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Post by _Linda_ on May 4, 2010 20:28:13 GMT -5
I was looking forward to coming home this evening and cleaning the house some more. After dinner, I get some of the smelly trash out since tomorrow is trash day. As I sat here thinking about what I should do next, I kept looking at the love seat that the dog destroyed. So what do I do??? I decide that its going TONIGHT. So, I manhandle it out the door, almost breaking a window in the process. And as I am pushing it down the porch steps by myself, one of the neighbors drive by. Do they stop and ask if I need help??? NO!!!! Instead , they drive past and the wife looks away from me. I am just beside myself. I have never done anything to these people and for them to treat me like that just royally p***ed me off! Now, here I am, feeling defeated and unable to do anymore tonight. I feel like such a failure right now. And to make it worse, there was an entire garbage bag full of trash under the love seat. I manage to pick most of it up, but sat on the floor for quite a while just looking at that area and rocking myself. What did I do to deserve this?  |
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Post by Meme on May 4, 2010 20:35:12 GMT -5
hugs--- sigh--- I know what it is to be passed by with no help---even with the cancer I still have to struggle to get the things done--I get many promises and no shows--- I would have helped you and I know papa would have too--
but
you have done a great job and be proud of that---it is not you but the way society has become--folks just take care of themselves and walk by --hugs Meme
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Post by moggyfan on May 4, 2010 20:36:51 GMT -5
Aww, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. This desqualoring stuff is not for the faint of heart--but, guess what? That trashed love seat is GONE and so is all the trash that was underneath it! Woo-hoo!
As for those unhelpful neighbors--eh, who knows? Maybe they were having their own bad moment, maybe they were just all tuckered out, maybe they were just having a momentary lapse of charity. Forget them for now.
Revel in the fact that you got rid of a big ugly thing! Maybe have a nice drink of something (cocoa? coffee? coke? bourbon?) and take a hot shower. Sleep well. You have Conquered Today's Mess! You are Woman!
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Post by _Linda_ on May 4, 2010 20:38:08 GMT -5
Thank you so much, Meme. I will tell you the best part of this whole thing. Their yard looks like a junk yard!!! It is a health concern for everyone that lives around here. It is so bad that I hear from their own family that you can't walk through the yard. Their own family hates how trashy it looks!! How messed up is that??
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Post by _Linda_ on May 4, 2010 20:40:02 GMT -5
Thank you Moggy, I laughed at the borboun. But if I had any tonight, I don't think i would be going into work tomorrow.  |
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Post by binky on May 4, 2010 22:29:20 GMT -5
Oh, Linnie, just think of what you have accomplished by moving that all by yourself!!!!
Here is a song I made a point of going out to get to listen to when I accomplish something I never thought I would....you need to hear it....wish I knew how to insert the song instead of just the lyrics...
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again
CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul
CHORUS
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
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Post by binky on May 4, 2010 22:56:54 GMT -5
Look what I found on youtube! Yayyyyyy!
(Crossing my fingers that the link works).
My mom once drug an old large kitchen stove out of the house and down 8 steps and across the yard, and out to the alley. All by herself!
I think of her everytime I hear this song.
Where there's a will, there is a way! Now...go listen to that song, I'm passing it on to you and now it's yours.. be proud of what you've done!
Hugs,
Binky
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Post by Arid on May 4, 2010 23:14:25 GMT -5
linnie: You are making yourself upset by making assumptions about your neighbors. 1. Just because they drove by and the wife --at first--appeared to be looking in your direction does not necessarily mean that she *saw* you! I often can appear to be looking at something when, in fact, my mind is a million miles away. The neighbors honestly might not have noticed you at all. 2. Perhaps, they were too embarrassed to stop to offer to help you. Perhaps, they were afraid that you would mention their own mess in their yard and their need to clean up. 3. Perhaps, they have health issues that prevent them from helping to move large objects such as furniture. There are plenty of health issues that are "invisible" to most people--heart conditions, bad backs, arthritis, etc. I have a heart condition, but I often don't mention it to people until I get to know them really, really well. Come to think of it--I'll bet that not ONE of my neighbors knows about it!! Fortunately, it is not a "life-threatening" type thing; so, I usually don't bother to explain it to people unless I have an actual "episode" in their presence. While I'm not at risk (supposedly!!) of dying from it, I do become quite ill from it at times, and it does limit what I am able to do. 4. Perhaps, they were "dressed up" and didn't want to risk getting dirty. They could have been on their way to the funeral home, for all you know. 5. Perhaps, they had an important appointment with someone, and they already were running late. (Maybe, they were on their way to meet with a counselor about hoarding issues! !!) There's just no way to know (unless you talk to them about it) why they didn't stop to help you. While the help would have been nice, their not stopping to help you in no way means that you aren't worthy of such help!! It also doesn't necessarily mean that they are horrible people. They may be "going through" a rough patch of which you are totally unaware. Please, don't let this situation make you depressed. Now, having said all that, congratulations on all your hard work! You should be very proud of yourself. You took the initiative, and you did what needed to be done. Arid |
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Post by DJ on May 4, 2010 23:39:23 GMT -5
i think the most frustrating WhatIf/Maybe scenario is some people look away because they don't want to embarrass someone else by commenting on their situation. and it can be terribly hurtful to the person who feels shunned and shamed.
