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Post by puppybox on Mar 17, 2014 0:28:58 GMT -5
MamaAngie I counted a chair as one. you count however you like! don't go too hard on yourself either! you can always do MORE than 40 if it turns out to easy, ha!
I went thru some clothes and made a grocery store bag full of tshirts for donation, some with tags on them (too small). Now I am SURE to lose weight!
and cut up others not good enough for ddonation into rags.
13/40 (so I couldn't save them or be tempted to wear them)
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Post by BetsyMarie on Mar 17, 2014 1:03:42 GMT -5
Wasn't going to get around the this today, but about an hour ago said 'what the heck' and went for it. Todays' task was to empty the almost 2 foot gap between the washer and dryer. It had filled with 'stuff'. Like 'stuff' that might fall into a gaping crack in the earth after a mega quake in the movies. Some stuff will be washed, some donated, some recycled, but most tossed. When I got to ground level, I vacuumed the flooring and behind the machines the best I could. And now the large upright vacuum has a home of it's own. So, one large trash bag filled. I won't have room in the trash bin for all I've collected this week. We have a couple extra trash cans I'll have to start putting non-wet trash into till there is room.
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Post by robnoxious007 on Mar 17, 2014 3:27:08 GMT -5
Hi. I am new here. My name is Robert and I am a hoarder. (I will probably do an introduction post later, but I need to get this out now) I live in squalor, for years between level 2 and 3, but slipping into 3 in recent months. I have been steadily going with the 40 bags in 40 days challenge, sometimes to some anxiety, but I've soldiered on. I check in, every night so far, on the facebook group. Usually it's very terse, "10th day, 10 bags," something like that. Tonight, I ... went too far, for me, in trying to get a bag together. I needed, still need, to share about it, but my perception is (true or not) that that particular group is largely made up of people with cluttering problems, not people in squalor. Not full fledged hoarders. And that's fine. But with tonight's thing, I didn't feel like I could open up to them. Frankly the wrong, well meaning, overly banal, not-quite-getting-it comment could really be detrimental to me right at this moment.
I started a post to that page, but I didn't send it. I put it it a text file, made a much more general comment, and found my way here. I've had the link to the old "Squalor Survivors" site for a long time. This feels safe. I'm proud of my progress with the 40 bag in 40 days challenge so far, and I don't want it to stop, so I feel I have to open up somewhere.
Anyway, this is the post I DIDN'T post to the facebook group, but started writing there:
"!2th day, 12 bags. There's a reason, at least for me, that some of us have been advised to just do a little at a time. I, literally, overfilled my bag tonight. Not too full, but way too heavy. (and I can lift A LOT) The bag split. It didn't cause as much damage as it probably could have, but many of the worst aspects of all of this, the things that really feed my anxieties, manifested tonight. Including my neighbors and some friends being outside as I walked outside with my busted bag. I just walked over as calmly as I could and wheeled the garbage can to my door and got the bag inside of it. I then threw some water and a little car wash shampoo on the puddle of garbage juice that was in front of my porch. I had been planning to walk to the store after I got the bag outside. Now, I am (somewhat irrationally) ashamed/afraid to walk out and see my friends and neighbors. I don't want to talk to them right now, not even about anything banal, like "How was your day?"
Here's what I actually posted:
"!2th day, 12 bags. It's actually important, very important, that I, personally, do not try to do too much. I pretty much broke that rule tonight, inadvertently. The damage was not as severe as it could have been but still, I am having to try very, very hard not to let all of this go off of the rails now. Tomorrow's "bag," whatever that may turn out to be, will need to be very light."
It's become important to me to post that I've done a bag each night, for many reasons. Accountability being just one of them. I'm making it a point to not question why, so far, I've been following this challenge, when so many other...whatevers... techniques, programs, etc., have failed in the past. There's progress. I'm going with it, and trying to open myself up to it. Today, at least.
What happened simply, was I started filling a bag from my fridge. The bag became way too heavy before it was full and I continued to throw stuff in it. (See? It's already easier to talk to THIS random collection of strangers than THAT random collection of strangers!) I had trouble hauling it out. It split. Due to the nature of my squalor, I'm not sure if I got garbage juice in some places, but if I did, I don't think it's much. (<Expletive> I HATE that I even can type that sentence about myself!) I got a few drops on my bed (it's a tiny place) and, as gross as this is, I'm going to sleep with it, having just kinda blotted it up.
There was that large puddle of garbage juice in front of my steps where I dropped the bag, but I think that must have been where the big split happened.
Anyway, I don't want to stop, as I've said repeatedly. I feel the only way to keep going is to air this out to people who might, maybe, understand. So, this rant. I'm 16 years sober in AA, the granddaddy of all 12 step programs, (for those who are familiar with such things) so I'm trying to apply those principles here, such as I can. For what it's worth, I tried going to "Clutterers Anonymous" a while back, but... well, that's another rant.
I thank you for your time. I will, God Willing, take another, lighter, bag out tomorrow.
Good night.
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Post by messymimi on Mar 17, 2014 6:28:45 GMT -5
Rob, you are among people who get it. In fact, people who have done the same thing, sometimes multiple times. Yes, i've done the "empty the fridge boogie" and overfilled the bag and had it break, too.
One member here who is also in a twelve step program likens what she tries to do here to "abstaining from neglecting any mess."
www.takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/16215/abstinence-neglecting-any-mess
Strive to take out another, lighter bag today. It's a new day, and you've found people who get it.
messymimi
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Post by puppybox on Mar 17, 2014 9:36:41 GMT -5
much sympathy to you on breaking bags and garbage juice, Robnoxious007
Try to be kind to yourself. Non hoarders overload bags too sometimes.
