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Post by dtesposito on Mar 5, 2014 17:35:11 GMT -5
I notice when my thoughts muddy, or get defensive, or go off into fantasy...I am in denial about how much stuff I have and how much I think about it and how unwilling I have been up to now to let it go.
This is a good cue for me..
SO when my thoughts are clear, peaceful, unencumbered...I am moving in the right direction.
Angela, I really like this! There is SO much stress involved in managing our stuff.
Diane
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Post by MissABCD on Mar 5, 2014 17:42:30 GMT -5
First of all, please know that I greatly admire your achievements. I am trying not to be green with envy. I do disagree with you on one of your points. Just because you can do it, does not mean the rest of us can. We have different degrees of physical ability, strength, and the mental capacity to make the decisions. I do believe that making the decisions as to what to pitch takes a serious ability. Oh,here in our little town, we are not allowed to burn. Believe me, it was a lot easier to keep up with the mess when we were allowed to burn. Also, I do agree that the more one tosses, the easier it is to toss. Best wishes for continued success. MissABCD
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 6, 2014 17:35:49 GMT -5
First of all, please know that I greatly admire your achievements. I am trying not to be green with envy. I do disagree with you on one of your points. Just because you can do it, does not mean the rest of us can. We have different degrees of physical ability, strength, and the mental capacity to make the decisions. I do believe that making the decisions as to what to pitch takes a serious ability. Oh,here in our little town, we are not allowed to burn. Believe me, it was a lot easier to keep up with the mess when we were allowed to burn. Also, I do agree that the more one tosses, the easier it is to toss. Best wishes for continued success. MissABCD MissABCD, Thank you for your wishes and praises...but, please, do not misconstrue the message I'm trying to convey through this thread: I never did say it was easy to make decisions...I simply said that decisions must be made in order to take action to get us out of these situations...whatever those might be to each of us, individually. I also did not say that making decisions was in any way, shape, or form easy for me...what I said was that it was 'becoming' easier...hence the name of this thread 'Turning a Corner'. Trust me...I haven't come anywhere close to having completely TURNED IT! Please, too, try not to make assumptions that I do not also have physical and/or mental limitations...for, I certainly have my share. (Feel free to read my entire blog if you would like to to know me a bit better...) We all have limitations in some form. It is lucky, indeed, that I have the legal right to burn in my area. That does make it slightly more convenient for me...but in no way does it make anything related to decluttering...or decision making...any easier. It will get easier for us...but we have to become honest with ourselves about wanting to actually DO it. Until one is ready, nothing will happen. It's like addiction...one cannot change until one is ready to change. I hope we all can get to that point. I wish you continued success as well! Keep posting!
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 6, 2014 17:40:18 GMT -5
Hi, all! I've been up to my eyeballs in the day job...and in preparing my income taxes...so online activity is the first thing that has to be limited! I've 'liked' all of your posts to let you know that I've read them...and I can't wait to find a few moments to reply! I have a lot of interesting observations, revelations, and facts to share with you! Please, continue to do whatever it takes to begin to 'turn a corner' and get out of this mental tending!
Clarity and peace awaits all of us.
Stuff stagnates us.
Take care, and sending love and good thoughts!
And...a belated Happy Mardi Gras to all of you! Ponygirl
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Post by RoadRunner on Mar 6, 2014 18:02:50 GMT -5
ponygirl It is that time of the year (taxes-- ) I will be working on mine this weekend. Looking forward to reading your "interesting observations, revelations, and facts" You thread is my warm up exercise for my uber larger garage declutter. I have decluttered 93% of my house but it is now all in my garage ) My garage declutter will be coming up after taxes are done and National Boards have been submitted. I am taking some nonthreatening baby-steps participating in 40 days 40 bags committing to removing I small plastic grocery bag of trash every day for 40 days or no brainier donations. After 40 days I should be in a postion to deal with the tough emotional stuff. I will have to say your thread is helping me to prepare to deal with the detaching of my emotions from my "stuff". It is for the greater good of MY LIFE. Exciting times are ahead!!!! ONWARD
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:19:25 GMT -5
I've got about 15 minutes of online time...will try to respond to as many posts as I can! The rest I will get to soonest!
