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Post by disorganizeddragon on Mar 30, 2013 3:32:43 GMT -5
"...If you don't have peace, it isn't because someone took it from you; you gave it away. You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you."--John Maxwell
True for some perhaps, but depression and other emotional troubles in my life have definitely been uncontrollable. I am powerless! Probably why I have so much trouble accepting any version of "create your own reality". I am on the lower end of the spectrum of controlling myself in many ways. ::bigwave::Angela, I too have always had doubts about much of the "create your own reality" movement. ("You too can be rich and thin with shiny gorgeous hair and perfect teeth if you only just believe!") But dealing with my own depression and, more importantly, watching family members and friends deal with theirs, has taught me one very important thing: Depression wants us to believe we are powerless. Depression wants us to believe we have absolutely no control. But we are not powerless and those of us that suffer from depression can find ways to control it. It's certainly not easy and it takes a great deal of work, but it can be done. (Many experts and researchers have also reached the same conclusions and I've tried to include some of their thoughts on this month's thread.) I tried many different things to deal with my own depression before finally deciding to use acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and Qigong to control my symptoms. There were days I felt okay and I even occasionally had a really good day now and then. But there were a lot of days that my depression did everything it could to trip me up and convince me that nothing I did would work--not now, not later, not short-term, not long-term, not ever. There were days I listened to the depression (and that's why I've got a storage area and an apartment so full of stuff that I could decorate five flea bag motels and have the U.N. over for coffee ). But every day I ignored the Demon of Doom and Gloom and went to acupuncture, took the herbs, did my exercises, etc., I felt a little better. (Sometimes I only felt better because I was able to ignore the depression demon by mentally duct taping his mouth shut for a day, but hey, it was something.) A few years ago, another board member (I deeply apologize for not remembering who it was) recommended a wonderful book that has helped me greatly and perhaps it may help you (and any others who read this thread) as well. The book is called Get It Done When You're Depressed by Julie Fast and John Preston. It's a quick read with very short chapters and full of great tips that are practical and easy to do (which is exactly what you need when fighting depression). I encourage you to check it out to see if it might be something you'd find useful in your own battles with this illness. Remember, your depression wants you to give up and go without a fight--that's how it wins. I know exactly how persuasive that evil little brat can be. But you can learn to fight back and control it, whether it's through medication, meditation, therapy, exercise, diet, journaling, reading, acupuncture, etc.--just don't quit. (And as for the quotes, I know that not everything will apply to or help everyone. If you've found help or inspiration in any of the quotes I've posted this month, I'm glad they've helped even a small bit. )
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 30, 2013 11:49:34 GMT -5
"...If you don't have peace, it isn't because someone took it from you; you gave it away. You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you."--John Maxwell True for some perhaps, but depression and other emotional troubles in my life have definitely been uncontrollable. I am powerless! Probably why I have so much trouble accepting any version of "create your own reality". I am on the lower end of the spectrum of controlling myself in many ways. ::bigwave::Angela, I too have always had doubts about much of the "create your own reality" movement. ("You too can be rich and thin with shiny gorgeous hair and perfect teeth if you only just believe!") But dealing with my own depression and, more importantly, watching family members and friends deal with theirs, has taught me one very important thing: Depression wants us to believe we are powerless. Depression wants us to believe we have absolutely no control. But we are not powerless and those of us that suffer from depression can find ways to control it. It's certainly not easy and it takes a great deal of work, but it can be done. (Many experts and researchers have also reached the same conclusions and I've tried to include some of their thoughts on this month's thread.) ... Remember, your depression wants you to give up and go without a fight--that's how it wins. I know exactly how persuasive that evil little brat can be. But you can learn to fight back and control it, whether it's through medication, meditation, therapy, exercise, diet, journaling, reading, accupuncture, etc.--just don't quit. First of all, yeah, I agree with Dragoness on this:I too have always had doubts about much of the "create your own reality" movement. ("You too can be rich and thin with shiny gorgeous hair and perfect teeth if you only just believe! ") Yeah, that type of drivel makes me want to scream and throw things! Regarding "powerlessness" ... I'm going to reply from my own perspective and my LIMITED understanding/interpretation of 12-step concepts.
The 12-Step movement talks about being "powerless" over the problem, but that is in a different context.
When I look at dictionaries from the time period of 1910-1935 -- I can see the language usage that would have been familiar to the writers of the original literature of Alcoholic Anonymous.
According to the dictionaries from 100 years ago:- In those days, "powerless" didn't mean "helpless".
- In those days, "powerless" meant "unable to have an effect".
To translate those definitions to the intent of the AA authors of the 1930's:- We are powerless over (unable to have any effect on) the specific compulsion, if we keep doing things the way we used to do them!
