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Post by zinnia on Oct 2, 2010 18:01:21 GMT -5
My mom had a cigar box full of buttons, to this day I remember how much fun I had playing with them when I was a child. Can you imagine how today's kids would react if you expected them to have fun with a box full of buttons? I have a tin of buttons that both of my children had fun with-- and cool kids of all ages still enjoy those buttons.
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Post by dtesposito on Oct 2, 2010 18:33:41 GMT -5
If I gave a cigar box full of buttons to the kids I know they would ask how to plug it in!
Diane
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Post by zinnia on Oct 2, 2010 18:36:05 GMT -5
.... my grandma's couch.... I'm sure your grandma was sensible & loving- and would be glad you got rid of it when it was in need of major repairs.
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MiSC
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Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Oct 2, 2010 19:15:23 GMT -5
.... my grandma's couch.... I'm sure your grandma was sensible & loving- and would be glad you got rid of it when it was in need of major repairs. Actually, now that I think about it, she would have been fine with me getting rid of it because she thought it was ugly.
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Post by vega on Oct 3, 2010 15:59:46 GMT -5
Actually, now that I think about it, she would have been fine with me getting rid of it because she thought it was ugly. OMG, That's great! Have you ever read anything by Pam Young and Peggy Jones (aka, the Sidetracked Sisters)?? They tell a story about helping one woman declutter her kitchen and in the back of a drawer come across a bundle of spoons or some such and she tells them it's "Grampa Tuberly's Silver" and there's this whole story about her great grandfather who was a silver smith and this is the only thing left of his and it's so precious. . . except one of the sisters notices that the "antique silver" is the same pattern as their mom's Oneida flatware. Slowly the woman remembers that Grampa Tuberly wasn't a silver smith at all, he was an engraver (the Oneida does have an F engraved on it, despite her family name starting with an S) and was, as one aunt had told her, "dumber than cheese". She goes into hysterical laughter realizing that she's been lugging a bundle of crappy badly engraved department store flatware around with her for decades thinking it was some beloved family heirloom. It's so easy to romanticize anything that is old... it's good to remember that just because someone left us something doesn't mean they actually liked it.
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mmedefarge
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Joined: September 2010
Posts: 8
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Post by mmedefarge on Oct 3, 2010 16:29:31 GMT -5
For me, it's not the regret that I let it go -- it's the guilt that I didn't maintain it/ didn't polish it, love it care for it etc the way grandma did.
So until I release something like that, either to give it away to someone who *can* maintain it, or just admit it's no longer fixable, it gives me guilt every time I look at it, and that's no good.
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Oct 3, 2010 18:33:33 GMT -5
For me, it's not the regret that I let it go -- it's the guilt that I didn't maintain it/ didn't polish it, love it care for it etc the way grandma did. So until I release something like that, either to give it away to someone who *can* maintain it, or just admit it's no longer fixable, it gives me guilt every time I look at it, and that's no good. Amen.
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Post by slothzilla on Oct 5, 2010 14:29:13 GMT -5
I used to have a couch and a chair that belonged to my grandparents. I absolutely loved those pieces of furniture. I spent a couple of summers with my grandparents and had a lot of fond memories of those times. After my grandparents passed away, my dad kept the furniture for another 15 years or so.
When he got remarried, he gave me the couch and chair. They were both faux black leather, and I was thrilled to get them. Even though they were about 25 years old when I got them, they were still in like new condition.
I sat in the chair so much that the base broke (it was a swivel chair). No way to fix it, so I tossed it, as much as it hurt. I still had the couch!
I had a dog then who had grown long toenails, because he had some tumors in his old age that prevented him from going on long walks anymore (which had always kept his nails short up til then).
I should have trimmed his nails. He spent a lot of time on the couch and his nails punctured the cushions a lot. I tried a few different ways to patch up the holes, but nothing worked very well. I finally just started using electrical tape to patch the holes.
A couple of years later some friends were having a garage sale, and my friend April was selling her grandmother's couch. And although it was old, it was in perfect condition. So I finally got rid of my grandparents couch which I loved so much...the springs were shot in it, the cushions had tape all over them...it was time for it to go.
