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Post by ponygirl on Aug 25, 2014 14:44:29 GMT -5
I could be writing everything that Angela has written (except I'm not caring for anyone ill at the moment). I'm about ready to cry 'uncle'...after battling most of my adult life trying to 'self-manage' all my depression/issues. My age is starting to catch up - and is overtaking - my sheer willpower, strength...and stubbornness...which I have leaned on to survive all this time. So, how exactly does one get help/therapy...without having the funds to do so...and live/work in small/rural town area...probably w/o many (or any) qualified therapists...and being a person who does NOT have time nor resources to drive all over creation to seek said help?? Not meaning to hijack your thread, Angela...just hoping someone can give us some guidance and viable suggestions. misssue?
I can say this: This is no way to live.
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Post by soapyclean on Aug 25, 2014 15:08:48 GMT -5
Ponygirl, your cat looks like one I had. He was a sweet boy.
I have been where you are, in a place with so little MH care options the waiting list was 6 months long unless you were homicidal or suicidal. I often considered lying. Finally I found a therapist. I put my visits on a credit card (unwise). My therapist referred me to a psychiatrist--he helped more than any therapist I ever saw. The cost was similar to that of a therapist. I moved away, but in my new home, I found a psychiatrist. I'm still bonkers, but I'm better. BTW, I cannot afford care either.
Good luck.
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Post by immaculata on Aug 25, 2014 15:22:19 GMT -5
So, how exactly does one get help/therapy...without having the funds to do so... If you don't mind a humble suggestion, you could try a 12 step group. They are free and they are widely found. Maybe not exactly suited to your precise situation, but if you can't find free MH care elsewhere, the mutual support that 12 step offers might be of help. Alternatively you could post on Craiglist or a library noticeboard and set up a mutual support group yourself. Easier said than done, I know. Wishing you the best.
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Post by lostchild on Aug 25, 2014 16:47:54 GMT -5
When I couldn't get psychiatrist to prescribe I got help from regular doctor who wrote 3 months at time prescriptions so I didn't have to make monthly expensive visits.There are some free mental health places provided by state.They have long lines and wait times but you are in crisis so they might make you a priority.Some doctors will accept pro bono cases if you explain why in desperate straits. These are just suggestions. They may not work for you but they are some options.My doctor works with me. I haven't been paid since July 15th so I understand dire financial straits.I am a caretaker also so I understand burnout too and depression suffered with since 14 when diagnosed and 46 now.If you want to go to chat if you can I can try to find help in your area for you.
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Post by lostchild on Aug 25, 2014 16:48:57 GMT -5
I have no insurance either and haven't for 2 or so years so far.
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Post by misssue on Aug 25, 2014 17:46:24 GMT -5
I do not have a lot of time today, but I hope this can help any one seeking care! Ponygirl, how great you have thought about getting some help. I hope I can offer some suggestions. See below because LostChild you posted while I was...
If you have health insurance, that would be my first option to help someone find a therapist. Your insurance should under the new Affordable Care Act have mental health care benefits, but they may not, due the the grandfathered clause. Meaning some policies through a employer are still allowed to not include that in their group coverage. So call your provider, or look on line to see you are covered for mental health coverage. If you are covered, your insurance will provide a list of therapists that are taking new patients or in their network. I do get it, that you may have to travel outside your area to see a therapist. If you had a medical issue, would you be able to travel to a urban location to get care?
If you do not have health insurance, or can not afford it, you may be eligible for state sponsored health insurance at no cost or low cost to you. It will include mental health benefits. Check out your state website and call. There will be someone, to help determine if you are eligible for insurance under a state plan, and today you can apply on line in most states.
Under the Affordable Care Act, you may also be eligible. Like I said the new health insurance today, has to have mental health coverage. I am aware that many people know they have to have insurance under the new "laws", but also can not afford it.Or to pay the co pays etc. MANY therapists will work with you on a sliding or a cash scale. With or without insurance. Often today they will waive a co pay if insurance is involved, so you can afford to come. There are a few ways to do that.