Twelve-step literature talks about "acceptance" that we have a problem that needs changing, and that our old ways of coping weren't working. Twelve-step literature does NOT mean submitting to "helplessness"! THEREFORE ...- If we CHANGE our approach and get HELP (advice/inspiration/practical action steps) from a "power greater than our own prior thinking" ... then there IS hope for change. The "power greater" could be any perspective bigger than the box we've been confining ourselves in. This "source" could be whatever is appropriate for your own personal philosophy. Bill W. said: "Why not think of your own concept".
A 12step writer once said that we need a two-prong approach to get our boat safely through the Sea of Distress to the Shore of Freedom on the other side:- We ourselves have to row the boat (use the oars of taking action steps!)
- but we don't rely on the broken part of our brains to navigate -- because would cause spinning about without any movement toward the intended direction.
- We seek the "power greater" (inspiration/wisdom) help us "navigate" safely and more efficiently.
- but we don't just sit there in the boat and expect the "power greater" to move us. The "power greater" is only for navigation.
Wow, I didn't mean to go on so long! I think we are all saying the same thing but using different language to convey the ideas.
I tried many different things to deal with my own depression before finally deciding to use acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and Qigong to control my symptoms. There were days I felt okay and I even occasionally had a really good day now and then. But there were a lot of days that my depression did everything it could to trip me up and convince me that nothing I did would work--not now, not later, not short-term, not long-term, not ever. There were days I listened to the depression (and that's why I've got a storage area and an apartment so full of stuff that I could decorate five flea bag motels and have the U.N. over for coffee ). But every day I ignored the Demon of Doom and Gloom and went to accupuncture, took the herbs, did my exercises, etc., I felt a little better. (Sometimes I only felt better because I was able to ignore the depression demon by mentally duct taping his mouth shut for a day, but hey, it was something.) I've been treated with acupuncture for stress-relief and for healing from grief. I've found it ENORMOUSLY helpful. [End interlude of long rambling discussion. We now return you to QUOTES !]
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 30, 2013 11:57:05 GMT -5
A few years ago, another board member (I deeply apologize for not remembering who it was) recommended a wonderful book that has helped me greatly and perhaps it may help you (and any others who read this thread) as well. The book is called Get It Done When You're Depressed by Julie Fast and John Preston. It's a quick read with very short chapters and full of great tips that are practical and easy to do (which is exactly what you need when fighting depression). I encourage you to check it out to see if it might be something you'd find useful in your own battles with this illness. It was Script who recommended the book. Here is Script's review, with some tips from the book: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/5517/ideas-get-when-depressed
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Mar 30, 2013 23:50:55 GMT -5
"If you're going through hell, keep going."--Winston Churchill
“Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.”--Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
"One ceases to recognize the significance of mountain peaks if they are not viewed occasionally from the deepest valleys."--Al Lorin
“Keep memories of insult on a short leash, and memories of blessing on a long one.”--Alan Cohen
"As we light a path for others, we naturally light our own way."--Mary Anne Radmacher
"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."--Harriet Beecher Stowe
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."--Mother Teresa
"I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go thru build character, making you a much stronger person."--Rita Mero
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know that just to be alive is a grand thing."--Agatha Christie Thank you, Lioness. As I was typing the title of the book recommendation last night and desperately trying--without success--to remember who originally recommended it, I thought to myself, "I bet Lioness will either remember this thread or have it somewhere in her records."
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Mar 31, 2013 23:39:28 GMT -5
“Give me the discipline to get rid of the stuff that's not important, the freedom to savor the stuff that gives me joy, and the patience not to worry about the stuff that's messy but not hurting anybody.”--Vinita Hampton Wright, Simple Acts of Moving Forward: A Little Book About Getting Unstuck
Clutter. Most of us have it and most of us need to get rid of some, if not all, of it. But for a lot of us here at SOoS, that's much easier said than done. We want to let it go, but an irritating little voice in our head keeps giving us a million reasons as to why we should hang on to every little thing or we're simply overhelmed at the thought of even beginning to sort thru all the piles and pyramids of stuff that has accumulated in our home.
So this month's quotes are about clutter--and some inspiration about how and why to get rid of it. After all, spring is a great time to have a garage sale! (Just don't tell me when you'll be having it--please.)
"Clutter is stuck energy. The word 'clutter' derives from the Middle English word 'clotter,' which means to coagulate--and that's about as stuck as you can get."--Karen Kingston
"When things aren't adding up in your life, start subtracting."--Unknown
“The point is, you need to distinguish between what honestly moves you and what the world is telling you should melt your heart. If something doesn’t reach you on a personal level, let it go. It’s hard enough dealing with everything that does.”--Judi Culbertson, The Clutter Cure: Three Steps to Letting Go of Stuff, Organizing Your Space & Creating the Home of Your Dreams
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"--Steven Wright
“Let your home be your mast and not your anchor.”--Kahlil Gibran
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Post by angela on Apr 1, 2013 0:22:25 GMT -5
DD, I so appreciate the wonderful quotes this last month. I was given some new points of view and some hopeful ideas as well.