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:23:50 GMT -5
ponygirl, i am reading every word of this thread and i'm loving it and it is scaring me to death. i can relate to Angela's feeling queasy. i feel like puking, running, crying, cheering, hoping, and staying right here to root you on. this thread gives me so much hope. you all give me hope. what you wrote about mental tending, Pony and Diane - OMG YES. your revelations as you move along in committed actions are amazing to me, and so real and right-on. hanging on to every word for dear life. please Mods/Admin - can we move this thread to favorites so i don't have to keep "liking" almost every single post?about acquiring - when you finally reached that aha moment and committed to change and action every day - how did you stop acquiring and stop retail therapy and amassing freebies? if you couldn't cold turkey, how did you at least slow it down? if this needs to be discussed in another thread, so be it. a few of the standout ideas and revelations so far, as you're all working along on this but especially you, Pony:~ crippling indecision is what got us (and what keeps us) hoarded and in squalor ~ don't buy more storage containers! you only need bags and boxes to take stuff OUT ~ most of my indecision was fear of making a decision ~ does this thing add to/enhance my life? there is no 'maybe' - only yes or no! ~ will i use this SOON? ~ when i started clearing stuff, my urge to eat compulsively has lessened ~ 'STORE' = you're not using it = the danger zone ~ mental tipping point is when you finally turn the corner to sustained committed action - but it's all preparation - the disgust, the eyeballing, scouting, etc. ~ sunk costs - they're sunk so get the stuff OUT as fast as possible ~ it's not easy, it's hard. there are tears, fears, and all the rest. but with each action it gets easier Pony, please keep sharing your thought processes as you liberate yourself. these are most helpful. thank you for putting this on the general board.CC, you've summarized my revelations quite beautifully...and I want you to know, I've had all of those exactly feelings...and then some!...the nausea, the crying, the queasiness, the wanting to run!, the hope, the anticipation...the anger!...mad at myself, at the world, at everything, really...then, I was really mad at all of my indecision! I knew...knew!...that I must change...I must take action! FINALLY! I was becoming honest with myself! ACKNOWLEDGING that I had to do SOMETHING instead of merely thinking about it. However, THINKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING is the very first step. Other than pure action...if we're not AT LEAST thinking about doing something...we're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and that is getting us nowhere. Okay...about the acquiring...this will take longer than this post...but, I will get back on the subject in more detail in future ones as it pertains to my journey to quit acquiring unnecessary goods. For now: When I came to the realization that I was in such a quagmire of stuff...I had to make consistent conscious decisions to stop spending...and it is hard. And, I'm not a huge spender to begin with...but, I was still spending on lots of unnecessary items. Here is the main thing we all need to do: STOP SHOPPING FOR RECREATION. We must fill any such void - or desire for 'entertainment' - with other pursuits! Use our creative juices (in the case of art/crafts...use what we DO have instead of buying more)...write...volunteer...garden...exercise...get a job, if one doesn't already have one (or get another)...whatever it may be that makes your heart sing...and can fulfill the desire to do something...something that doesn't involve two things: 1) Spending money; and, 2) Acquiring any item that doesn't go toward absolute survival needs...or to replace something that has failed (appliance, et al). I suggest that we all avoid going into the devil's workshop (stores/malls/thrift shops/flea markets/garage sales/whatever) if we do not want to do business with him! I know...it's really hard. But, it's the only solution. If you do acquire something...please move out a half-dozen 'somethings' that you already have...otherwise, you're still sinking...badly. If you're tempted to spend...give yourself 24 hours to think about that...and see if you still have to have the item. (I'll bet not...) Look at the checkbook balance...that should scare most of us into putting the object of desire down! What should really scare us is looking at our savings balance! What's THAT? most of us would say...well, there's the answer right there...if we're not paying ourselves, we're REALLY sinking the ship. Want something practical? Here it is: Pay all our bills on time...including food, etc....put something into savings each payday...move out at least a dozen items from our abodes...THEN, and only then...if you want to splurge on a new knick-knack...well, have at it! If that will contribute to your life's enjoyment, so be it. I tell ya, though...once you begin saving some $$$...and clearing some stuff out...you won't want to bring more in...you will begin reveling in the joy of pure clear space...and clarity of thought...and some $$$ in the bank for a rainy day. That is what I'm working toward. I'm wishing us all a successful journey to that end! Loving your posts...and reading your acquisition logs! Love, Pony