If you have not checked it out the Affordable care act website and do not have insurance, you might check that. I this spring, helped someone who is paying 37 dollars a month, my age in another state, and it is better insurance than I have. She just figured she was too poor to buy anything and did not apply or even look!
If you have a medical doctor, that would be an option for meds. I believe it is best to have a therapist for the talk help side, but like Lostchild wrote that is an option if there are no therapists in your area. To use an MD. The other side to your medical MD, is that can be a good place to get a referral to someone in your area that is a therapist. Since only an MD Pyschiatrist can prescribe meds, most therapists work with or refer their patients to a pyschiatrist for the med side. Sometimes if there is not a therapist in your area, a local pyschiatrist will do some therapy. So start at your medical doctors office, they may have a referral. There may be a therapist that travels to your area also, that you do not know about.
To those of us who live in urban areas, there are other resources. United Way sponsered agencies. Social service organizations. Womens Centers. Good suggestion about a 12 step group, but not sure for depression, if that would help or hinder. In smaller towns and rural areas, you often have to travel to get to one.. or the anonymity is non existent!
I also want to suggest to see if your local hospital has a social worker whom may help you. Today, Social workers are all licensed, and have MSW ( Masters of Social Work) although they may not be clincal, doing therapy, they can be wonderful resources for help. That is who told me about the mileage for me driving my BF.
SO hope this helps.. I had to write in bits and pieces. BUT most of all, if anyone is suffering with hopelessness or depression, please do what you can to get help. I am sure many of us here would help with encouragement and motivation to make that call. You are worth it, we all are. There is help, let us help people find it.
LostChild. If you have no insurance because you can not afford it, there are options. If you want to PM me, I will try and help you. It depends on your state, your income, and your age. I am not sure if you have employer, you called your stolen check, pay stubs!
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Post by lostchild on Aug 25, 2014 19:31:05 GMT -5
Misssue I didn't misspeak. I work for IHSS from my home.They send timecards out and direct deposit my check. Due to the mailbox in front the post office being robbed they had no records of my hours so I can't get paid until they do.They sent out new ones and I took them inside the post office instead of using the drive up mailbox but still have to wait another10 days or more to get paid. Since each timecard missing accounts for 2 weeks I haven't been paid since July 15 and I understand not being able to afford the affordable healthcare from gov.They wanted to charge just for me 400 per month in spite of fact I have kids and mortgage.
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Post by dayeanu on Aug 25, 2014 20:23:55 GMT -5
No advice or suggestions to add - just that I understand and care.
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Post by misssue on Aug 25, 2014 20:37:58 GMT -5
Oh Lostchild, I was not doubting you working, just not sure what that meant about pay stubs being stolen, but I get it now, you meant your time cards!
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Post by wynken on Aug 25, 2014 22:22:31 GMT -5
Dear angelaBreathe Just live today to day, but hold onto hope for the future. If there is a time when 3 hours in the morning just gets critters seen to and S up and ready to face the day is in the past, then you will find time and a way to reorganise your life to suit the circumstance. I only worry that you wear yourself out in the mean time. For the future - There will be help to get you settled and regrouped. Life might be much easier and simpler. For the now - Try to eat 3 times a day - the sort of food you know is good for you. (Personally I've found a little protein with each meal has helped.)(and omega3s) Hang in there - and do take care of you. Reach out to the support systems you have used in the past. Perhaps while S is having treatment, or waiting - could you go somewhere and make a phone call? You need to find the time to tend yourself at some stage in your days. If you want to help S - you need to help yourself look after you too. Sending good vibes your way. [/img]
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Post by Fivecat on Aug 26, 2014 9:31:44 GMT -5
