MiSC
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Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Apr 9, 2010 21:47:21 GMT -5
We needed to get a toy for a birthday party tomorrow. I told Sean we were going to Target to get his friend a present. Mr. MiSC came home and I told him, and he hinted that he'd rather stay home, but something in me came rushing up and I said no, that we'd all better go.
I was trying sooo hard to NOT BUY ANYTHING. I was doing really, really well. There was a possibility of buying a booster seat, but they didn't have the one we wanted, so that was out. We got the toy. Then we headed to the stationery area to pick up wrapping paper and a card. But on the way...
I spotted something I'd had my eye on for weeks. An iced tea maker. I'm trying to wean myself off Cokes and that kind of sugar, and I'm hoping to eventually get to unsweetened iced tea. And there it was. $19.99.
I grabbed it.
You don't know... I was gripping that basket handle like crazy and just repeating "I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it...." in my head. I didn't tell Mr. MiSC what was going on, or why I needed him there, but if I'd gone alone it would have been disastrous, even though I'd JUST been looking at our money and realizing that we're really up a creek right now.
But I still bought the iced tea maker. Part of me was feeling so relieved, but part of me was feeling so guilty. Do other people feel like this? I used to have an acting teacher who called us "actors" and everone else "civilians." I feel like employing that language now. Do civilians have these conflicting feelings over iced tea makers?
And don't even ask if I'm taking it back. Guilt or no guilt, I know quite well that it's staying here.
I don't know if I was sweating because I'm fat and I was walking, or if I was breaking a sweat because I was nervous, but I really was sweating. Even now my breathing is a little ragged, and we left the store an hour ago.
So, so far, I've failed the test. I didn't make it out of Target unscathed, and I was really, really trying.
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Post by moggyfan on Apr 9, 2010 21:57:48 GMT -5
ONLY because of your signature line will I say this:
If you were completely serious about not making an extra purchase in Target, you would not have had the extra $20 (or the CC or debit card) with you.
Bringing your husband along does not seem much of a preventive measure if he didn't know why he was there.
There. I'm sorry this sounds harsh....but you asked for it :-)
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Apr 9, 2010 22:08:59 GMT -5
ONLY because of your signature line will I say this: If you were completely serious about not making an extra purchase in Target, you would not have had the extra $20 (or the CC or debit card) with you. Bringing your husband along does not seem much of a preventive measure if he didn't know why he was there. There. I'm sorry this sounds harsh....but you asked for it :-) It never even OCCURRED to me to leave the card behind. Not one fleeting thought. I'd read it here, but I just grabbed the bag and went. Ditto taking cash. I'd have needed the card to get the cash anyway, but whatever. It wasn't done. And you're right about Mr. MiSC, but while I knew I wouldn't go completely overboard with him there, I was also kind of keeping the reason for his presense a secret from him. I know that now. If I'd told him, then he probably would have said, "Honey, you don't need that." But I know darned well I would have argued with him about it! I neeeeeeeeeded a consession. ANY consession. I was already pushing it with the wrapping paper though, because I suspect there's paper in this house that would have done the job. I bought it though, because a) I don't know where it is, and b) I don't know what kind of condition it's in. But I had to have (BUY) just oooonnnneee thing before leaving the store. I should count my blessings. The paycheck has been in the bank for half a day and I haven't bought an ornament yet. And believe me, I've thought about it. I did think more about that tree I want though. No can do. Not unless I suddenly have $5000 drop in my lap for the floor. I'm rambling. I need to tell Mr. MiSC why he's there. Or I need to tell him now why he was there. But he's going to ask about the tea maker. I'm kind of freaking out.
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MiSC
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Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Apr 9, 2010 22:13:04 GMT -5
I should count my blessings. The paycheck has been in the bank for half a day and I haven't bought an ornament yet. And believe me, I've thought about it. THAT'S IT!! I was just rereading what I wrote. I bought the iced tea maker because I didn't buy an ornament! Now I have to figure out how I got it into my head that I deserve to buy myself something every pay day.
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Post by moggyfan on Apr 9, 2010 22:19:28 GMT -5
Eh, live & learn. I feel a tad hypocritical saying anything to tell you the truth, since I have spent more money this week than I had any real reason to. And, for better or worse, there's no Mr. Moggyfan to put the brakes on.
Maybe as a first step, you can give yourself advance permission to make one "extra" purchase for a set amount before you go to a store (e.g., you will get what's on the list + one item under X $ amount.)
And/or Shop less frequently.
And/or Tell Mr. MiSC why he's along for the ride.
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Blackswan
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Post by Blackswan on Apr 9, 2010 22:31:30 GMT -5
I love the thought of non-squalorees being called civilians! I genuinely laughed at loud at that. I think that maybe, as you are weaning yourself off of buying extra purchases, you can designate a small amount of "mad money" which is basically your money to waste, just for the fun of spending it. Some civilians do that. Also, a lot of civilians would have went ahead and bought the ice tea maker. If it was something you genuinely have been thinking about, and you saw it, it wasn't an impulse purchase, even though you weren't expecting to buy it that day. I don't think its fair to hold yourself up to higher standards than civilians. They aren't super strict with their purchases. Even if you have a problem, I think you may still be able to give yourself a little leeway, as long as you designate what the leeway is, and its in your preplanned budget.
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Post by eatingbonbons on Apr 9, 2010 22:36:41 GMT -5
Something to think about (assuming you have a weekly pay day):
If you don't buy an iced tea maker every pay day, you can have a new floor in five years. If you don't buy a $100 ornament every pay day, you can have a new floor in one year.