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:44:13 GMT -5
Diane, she told me to keep only the most recent insurance papers. This year and last year. Pony, I've cleaned out 2 more desk drawers. Found pay-stubs from 1982 up to last year. Over 25 years. OMG. Most are now in my burn bag!! Sue, that is pure fabulous work! In the burn bag they geaux! When I get to my desk drawers...I can't even get to the desk at this time I'm sure I'll find some that are decades old as well! Keep up the good work! Hold fast and carry on!
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:48:28 GMT -5
ponygirl: I'm not presuming to tell you what to do with your books, but I do want to point out a misconception that you seem to have. At our library, at least, the purpose of the book sales is *NOT* just for the library to "declutter." We have the book sales **TO MAKE MONEY FOR THE LIBRARY!!!** Yes; it's true that the library *DOES* "declutter" some of its older books this way--books that haven't been checked out for the past "x" number of years (whatever value for "x" that the library chooses to use). It also "declutters" books when more space is needed--be that for new book purchases or for things that take up a significant amount of space, such as computer stations. However, we welcome book, audiobook, tape, record, etc. donations at our local library. The librarians first look through the donations to see if there is anything there that they wish to put on the shelves or any books or items that they know that other libraries in our consortium would like to have. If they find something that they want, they "get first pick." Anything that is left over gets shuttled to our FLIERS group (Friends of the Library). We sort, organize, and price all these donations. With the two book sales that we hold per year, we help to fund our library's summer reading program, buy new computers for the children's section of the library, pay for new carpeting, etc. The money that we raise is taken into account for the library's annual budget. The library would miss that money if we weren't able to supply it! We can't raise the money without the donations, though. Not all libraries hold book sales and/or have FLIERS groups. Anyone wishing to donate to such an organization should call first to ask if donations are wanted. Those of us who do have such sales and such groups really, really appreciate the donation of books that are *IN GOOD CONDITION.* (Sometimes, even books that are in "well-used" condition can have value if they are rare ones. Just don't bother to donate books that are musty or moldy!) Arid (stepping off her "soap box" for now!) Hi, Arid...alas, I'm running out of online time...and will have to return to this... Ahhh, the books! So many responses...so little time! Quickly though...no, I did not have any misconception about what libraries do regarding their book sales...and I was fully aware that they sell donated books for profit. I was not wrong with my post about books/library...I was simply making a point that I didn't want to add to any clutter on their end. I am active in my local library community as well...and I will share what my libraries do as far as book sales...and what they accept toward donations...y'all might be very surprised. I'm out of time...and will be back. You can get on your soap box anytime, my friend! Love, Pony
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:52:01 GMT -5
All I'm doing is rough sorting nowPonygirl, rough sorting can be good to get you started, if you have enough room. When I first started sorting paper piles a long time ago, they were extremely messy (papers piled every which way) and I had a hard time sitting down and getting started. I finally told myself that all I had to do was put paper into keep and toss, and neaten up the keep pile so it would take up less space and look better. I didn't have to worry about file categories--because at that time I had no idea which categories to even make files for. While doing that I would see a few other obvious categories and take them out--but when I started making so many piles that I got overwhelmed I just went back to keep and toss. Then when I had several much smaller, neat piles, putting them into further categories was a lot easier. Rough sorting works for larger items if you have the space to move things around. It does make you handle things several times, but if someone is having trouble starting, it's a lot better to do a rough sort and get things out so you have room to do a finer sort later, than to get overwhelmed and give up! Diane Diane, thank you! All great suggestions. I am doing exactly that. In fact, at this point, I have to rough sort the papers from the 'other stuff' Yeah, it's a jumble. Love, Pony
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Post by slowlydoesit on Mar 7, 2014 17:52:41 GMT -5
test
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 7, 2014 17:55:42 GMT -5
Hi, Slowly! Welcome to the Turning A Corner thread...and to our SooS family! Post anytime...we're helping each other!
