one jungle between themselves and their mothers-in-law.”
--Margaret Mead
Often new husbands and wives assume they’ll be loved and accepted by in-laws on the merit of having married the in-laws’ child. --Romie Hurley
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