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Post by lostchild on Jan 20, 2015 12:02:34 GMT -5
Nice job!!!
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 20, 2015 12:58:26 GMT -5
I love the changing of the locks on the door Swampy...reminds me of the anguish of my front door which locked, but was near a main road. Any knock would send me diving under the mess to hide If it was someone I knew I would go to the high window and stick my head out and say I was sleeping. One day my worst horrors were realised when this nosey work colleague decided to come around the back when I was not home. The back door had a faulty latch and that day the wind blew it open. She stuck her nose in and when I saw her next at work she started talking about my house looking like a hurricane had been through. Apart from my sheer horror I thought it was rude to stick her head in, rude to comment to me at work and just rude all over. So, I laughed it off and lied that it was my clean up room where the stuff I was throwing out had been thrown for easier access. You had to slam that door so well to lock it and that day I had failed to do so. I agree Irisheyes, we would probably feel able to let Squalorees in with us. I would have a problem letting some judgemental idiot in. Now that would make me angry. But you and the Squalorholics are welcome anytime! I would not even have to straighten up!!! Cyn I think you have reason to be angry and it is better than sitting there bottling it up. Urgggh nothing worse than the anger management advice...how about keep the idiots away from me and I won't get angry plan instead!!! It is all about picking at the angry person, instead of getting at the ones who caused the anger. Kimmy, i hope that you have fixed this situation and have functioning locks on your doors. That was incredibly rude of your coworker. Hindsight is always 20/20 but i would have responded with what you said and then casually added "oh by the way, i left $50 on the counter and now its missing. Hmm, maybe i should file a police report". That might teach her to keep her nose in her own business. I changed my door locks a few months back and its given me the ability to work through the squalor and the hoard like nothing else has. Its almost like i has the mess to make things difficult to find and to gross out anyone who would come in without my permission. A physical "f*** you". I actually left a note one time that said "if youre here when im not here, you dont have my permission and therefore if you find things you dont like, thats just too bad. Serves you right for snooping." I know the snooper saw it. A few months later, they managed to bring that up in a conversation regarding other people. They recited the note verbatim. Of course this person would never admit to me that they were snooping in my house. It just reinforced what i already knew, the this person was still violating my privacy. i so agree with your angry person comments too. Just keep the idiots away, then i wouldnt have a reason to be angry.
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 20, 2015 13:05:54 GMT -5
Warrior Kimmy and lostchild wow! Awesome job of bagging stuff up and cleaning off the desk. What a great plan. I think i will second dayeanu and try this on my desk. Unfortunately due to churning, its really disorganized. I think i will put my stuff into boxes and label them.
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 20, 2015 16:07:40 GMT -5
I have a horror story about someone coming in on my house.
When my grandson was young, I lived on a farm, and had two houses right next to each other - maybe 30 ft. apart.
Because I had so much stuff, both houses were fully furnished.
We lived in one house, and used the second house as a guest house. Overnight visitors could stay there, and it was quite convenient for everyone involved.
Also, when the main house got too messy, we would just stay in the guest house while I cleaned up the main house. So one or the other was always at a reasonable living level. Quite handy.
Well, one day a lady we knew from church, 4-H club, and Home School Group sent out an email. Her son was working on his eagle scout rank, and needed to teach a fire-building class to a group of children, in order to earn his rank. It was the only requirement he had left undone. He was desperate.
They needed a place where it would be OK to have a group of kids, and build a fire. Because we were the only ones who had such a place, and because everyone took turns hosting the home school group, and because we had not done our turn, I volunteered our place.
I worked like the dickens, clearing and mowing the entire open area, right down to the woods so it would be nice for the kids. I scrubbed chairs and gathered firewood. I worked hard for days getting the place nice, and ready for his presentation
I didn't worry about the main house, because the guest house was clean, and everyone could go there for bathroom breaks, etc.
Well, the day of the get together, I locked the front door of the main house, but left the back door unlocked. After all, I could easily see it from where the get-together would meet.
As guests arrived, I pointed them to the guest house, which was open, and told them all bathroom needs, etc., were available there.
Low and behold, about mid-way through, the mother of the scout for whom I was hosting, slipped off and went into the main house, and took herself on a tour. She was about half-way through when my DD walked in on her and ushered her out.
She immediately locked the back door, and at her first chance told me what had happened
During the rest of the day's activities, I watched her slip around to talk privately to the other mothers.
I didn't have to wonder what she was telling them. Suddenly, everyone just HAD to use the bathroom, and tried their best to get in the main house! One woman with a small boy even insisted he could not wait for the guest house bathroom to be vacated. To which I responded that we were in the country and she was free to pick a shrub for him to go behind. Suddenly she thought he was able to wait.
It was really aggravating, considering I had worked so hard to do her a favor! I wish I had thought about telling her something was missing!
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Post by angela on Jan 21, 2015 14:49:53 GMT -5
Oh my gosh dayeanu, that is indeed horrifying. I am so sorry to read of the privacy violations that have been experienced here. The worst I have is my Mom and stepdad coming over and coming in the house, but now it is only with my permission. It used to be just dropping in. I set a boundary and said they are not allowed unless they can manage to not say anything anymore about the state of things. It think it was a full year that they were banned. Now, they can come over and they don't say anything. I know it's hard for them and it sort of breaks my heart that they see how I live, but they are fundamentally kind people and want to be respectful and I don't want them to be banned anymore. Mostly, their opinion is the only one I care about. Anybody that is my friend already knows, and if someone new comes along and finds out and has a problem, well they aren't my friend.