Just sayin'.
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Post by success19 on Apr 10, 2010 1:29:02 GMT -5
If you have the receipt - take back the tea maker. Or take back some other things. Or take things to a pawn shop and sell them to pay for the tea maker. Actually soda is expensive - so if you replace it with tea - it could save money. It's about priorities. Really thinking things through. I know I am tossing out stuff like crazy - and thinking - why did I buy that? If it is still in the box - you can take it back. If you kept the receipt.
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beeble
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 9
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Post by beeble on Apr 10, 2010 6:30:13 GMT -5
Ok, forgive me but first... what is an iced tea maker and why does it cost $19.99? I bought an 'iced tea maker' a few years ago for $2.99... a Rubbermaid pitcher to pour hot water and teabags into to steep and then put in the fridge.
Second, I don't think there's anything wrong with treating yourself to something when you get paid - you worked for the money, after all. However, if money is tight and you don't want to acquire something (instead of going to a show or movie or taking a friend you don't see out to lunch one weekend as your 'reward' for working to earn the paycheck), then why not try considering your reward to be saving?
You could make a chart leading to something expensive that you really want and divide it into squares for each paycheck you earn and put that amount into a specific account or something. Then your reward is getting that much closer to the big goal.
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Post by lostagain on Apr 10, 2010 6:38:34 GMT -5
I do this too. I get stubborn in my head and think..."I work hard, I DESERVE this" - as if my life is some barren wasteland without it, as if it will magically produce happiness to simply own it. Its tied up with a lot of things in my head, and one of the nastier ones (for me) - I love thrift stores - and I will actually think, I don't want anyone else to have this. Only I can provide the love/care/attention/use this item deserves, no one else is capable of it. I sure wish I had some good advice for you.
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Post by messymimi on Apr 10, 2010 6:47:48 GMT -5
These fights are never easy.
An envelope system might help. From each check get cash for all groceries and put it in an envelope. Never go to the store with the debit card and only with enough cash for planned purchases.
It may take time, but you can win this fight.
messymimi
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Post by lostagain on Apr 10, 2010 6:51:23 GMT -5
Actually another thing that has been helping me is writing down every single cent that I spend. And I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE. Just like a food journal, it makes me MUCH more aware of where my money is going, and that does help. For me, most of my overspending is now on disposable items, like going out to eat. :/ I don't know if that is better or worse than buying something I will "have" for a long time!
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 10, 2010 7:44:52 GMT -5
Yeah I was confused about the ice tea maker too. I read this thread late last night and thought I had missed something, so here I am trying again on Saturday morning. I'm still wondering what this maker is, and will have to google it. It's probably from the same family as the hot chocolate maker.
I realize that the point is not the object, but that you broke down and bought something when you said you wouldn't.
I think returning it is a good idea. Then you will have the money again, and you will remind yourself it wasn't really worth the trouble.
If some people are in the habit of treating themselves everytime they get a paycheck, does that mean that people who get paid once a month get less treats than people who are paid weekly? Or people who get paid after each job? And what about self employed construction workers who sometimes only get paid three or four months after a job? Seems like some people are getting a lot more treats than others. And how on earth are those others surviving without treats?
Of course I'm being silly.,.. but seriously, there is no reason that we need to reward ourselves for doing what puts food on our table and pays our bills. We need to work. If we choose to treat ourselves sometimes, then we should. But it is important that it doesn't become a routine "just because" we got the paycheck.
p, s: Are you able to do this? I have asked for "direct deposit", so I don't always notice or remember when the money arrives at my account. Out of sight, out of mind.
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Post by brightbeginning on Apr 10, 2010 8:01:13 GMT -5
MISC-just go ahead and enjoy the tea maker! Stop stressing about it. You said you wanted to stop drinking Coke, and thought that the tea maker could help you without adding sugar, so just think of it that you are doing something healthy for your body. Enjoy!!
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Post by eagle on Apr 10, 2010 8:33:25 GMT -5
MiSC, I have 2 of those Iced Tea makers. Why? Because I used to live in 2 different places and needed one in each place. I used them all the time when I first had them. However, they now sit in the cupboards (no, only one sits in the cupboards, I donated one of them when we moved) and I make iced tea the old fashioned way, in a pitcher. For those who don't know these automated Iced Tea Makers are, here is a link with a picture. Here is another way I have helped myself to diminish my spending and the amount of stuff in my home. Soon after joining Squalor Survivors, I established my own personal "One In - Two Out" Rule. And I still use that rule. So I've been doing this for almost 6 years now and I can attest to its effectiveness in changing my shopping behaviors. This is how it works for me: When I buy something in a store, whether I needed it or not, whether I planned to purchase it or not, as soon as I go home, or within the next day, I choose 2 like items to remove from my home. If it is clothing, I get rid of 2 items of clothing of the same type. One blouse in - 2 blouses out. One piece of luggage in - 2 pieces of luggage out. One pair of shoes in - 2 pair of shoes out. And they have to be MY things, if it was something I bought for me. One kitchen item in - 2 kitchen items out. Even when it is a planned purchase or a replacement of something that needed to be replaced, I toss or donate the item I am replacing PLUS something extra of a similar nature. It takes discipline, but it has become a habit and has really helped me to curb my wasteful spending, with a bonus to help declutter my home. The only exception is food. I don't toss out 2 food items for every head of lettuce I purchase. We need the food to survive. And I don't suppose I would suggest such a rule for prescription meds (that is unless one hoards old out-dated meds, which is an entirely different issue.)
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