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 9, 2014 20:56:26 GMT -5
I want to echo what Arid said. I thought the same thing. The library is selling your used books to make money, not just to declutter their own shelves. I have bought many many books at library sales over the years. Hi, Guitarstrings...Yes; I'm aware that most libraries have sales...including my local two. And I knew that they accept books specifically to resell at the fund-raising sales. Here are the facts for my library: They have one sale per year...in late spring...at the larger of the two libraries within this county. The only books accepted for donation for the sale must have been published within the past five years. So...that fact alone eliminates ALL of the books I have that I wish to 'declutter'. I asked my library director what exactly do they do with a) books that are donated that do not meet the publishing age limit; and, b) those books that did not sell in the sale...and she said, 'we put them in the dumpster'! Her exact words, not kidding. She also stated that the sales are laborious to prepare for and they do not make very much money from the sales. I don't think anyone would want my 'Finite Mathematics' textbook from 1978...
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 9, 2014 21:08:20 GMT -5
Thank you for explaining all that Arid. I just can't see burning books. Pony, please take your unwanted books to your nearest library, not the bonfire! Sue, I know...the subject of books can be quite an emotional one! See...that passion we feel for them is for what they provide...knowledge, adventure, fantasy, history, et al... However...in 'our' case(s) of clutteritis...they can become another obstacle in the way of freedom. After all, they are just stacks of paper...covered in paper...or covered in heavier cardboard (in most cases). I'm reasonably certain that the books I wish to remove from my house are not any that the library would want for its shelves...or most anyone else would be interested in having. And I know that the library cannot use any of them for its sale (see previous post). For my convenience...burning is the way to go...my burn pile is right in my back yard. Please don't worry about them...as I said, it's just ink on paper...no different from a magazine or a catalog. They are not serving any purpose in my life other than taking up valuable space. I do intend to keep several that have particular meaning to me...including my school yearbooks. I so appreciate your passion for them. I love books, too.
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Post by ponygirl on Mar 9, 2014 21:11:00 GMT -5
I don't want to side track this thread away from Pony's fabulous work but I need to wade in here about the books. When I finished looking at this thread last night, I was thinking about the books. I have wanted to burn books (writing that feels like admitting to a dirty secret ) It got me thinking about why we treat books with so much reverence without thinking about their content. We seem to be quite happy to burn or dispose of any number of magazines (again, regardless of content) but will not burn a book. The magazines could contain anything from porn (of all types) through to scientific criticism or high art. So could books. For some reason the way they are bound makes the difference. Why is that? There is so many books in the world. There are so many bad books! Some books were never meant to be kept for ever. (I want to be clear, I am not advocating book burning as a form of censorship.) I cannot see the harm in disposing of a few. Can I suggest, in Pony's situation, we extend our principle of amnesty to cover books. She is making such fantastic process, she has identified some books as clutter that is holding her back and she has also identified the books would be of little value to others. Often it is the perceived value to others which slows down or stops the de-cluttering process. I say burn everything that stands in the way of freedom! Razy, Thank you! Exactly! In the case of my books...they are only additional objects in my way to freedom, peace, and clarity! They are only ink on paper, bound in paper or paper-covered cardboard. I'm going to keep what I absolute want and love...and burn the rest.
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