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Post by ramatama on Apr 1, 2013 7:02:43 GMT -5
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist” ~Franklin P. Jones (Amer. Businessman 1887-1929) "Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. " ~Albert Einstein(1879-1955)
"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." ~Henry David Thoreau
"Everything we possess that is not necessary for life or happiness becomes a burden, and scarcely a day passes that we do not add to it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it. ~Donald Horban
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Post by ClutterBlind on Apr 1, 2013 10:38:07 GMT -5
I think the "create your own reality" movement is more about changing your attitude. People can't change anything if their attitude and beliefs don't change first. Every thought and movement begins with the mind.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Apr 1, 2013 14:25:55 GMT -5
Clutterblind, I do agree that our attitudes and beliefs must improve if we want to see any lasting change in our lives. But I take issue with the "create your own reality" movements that espouse that change can be brought about completely by your thoughts--no physical work required--and that do not take a person's circumstances (i.e. mental or physical health, age, geography, economic circumstance, etc.) into account. (I believe these movements were also what Lioness and Angela were referring to, but I do not want to speak for them.) For example, I have a sweet neighbor who is devoted follower of one of the most popular "create your own reality" movements. He is about 100 lbs. overweight, yet truly and honestly believes that if he simply continues to visualize and reaffirm his weight loss, he will become thinner. Of course, he's been visualizing and reaffirming this impending loss for over two years and has not changed his dietary or exercise habits in any significant way, so it'll come as no surprise when I say he's not making much progress. I realize the John Maxwell quote may have upset Angela because depressed people are constantly told to "snap out of it" or to "quit dwelling on the negative--think positive thoughts." For someone with a bad case of the blues or even low-grade depression, this might be possible and help them to feel better, but for those with severe clinical depression, well, you might as well have told them to fly around the world--without a plane. For them, retraining the brain to stop dwelling on the negative is merely the first step in a long trip. But again, I agree with you that it's a critically important step, because if you don't believe you can get better (or clean the house or throw away the junk or lose the weight or whatever), you won't. You just have to be willing to put in the rest of the work (like changing the tire on the car ).
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Apr 2, 2013 0:21:52 GMT -5
"Don't own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire."--Wendell Berry, Farming: a hand book
“The trouble with, 'A place for everything and everything in its place' is that there's always more everything than places.”--Robert Brault
“Clutter is postponed decisions.”--Barbara Hemphill
"Your house is your home only when you feel you have jurisdiction over the space."--Joan Kron
"If you look at your entire house as one unit of junk, you'll never do anything because the job is too overwhelming. Take it one drawer at a time."--Janet Luhrs
Hey Ramatama! Thanks for all the great quote contributions. (I guess it would be a little difficult to put together a YouTube song list on clutter. )
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Post by ramatama on Apr 2, 2013 10:50:51 GMT -5
Hey Ramatama! Thanks for all the great quote contributions. (I guess it would be a little difficult to put together a YouTube song list on clutter. ) ...hmmm now that is a challenge! in the meantime, I found a funny: thedoghousediaries.com/4707
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Post by seashell on Apr 2, 2013 10:58:14 GMT -5
Boy, I can relate to that funny, ramatama!
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Post by Di on Apr 2, 2013 11:01:35 GMT -5
My goal is to try to distinguish between sentiment and sediment and to prevent the former from becoming the latter. (Di's Rule)
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Post by ramatama on Apr 2, 2013 11:16:04 GMT -5
(these songs could be basis of spoofs for our "collection".)
Here is a start:
Deniece Williams + Tom Jones: Too Much, Too Little, Too late
Mitzi Gaynor and cast : I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair
Frou Frou: Let Go
Dolly Parton: We Got Too Much
not meaning to be contrary here, but this just popped in my mind..
Alan Jackson:Who Says You Can't Have It All
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 2, 2013 11:58:01 GMT -5
How about this ... "You're all I need to get by" written by the dynamic songwriting team Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson (recorded by Tammi Terrell and Marvin Gaye in 1968).
I see these lyrics as ...
You sisters and brothers here at SOS -- (with support from my true friends and/or true family and higherpower) are all i REALLY need to get by.
I need YOU, and I don't need the STUFF. I can sacrifice the Stuff.
(I changed the word "darling" to "dear friends") (First paragraph includes addition to lyrics from Aretha Franklin)
"You're all I need to get by" by Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson
And here's Aretha Franklin singing it:
link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sygqn3MaSSg
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