either way. you didn't do anything to deserve anything. you have a situation and you are dealing with it.
absolutely everyone in the world has their own issues and some of the most wildly successful people are quietly motivated by their own fears and insecurities. you'll probably never really know WHAT they were thinking. but they aren't your problem, your neighbors aren't your problem. you're fixing your problem. and we're proud of you linnie.
i'm sorry for the hurt you're feeling right now but we're all proud of you.
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Post by Peach on May 4, 2010 23:46:42 GMT -5
Very well said, Arid. Please allow me to add one more:
6. Assuming they actually "saw" you (Linnie), your neighbors could have thought "Wow -- Look at her! Manhandling that sofa outside by herself! What a self-sufficient person she must be!" And, drove on but very impressed by your effort.
Heck, I'm not even there and I'm most impressed. I've also done the dance with the loveseat (not outside but from room-to-room). Just think how great you're going to feel Wednesday morning when you get up, walk into your LR and see that empty and clean space. Wonderful!!
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Post by notsomessyshell on May 5, 2010 0:36:19 GMT -5
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Post by Chris on May 5, 2010 11:33:31 GMT -5
Oh Linnie -- I wish I'd have been there to help you!  It is common for me to have as much 'tossing out' of old bad thoughts as I do in junk and trash...... If you're like me, when everything settles down you'll realize what an awesome job you did all by yourself and you'll begin to frame it all differently! But sometimes we just have to vent. Way to go on getting rid of the old torn up loveseat -- and so much trash -- you're making a lot of progress -- and I think some tears and anger and even the ikky thoughts kindof come with this much clean up work. Especially when you're alone in it. I was alone in it til very recently. It's discouraging and maddening at times and it's hard for me to ask for help. Stay strong and just know that you are amazing and the work you're doing is all going to be like a great awesome present to yourself -- imagine how great it is going to be and is with all the clutter and trash and stuff gone.        |
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Post by dtesposito on May 5, 2010 12:12:59 GMT -5
Linnie--what does the fact that your neighbors are not helpful have to do with the fact that you are doing a tremendous job cleaning?? NOTHNG! Your success is in that you are working hard to have a better living space, not that you happen to live near someone who has (or doesn't have) a helpful personality.
The two things are not connected--don't let anyone else get you down!
Diane
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Post by Script on May 5, 2010 12:37:49 GMT -5
What did I do to deserve this? I would like to add my two cents' worth. Dear Linnie: sometimes people really DO NOT SEE what is in front of their faces. Example: I do a lot of scrapbooking, and often bring some latest 'triumph' to my mother. Who gives it a cursory look and says 'nice'. I know she loves me dearly, but if she isn't wearing her 'proper' glasses, she just cannot focus on what I am trying to show her. An 'outsider' might look at the scene and be confused. "But the old lady IS wearing glasses!" But those are her distance, not her reading glasses, etc etc etc. Many of us here ALSO know the shame of tossing stuff; it looks we're really showing our terrible SQUALOR SECRETS when we bring something to the curb. "Now everyone can see that I had this dirty old smelly worn broken cheap ugly furniture in my home." Normal people don't even notice trash. congratulations on doing something so positive for your surroundings. |
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Post by momof3boys on May 5, 2010 13:03:04 GMT -5
linnie-I'm so sorry you didn't have the help you needed. I don't know why your neighbors looked at you and did not offer to help. Think about what a great thing you did! Your place will look so much better without that loveseat! Hugs
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