The last few weeks I have been so run down that I've seriously doubted whether or not I could even manage to maintain a studio apartment or a rented bedroom. It has made me wonder when downsizing doesn't really help. No matter the size of my environment, there will always be those things that I have to do to maintain my person, hygiene, eating, clothing... I guess when one can't do those things for oneself on a regular basis, there is something really out of whack. For me, it is so often a lack of physical energy and the subsequent thought that "I can't" so I don't do the task. I don't doubt that there are plenty of folks that are just as tired but still do those things. Their internal dialogue does not include concession for not doing those basic things. Their "why" is firmly answered and they slug it out despite fatigue. When and why did I decide that I could just pass up on doing the basics? Was it when I learned that the sky didn't fall if I skipped the dishes? How do I get back that internal line in the sand that says, these things must be done, even if at a crawl, even if I'm sitting in a chair to do them, even if I'm tired. I should downsize and will, but I do wonder about those times I slip up on even the basics. i dont know that the answer is down sizing as much as streamlining. i struggle with lower energy levels and ability to keep up, too. i understand where youre coming from. the difference between downsizing and streamlining is streamlining can be done no matter what size house you live in. for instance, handicapped/disabled people often have to learn different ways to do things. i dont see this as any different. you have realized you are not ABLE to do certain things, and i applaud that. i think brutal honesty with oneself and being self aware of limitations is the only way to come out ahead in these situations. next, i think one has to adapt, figure out ways to make things work that WILL work, instead of trying to force yourself to do what hasnt worked before. for instance. if you know you wont have energy to fix meals or clean up afterward, opt for simple, no mess solutions to eat. instead of cooking, opt for raw veggies and fruits and pick up precooked meat from your local deli (at ours you can get fried chicken, pork chops, meatloaf, etc. cooked fresh every day). use disposable plates and cutlery. buy frozen dinners. there are many options to streamline meals and keep the mess down. another instance would be dusting (and i already know this is a difficultly for squalorers and hoarders, but its still a very valid point). if you dont have the energy to dust, then get rid of the stuff you.d have to dust. streamline your space. every thing in our homes requires energy in some way or another to maintain. get rid of/let go of stuff until you have a home that matches your energy level. this includes clothes, books, knick knacks, dishes, pots, pans, furniture, whatever. if you dont have the energy to maintain it, its nothing but a ball and chain around your neck anyway. another way to cope is to hire help, if you can afford it. theres no reason we have to do everything ourselves. also, learn to work smart, not hard. if theres little stuff all over the floor and bending is a problem, then use a rake or a broom to get it all into one pile, then use a small stool to sit down and go thru the stuff. these are just a few examples, but hopefully enough to get the idea across. find what works for you, not you work for it. good luck, i know its tough, i.m struggling right now myself.
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Post by ponygirl on Aug 26, 2014 11:42:15 GMT -5
Reading all suggestions and info...at work, so limited in time...and I logged out yesterday before the invite to join you in chat, lostchild....but want to thank you for that. Thanks to everyone. I do have insurance (employer, not ACA)...which now is my first step...to see if MH is covered. If no MH professional in network, will look into MD referrals to MH professional. I need to preserve anonymity, so 12-step would be out of the question (but a very good suggestion and one I did not think of...thank you). See, I am very high-functioning to the 'outside world'. Inside, I'm a mess and feel as if my fuse is always burning right at the brink of an explosion...living like this for decades. About traveling for regular medical care...No; that is not an option...my time is maxed out. All care for me must be locally sourced. I barely have time to bathe and eat now. Thanks for all! You have no idea how much I appreciate all the time all of you have taken from your busy lives to post suggestions. I will update as I can.
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Post by dayeanu on Aug 26, 2014 13:32:49 GMT -5
Just want to mention that there are on-line 12 step programs.
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Post by lostchild on Aug 26, 2014 16:25:17 GMT -5
I definitely understand where you present well but inside you are a mess. I was that way for years. Now I am working on getting inside to outside. I want to be together not look it.
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Post by sunshineshouse on Aug 26, 2014 19:46:00 GMT -5
Hi angela,
Fivecat makes some very good and practical suggestions. I was reminded of a man who built a small house by a lake, and he had a drain put in the center of the house. He painted the walls, the cabinets, the furniture, the floor all with marine paint. When it was time to clean he would get the hose and spray, all the water going to the drain. Talk about low maintenance.
I would also do as misssue suggests and Stay in the present. Let tomorrow's worries stay in tomorrow, you have enough of today's worries. When you get to where you are ready to downsize then you may have new inspiration for pulling it all together that you can only dream of right now.
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