You're making a big effort, which is really great! and its normal to feel stressed and anxious(even when things go well). You are right to stop yourself from doing too much, at first. You don't want to overload and breakdown emotionally, like the bags.
You can do it!
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Post by dtesposito on Mar 17, 2014 10:02:30 GMT -5
Welcome Rob,
I love the term garbage juice, and unfortunately, I know just what you mean by it.
I'm glad the 40-bag challenge is working for you--many of us here, myself included, have to have challenges, or games, or just the accountability of checking in here in order to get anything done in our homes.
Hopefully there are other things going on in your neighbors' lives so they won't be too interested in what was in your garbage bag! Please keep posting, we know how much of an accomplishment taking out a bag of garbage can be.
Diane
PS Congrats on your 16 years sober, too.
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Post by imamess on Mar 17, 2014 10:24:07 GMT -5
Yeah, I know the garbage juice personally and yes I have had a bad to split just like that. The only good thing about mine was that I live in a semi rural area where the houses have big yards and my neighbors can't see what I drag out of the house and throw in the truck bed to haul to the county dumpster. Your neighbors probably thought "What in the world has he got in that bag that makes it so heavy?" and then immediately to what's on TV or some such thing. You just keep on with the bags! Isn't it great to clean the fridge? Feel proud of yourself, you did a good job.
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forko23
New Member
Joined: March 2014
Posts: 2
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Post by forko23 on Mar 17, 2014 10:59:22 GMT -5
Hi Rob,
Look at all the good that happened from you sharing your experience here. Your post gives me hope that I too can recover from living in such squalid conditions as I've become willing to accept, sometime in my recent past. I'm a friend of Bill's too for 14 years now (this time). I never felt ashamed when I'd carry out a dozen or so bags of beer cans to take to the recyclers to invest the few dollars I'd make into even more beer cans, yet to become empties. Why heavens no! I was proud of the fact that I could drink as much as I did. I'm sure that behind their stoic faces my neighbors were likely clucking their tongues but now and for quite some time, I'm pretty sure that they notice that while I bring much into my home, very little ever leaves. I live next door in a condo community that is very aparment feeling and the lady next door always peeks through her blinds or doorway to see what might be going on. My patio door always has the blinds open so anyone passing by the rear of my place can see in on the ocean of 'treasures' that I've accumulated. I just got here yesterday evening so I have yet to fill even that first bag yet but I plan to try. This isn't the first time I've found my life to be unmanageable but thankfully, once again, I've been led to a program with caring people who are willing to share with me a plan that I could never formulate on my own. Life is good but I don't need all the souvenirs I've accumulated. It's my belief that just like drinking, our hoarding is but a symptom of some deeper condition that we need to deal with to make our lives ones that we can enjoy instead of ones that we curse. Hang in there!! That's what I'm planning to do. Thanks for sharing so honestly. Cheers!!
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Post by messymomof3 on Mar 17, 2014 11:54:40 GMT -5
You know what? I'm IN!!! I wasn't going to do this challenge because I'm not in the purging stage of my cleaning process (MY process, some people's purging comes first) yet. I am not getting rid of things, actual items that could be used but are not. Items that I have to make a decision on. But then I got to thinking how often everyday trash never makes it out of the house. We often have overflowing trash cans, things that never made it there in the first place and things that really belong in the trash that we just don't realize. So, I am going to do this challenge and celebrate every single bag of everyday trash that leaves my house because at least it is not still here for my family and I to live in.
I am late to the game, but I will start with today. I'm sure I will hit 40 bags by the end anyway.
3/40
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Post by sue5000 on Mar 17, 2014 12:00:47 GMT -5
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Post by RoadRunner on Mar 17, 2014 12:58:12 GMT -5
Classroom Square Footage 12 square foot -- purged books in bookcase and reorganized books.
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Post by BetsyMarie on Mar 17, 2014 13:59:50 GMT -5
To everyone new to the thread - Welcome!
This morning my '40 bag' challenge was to clear off the top of the dryer in the laundry nook. That hadn't been done for literally years. Things were sorted, disposed of, put away, cleaned... etc. And the area reorganized. I'm very pleased how it has turned out. Both neater, and far more functional.
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Post by charis on Mar 17, 2014 14:43:02 GMT -5
Day 13 Dear forko and rob, I am so very glad you are here taking this journey along with the rest of us Rob, It is funny what we each feel shame over. I felt terrible shame when people saw the inside of the house, but never felt any shame about taking out any amount of trash--and sometimes there was a lot! forko-pigpen and peppermint patty were always my favorites I threw away a small, drugstore size bag today, but it was really hard. Greeting cards, little presents, old race numbers and medals from when I was younger and fitter. A silly present from a boy I went out with who I treated rather callously--and feel so much regret about now that I am the mother of a young man who has trouble connecting with young women. This is the first time during the bag challenge that I have outright cried, but even though I don't feel okay, I feel that I will feel okay soon.
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Post by puppybox on Mar 17, 2014 15:06:35 GMT -5
There is really impressive, brave work being done by many people.
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Post by RoadRunner on Mar 17, 2014 18:03:09 GMT -5
40 Days @home -- Moved 16 boxes of keepables upstairs. Moved 11 boxes of give away to staging area. (Mostly Toys and will need another sort) Moved 11 boxes to move up staging area. Sorted through 3 more boxes trash, keep, give away. I am starting to finally have some goat trails in my garage, it has been a thick forest with no passage.
Bonus deleted 40 e-mails -- Work e-mail is back up to over 600 e-mails. Filed 40 items from bar clutter.
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