My grandparents furniture stayed in great shape for 25 years...then after 5 years with me, it was ready for the trash heap. Sad but true. I still miss that couch and that chair, but I'll always have my memories of sitting in them at my grandparents' house.
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Post by StuffNoMore on Oct 5, 2010 16:11:41 GMT -5
I didn't realize until today how this thread has some meaning to me. Today my land line service was reinstated through Verizon after being away from it for years. I was using Vonage but decided to go back to the old fashion service and have a corded phone to be able to have service during a power outage.
I wanted to replace my old trim line phone I since tossed out not realizing I would eventually need one. I've come to realize they just don't make them like they use to and the quality is very poor. Upon reading all the reviews on the newer ones from the same company, I see many people are complaining how cheaply made the new phones are.
I do regret tossing them all out which I was decluttering last year but then I look around my clean home and realize I'd do it all again to be able to have my home looking as it does now.
I may not ever be able to replace those well made phones but I can certainly enjoy living clutter free.
SNM
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Post by canna on Oct 5, 2010 18:13:50 GMT -5
Stuffnomore -I got rid of an old landline phone that just wasn't working well, not ringing, bad tone volume.
I got a replacement landline phone at a resale shop and it works fine. $ 2.00 I need tone adjustment switch on phone for better hearing, and this had one! Try resale shops for older better made phones. Well, I also bought a beautiful old dinnerplate, by Homer Laughlin, pretty maroon boarder with gold rose trim. Couldn't resist, 50 cents. Then walked OUT of that resale shop in a hurry resisting any more temptation.
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Post by success19 on Oct 6, 2010 23:52:47 GMT -5
I remember everything I got rid of and it makes me angry - keep in mind I am tossing out alot since I am still trying to get overseas - it just makes me mad that I can't find a good job here - that is what education is supposed to be able to do for you - but the reality is the economy is really screwed up and education isn't what always gets a job - now they want a strong back and you have to be related to the right people.
I tossed out tons of books - which I miss - but it had to be done.
Right now I am still trying to sell furniture in various ways and so far haven't sold a stick!
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Post by StuffNoMore on Oct 7, 2010 0:03:05 GMT -5
canna - I did find an ATT trim line phone on Ebay I placed a bet on. Will know soon if I won it since there's another bidder wanting it also. It's like the one I tossed out last year! They just don't make things like they use to!
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Post by ponygirl on Oct 7, 2010 15:16:52 GMT -5
This is interesting and I've been thinking about this thread all week. I can truly say that, over the past year, anything that I've donated, tossed, burned, recycled, shredded, re-homed, and just plain thrown out --- I do not miss nor have any regrets. Now, the process of doing all of that was, at times, agonizing and brutally difficult. I took many photos. And it continues to be a difficult and emotional go. I persevere. Pony
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Post by anonymoose on Oct 7, 2010 18:03:43 GMT -5
I don't much regret what I've thrown out - usually, I don't remember it at all once it's gone. But there were a few things that I let get damaged that I still get physically ill when I think about them. I try really hard to just not reflect on those things, pretend I never had them, or it didn't happen, or they're still around somewhere under a pile I haven't gotten to yet, though it's hard sometimes.
At first, I thought your post was going to refer to dealing with the regret of missed opportunities and life not lived while in squalor, which I also try really hard not to think about.
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leticia
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Joined: October 2010
Posts: 17
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Post by leticia on Oct 8, 2010 0:49:43 GMT -5
I hope just writing this down has helped you! maybe you can keep a journal and write all you can remember about your grandmother. It's not the objects she left but her life and what she meant to you that matter. Memories are just pictures in our brain. We can strengthen and improve them but we sure can't live with all the mementos esp. if they are big like a couch. I still cry over some things I have had to let go. I also used to secretly visit the thrift store hoping to see some of the things I donated (I did see a couple) so I could say hi to them. It seems silly but it's very real. Maybe if you kept some of grandma's little notes, you could paste it in your journal...hope this helps!
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