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Post by Freedom on Oct 9, 2011 20:35:17 GMT -5
Thanks for the bump, Lion...
I like this concept. It disconnects that 'all or nothing' syndrome. For me, fun outside the home is tied to money, since it often involves gasoline. (Yes, I know walking around the block is free.)
It puts survival ahead of redemption. I like that -- the present trumps the past. I'm always planning how much I can take out of my food budget when I'm short/scared. That's staking survival on redemption. Not good.
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Post by Soon to Be a Cleanie on Oct 9, 2011 22:33:27 GMT -5
I really like the idea of thinking of it as being on the clock. I'll have to give that more thought. I feel guilty that I tell my kids I don't have time for something or we have to clean, but then we always have to clean. So why not have an ending time and have guilt-free fun rather than coming on the computer to escape. I think I need to make up a time budget.
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Post by BetsyMarie on Oct 10, 2011 1:30:40 GMT -5
I'm a believer in having fun and do so several times each week. But I also don't have a regular job away from home, so I can fit it all in.
I still have a long way to go, but my decluttering efforts are also taking many hours over many months. Fortunately I no longer dislike the task, and generally work at a comfortable pace. I have goals, but no forced marches.
While I enjoy Hoarder episodes and have gained insights, I think they do a great disservice in their 2 day clean-ups. It gives people the impression that it can be done in a short period of time. Wrong! For an individual it can take months, even years, if the hoard is large.
I admit that sometimes I intentionally do not maintain perfectly as I go. I hate to 'waste' the time with regular house cleaning when I'd rather be doing hard-core decluttering. I would rather dig out and then have a really big house-cleaning at the end, perhaps even hiring a crew. But I am not yet a success story in maintanance, so I could be wrong about this.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2011 8:37:05 GMT -5
For those of you who have accumulated your mess over several years and are trying to clean now over a period of more years, my hats off to you for your courage, your persistence, and your dedication. I know it is HARD! Hard on your back, hard on your whole body, and hard on your soul. Keep going....it is so worth it in the end!
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Post by angela on Oct 15, 2011 16:44:11 GMT -5
Hurricane, I can relate. Once you "see" the mess and get p.o.ed about it, that energy can really get you moving. I've been there and done it.
Problem for me anyway, is because my head didn't change habits, a lot of it came back. So this time I'm trying slow and steady.
Have to admit though, I'm discouraged with my lack of progress on the back-log although to my credit, I'm not adding to it with neglecting.
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Post by angela on Oct 15, 2011 16:50:48 GMT -5
Betsymarie, I struggle regularly with the conundrum: maintenance, or projects. For example, yesterday I had the day off from work, my energy was good, the weather was decent. I had to choose, leave the weekly house chores and work outside on some clutter projects or do the house chores perhaps missing a day when it would be good to work outside. I chose to do weekly house maintenance, knowing that the results won't last as long as the clutter project. But I couldn't stand the floor being as it was another day or the little bits of clutter that had crept onto the kitchen table and back porch.
Never an easy choice for me.
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Post by angela on Oct 15, 2011 17:07:11 GMT -5
I also wonder if I'm fooling myself. I have at times, looked at the projects on my list and guess-timate the hours to completion then divide by the number of hours in any given week I have to allot to projects, the timeline looks kind of grim.
My chipping away method will only work if I don't add anything new to the equation however and I am working on restraining myself in certain areas that have in the past gotten out of control.
