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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Apr 29, 2010 14:13:22 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so unfair that so many women can get pregnant so easily, while others who would do anything to have a child cannot.
Keep looking for a project that will help fill that void.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 29, 2010 15:20:42 GMT -5
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 30, 2010 11:25:19 GMT -5
- Regarding the links I posted above ... I visited even more links of a similar nature -- for supporting people suffering from infertility/miscarriage issues ... and in all the links I found ... it is recommended ... that usually the best thing to say (to someone suffering from infertility/miscarriage issues) is the simple truth, as follows: "I don't know what to say, but I want you to know that I care." or "I'm thinking of you, and I'm here to listen. I would do anything to help, but I'm simply at a loss as to what to do or say." or "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I know this must be so hard. Sending love." or something as simple as "I am really sorry about your loss". Or words to that effect. The exact wording doesn't matter, as long as it's authentically from your heart. The main concept is that you're not trying to "fix" the person who is suffering, nor are you offering "reasons" why this is happening. " And in the end, the best thing any of us can say is that there are no words to say -- a statement that allows the other person to know that we're thinking of them, have heard their frustrations, and are simply abiding with them." -- Melissa "Mel" Ford (a.k.a. "Lollipop Goldstein"), author of the infertility and pregnancy loss blog called: " Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: dispatches from the Land of "if", Cities in between, and Points beyond". And don't feel you have to say the "perfect" thing. Just say that you care. Your love is what matters. (Clarification: I'm NOT trying to dictate what people should or shouldn't say in this thread or on this forum. Just offering ways to approach those of us with infertility/miscarriage issues. Ideas that may be helpful when meeting someone in real life who has these issues.
And ... from reading what everyone has already posted on this SOS thread, you all have clearly come from a place of loving concern, and that's what counts. So don't worry.)
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 30, 2010 11:55:02 GMT -5
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 30, 2010 12:19:19 GMT -5
- Okay wow, I've just read my above three posts. Sorry for the intensity. I need to mellow out. Apparently, I've been a wee bit too sensitive lately. But this isn't supposed to be about me.
This is for SerenityNow. Dear Serenity Sister, I don't have any answers. You know I often try to give detailed answers. But I just don't have any answers. I would google and try to find some answers. But of course, there are no answers. Instead, here is a big hug.
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Post by serenitynow on Apr 30, 2010 20:53:25 GMT -5
Thank you lioness and to everyone else who's supported me. I felt nothing but love from you all. serenitynow
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Post by mellowyellow on May 1, 2010 13:36:59 GMT -5
I really can relate. I always wished I would marry one day, but the single thing I've always wanted was to be a mother. It seems that regardless what path I've travelled in the last twenty five years of my life, it's not something that is going to happen anytime soon. And I'm one of the ones who has pursued the adoption route. While those around me welcome new children and get involved with amazing relationships, I wait... Waiting is hard because we just don't know if there is a positive end. I think we can do things to shape our future, but it's hard to do this when we see people who have been blessed with families telling us to be hopeful and to not give up. -------- There are more people on here feeling the same way as you. You are not alone.
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Post by isolated on May 1, 2010 18:15:49 GMT -5
Depression is a really hard thing to overcome but it can and does get better, trust me on this. One day you will look back and think to yourself, wow I am such a strong woman, look at all these different situations I have overcome, look how much I have been through and I am still alive and kicking to this very day.
Nothing in life is ever easy, bad things happen to good people all of the time but you wanna know something special, that people tend to over look....
It's makes us stronger, it makes us fight more to survive, it teaches us lessons we would have never learned had things not been the way they turned out and even though this is little comfort to you now, just look back through your future and see all the hard things you, yourself have overcome.
Next time you feel depression creeping in, Id suggest take a walk in the sunshine, eat and drink healthy things,listen to some music,bubble baths and try to change your mental picture and tell yourself that you are strong, you will learn something valuable from (whatever the issue may be) and you will overcome it like you have in the past.
I think you need to see that you are a strong woman, much stronger than you ever believed you were and when you feel like you cant take anymore, coming here helps.
People helped me so much in the past here that when I think back, I realize these people right here and my close friends are what got me through everything last year.
Whatever you do to overcome it, alcohol,drugs,isolation, over and under eating does nothing to help you. It creates a bigger problem and makes it hurt even worse. Remember to do something nice for yourself, dying your hair, painting your nails,watching your favorite movie,take a drive to a pretty place to unwind,solo picnics etc...so many things a person can do for themselves that is little to no cost involved and sometimes it drives those depression thoughts away.
I really hope everything turns out great for you. Huggles!!!
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