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Post by desireelafleur on Jan 24, 2015 10:23:49 GMT -5
angela, I know what you mean about banning people. Sometimes we don't have to say it for people to get the picture that they are not welcome unannounced for whether it be our own embarrassment or their views on our living conditions. *sigh* My worst horror story involves my brother and sister in law. My SIL and I are very close. One day during summer 2 years ago my husband and I were on the verge of divorce for many reasons. I was tired of his non help around the house especially since he was unemployed, the animals that he never took proper care of (and the corresponding smell), the blocking of my way to the laundry, defunct cars in the driveway (and no way to leave the house on my own) etc etc etc It was an awful day, humid, hot, crying toddler, husband blowing me off, older DS blowing off his chores as well, and a new case of fruit flies because no one but me ever took out the compost and then the little suckers got into the garbage...and no air conditioning. I had had it. I called my sister in law in tears and wound up at her house. Not the best solution since it was my husband's brother's house but I didn't have any choices and the children had kids to play with. My BIL was upset with H and said "I am going to see him". I begged him not to go (because I knew the state of the house at the time which was worse than usual because of the heat and lack of help) but BIL went anyway...it was a nightmare. According to BIL my H had thrown a towel the cats had peed on downstairs (it was not thrown in the laundry just thrown by the front door for me to handle) so that was the first thing he smelled when he walked in. My H, who had been on the laptop when BIL arrived, then proceeded to paint me as the bad guy by pointing out the fruit flies and the undone laundry, and the peed on towel (he even lifted the couch to show how dirty THAT was). BIL came back and basically said it was all my fault that our marriage was on the rocks because of my a)weight and b)poor housecleaning habits....I was never so mortified in my life. I used to be on good terms with BIL but now I can barely be cordial to him even though my house has vastly improved since he was last over... So yeah just walking into my house is traumatic. That's why I try to keep the entryway clean...I wish we could just move...
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 24, 2015 19:42:13 GMT -5
Thanks wit and dayeanu I was thrilled to bits. The real estate saw my gleaming desk and were thrilled too. They said, "Only that corner to go there"...and all I was thinking was "TRAUMA CORNER", ha ha so I said it!!! I have faced one debt by calling them and they are sending me new paperwork so I can get it taken from my account once a week. I also faced up to another issue and did all the required paperwork and got it done. I had to find all the papers at the last minute, but I did and I am so happy. FACING IT is so much better than avoiding it. Nobody has been nasty, everyone has been wonderful and helpful. Next week is a new beginning, when I finally hope to conquer the whole lot of it! Yes bagging it up is great as you can move it around and go through it in bits and pieces. I might play a game I have to remove 10 sheets from each bag until I dump that bag and move onto the next and tick them off. I will get there and I take on the advice to keep only the most recent bill as I have been STUPIDLY keeping every single bill ever issued! More for the Landfill Party!!!
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 24, 2015 19:48:42 GMT -5
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 24, 2015 20:03:51 GMT -5
Warrior Kimmy i was wondering how you were making out. on the clean desk, bagged papers and taking care of the phone calls. Great work on the realtor visit! I am going to give your method a try, clean the desk, then sort and bag the papers. Its really frighful. Maybe i should post photos of mt paper.
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 24, 2015 21:20:18 GMT -5
Yeah I had mountains of paper. Just grab 20 grocery bags. Grab a bundle. Pop into bag. Keep going until desk clear. Will take you ten minutes and don't worry what is in the bags. Just do it, clean your deak top and place some nice fruit on it. Then grab one bag and tell yourself 10 piees a day shall leave that bag and be sorted.
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 24, 2015 21:21:58 GMT -5
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 24, 2015 21:25:19 GMT -5
So, try opposite way Unswamping Grab 20 bags. Start stacking papers into one roughly but kinda neat. Continue until all bags full. NO SORTING YET, NO LOOKING, JUST DO IT CLEAN DESK TOP. Now just get one bag out from where you stored them and start with 10 pieces of paper only to sort. Make a place for whatever you find and stick to that classification. Anything too hard to face, just throw it in the bag and grab another piece
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 24, 2015 21:45:09 GMT -5
Warrior Kimmy love those angry faces. Yeah, ok i might not need 20 bags to clear the desks. I can do this. Ill bag it up and start like you said 10 pieces at a time. But those twenty boxes next to the desk will take a while and the four drawer file cabinet hidden in the corner. Baby steps. First the bagging. im going to tame this paper tiger.
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Post by Irisheyes on Jan 24, 2015 22:02:07 GMT -5
Kimmy! Woo-Hoo!!! I wondered how you were doing. Your progress is great!
My papers are mostly in boxes already. I have some stacks, but will box those, too. There also are some more recent papers TO stack, but I'll box those to work on first.
This is very difficult. I can't even look at the newer things. Ugh.
What's that you say? "Then, start with the older papers?" But, but, they are OLD, and I really need to DO specific other things about the newer stuff before I can file or shred it. Hmmmm...
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 25, 2015 2:31:48 GMT -5
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