Can you say "Carport Chickens"?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2011 18:07:20 GMT -5
deleted for privacy
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Post by messyme on Jun 23, 2012 21:01:44 GMT -5
Another wonderful thread! I think I can relate to Hurricane Jane's post. I think the debt analogy is very good and useful for most people. However, if someone is in a very bad financial situation (ex: people are coming to reposess their home and car and they're about to be homeless), they won't be able to go out and forget about it and have fun; their situation might call for more desperate measures. I still love the analogy though, and for me, it'll be very useful for my debt! Thank you! Edited to add -- those are still some good tips, though, and I should be using some more of them. For example, when I get all my dishes done, I stop using paper plates and start using the dishes. Then sometimes I have trouble keeping up with the dishes, I backslide, and have to start over. I should probably just keep using paper plates as much as I can until I really have everything under control. At least then, I'd have nice cupboards full of beautiful, clean dishes!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 23, 2012 21:21:09 GMT -5
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Post by Freedom on Jun 24, 2012 10:09:35 GMT -5
ess Thanks for the bump! Your time budget has helped me enormously. By consistently taking care of today's stuff first, my HABITS have gotten better. Much better. The dishes get done without pain. It's just no longer a big deal for me to do dishes, I no longer agonize and plan it out -- I just habitually wash what's in the sink. So I always have a clean glass or bowl. It truly helps the catching-up part too -- if I need to wash something I'm desqualoring, the sink is free.And I literally just thought of something: I've always had an OCDproblem of having to have "a full load" -- including the dishes, no diswasher but had to have a whole sinkful in order to commit the hot water and dish soap. What?? Am I nuts?!? Well, yeah, actually. By doing today's stuff first, I'm actually getting saner, Lioness! If there are some dishes in the sink, I wash em. For heaven's sake I use Ajax dish soap, it costs 99cents. The full load issue included the floor -- it had to be fully covered with little bits before it was time to vacuum. Vacuuming up today's bits enables me to *see* the real squalor.So thank you again, O wise ess. You are a sponsor to us all.
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Post by OnTheMend on Aug 23, 2013 10:05:28 GMT -5
Bumping this old thread up for new and older members alike!
This way of thinking and doing has helped me a lot when doing various tasks that don't fit into the normal cleaning category.This method helps me to prevent mess accumulating from everyday stuff when I have a project to work on. I will bookmark this so I can find this easier later. I would love to see this in the Favourites too!
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Post by ohblondie on Aug 24, 2013 21:53:25 GMT -5
I really like this. A lot to think about.
taking care of today is definitely the maintenance, the routines. Erase the evidence so to speak.
Allowing time to plan ahead and dream is just as important as hacking away at the debris of the past.
I agree with others in that I have SO MUCH hacking away at the debris that I cannot approach it in baby steps. No one bite at a time for me. I have to take giant steps and stuff my mouth so to speak. Or stuff my garbage can.......
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Post by _Linda_ on Jul 11, 2015 18:29:52 GMT -5
Sometimes it's good to remind ourselves of old wisdom. Bumping this and hoping it helps someone.
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Post by 1rarebeautifuldove on Jul 12, 2015 0:44:30 GMT -5
_Linda_, I for one am particularly grateful that you bumped this thread. I tend to focus on one thing at the expense of all others. Most of my activities in my life need daily practice, daily effort. For example, I play the piano at church. I need to practice daily. But, because I so desperately want my house in order, sometimes I keep trying to desqualor even though I can only make so many decisions on items, I've already filled a bag or two. But because there is still "so much to do to get my house looking good" I don't practice that day. SO, then, I need to practice longer or hope nobody can tell I didn't really practice the songs. Then, because I know I didn't practice, I know I'm not giving my job all the effort it deserves.
So yes, I need to set my day up and be happy with the effort I made each day, toward my goals. I know that if I am fresh, have taken care of me, even allowed for a bit of fun, one hour or two hours will make way more difference than if I keep trying and end up running around in circles. Because when that happens all I do is pick up items and put them back down again. And don't accomplish anything.
I very much like the idea to honor yourself, take care of you. Very important to do that because just the act of taking care of yourself helps build new better habits, especially if you've gotten out of the habit of doing those little extras - face creams, special soaps, lotions, drinking water (or it's a new habit), facials, make up. It does seem to strengthen you to do a better job on everything.
I also like the idea to take a break. Even to read a book or walk the dog, or put fun music on and dance.
I like the idea to keep short accounts with the dishes, and even starting on maintenance. I thought to clean later. But, I like the idea of building new good habits, chaining behaviors together which I've read about here on this site.
This is very encouraging! A word in season, indeed!
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