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Post by clutterbuggles on Feb 27, 2017 5:34:38 GMT -5
My marriage may not survive this.
I've been bed bound for nearly six months. Doctors have been a tremendous waste of time and have essentially abandoned me because I've gained too much weight laying around for 6 months. I've been no further than 30 feet and only left bed for the loo and the doctors.
I think 6 months ago was the last time my DH let the dogs out. Worse, he's just stopped in it all and ground it into everything. There's months of food containers as he won't cook.
I'm not well. But I'm jacked up on painkillers and stimulants trying to lose weight, rehab myself, look after the dogs, and deal with the house.
I was promised he'd pick up the faeces in the kitchen last night, as I needed an early night and wanted an early start. He's finally, 3 hours after I got up to get started, turned up and got defensive because I mentioned I'd like it to be done sooner rather than later.
So already I'm biting my tongue and trying to not explode while he faffs about with individual scented nappy bags gingerly picking up piles of manure in the kitchen.
He admitted a month or so ago that he was doing something intentionally to inconvenience me because he believed I was being *** and inconveniencing him. And right now it feels like this has been a very long game of tit for tat. I wasn't doing anything, so he wasn't doing anything.
I'm going to go dig around for PigPen's posts for some tackling inspiration, take a deep breath or ten, drink a meal replacement shake, have a wee and jump into the challenge chat. Hopefully by that point I will be able to walk without falling in the kitchen. I'd be in there up to my elbows in poopies if I could, but I can't get down that low that long or that often.
There's my admission. I could be homeless and have a better, cleaner, quality of life. I am grateful for what I have, even my husband sometimes, and I will be grateful for whatever help he offers. But if he starts messing sh** up and getting in my way, he may find himself decluttered.
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Post by mynicehome on Feb 27, 2017 8:44:59 GMT -5
Welcome back clutterbuggles. You've got eyes wide open as to what's going on and what needs to be done and that is a far, far better way to deal with things than denial or avoidance.
Sending you lots of energy and motivation as you get things back on track! Keep us posted.
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Post by ohblondie on Feb 27, 2017 9:04:55 GMT -5
Welcome home - you sound so determined! you can do this!
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Post by clutterbuggles on Feb 27, 2017 11:06:41 GMT -5
Thank you!
I'm about to take nap number two, or at least significant rest. It doesn't take much to shock my health into meltdown.
It's frustratingly slow and DH took off for the pub the second the doggy doo was picked up from the kitchen.
- The dogs have been for a half hour walk, with at least one more on the cards for later. - I've had two meal replacement shakes today, not bad for someone who has been eating a meal a day for six months. Sadly, it's takeout for dinner tonight. - I've focused on the dishwasher today as DH only used it once or twice in that time. Today I found out why. He filled it with unscraped stuff and I had a brackish, moldy cesspool to clean up. I revitalised some dried out heavy duty anti bacterial wipes just to get the worst of it. It still took several sessions just to get to a point that I'd bother putting in a bottle of dishwasher cleaner. I'm glad they were 2 for 1 when I purchased them (as DH vaguely said the dishes weren't getting clean) because it's getting the second one, too, before I'll eat off anything that comes out of it. - I've tidied up after the de-gooing of the DW and started thinking about what to have for take out while I have a rest. It's definitely not safe to eat from there yet.
So the DW is running on the hottest, longest setting. I'll see later if I'm putting laundry in or the other DW cleaner bottle.
Not a bad day considering that 3 days ago I was barely getting to the bathroom and back. It's taking every ounce of my discipline, but my disgust is keeping me going.
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Post by ohblondie on Feb 27, 2017 12:13:51 GMT -5
Getting the DW cleaned out and in service was HUGE!!!!! And that will take so much off your to do list!
You are moving mountains sister! Just one rock at a time!
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Post by wind on Feb 27, 2017 14:30:13 GMT -5
All things considered, you've done a whole lot over the past couple of days. Fingers crossed that your dishwasher comes back to life, all clean and sparkly!
I'm just now getting back on track after a long and nasty illness of being bedridden, too, which also involved the need for ensure and boost. I feel your pain. I've been on the mend for a few weeks now, and it's already starting to feel like distant nightmare.
Good luck and keep us updated! You can do this!
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Post by notanotherdecade on Feb 27, 2017 14:30:29 GMT -5
Hello clutterbuggles, I love the sound of your name . Good luck in channelling the anger in productive ways xx
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Feb 27, 2017 15:21:04 GMT -5
Hi clutterbuggles.. I love your avatar..reminds me of the sign "Dyslexics of the world..UNTIE!"
Having animals to feed and care for was all that got me going a few years ago... dragging out to walk the 2 dogs happened daily rain or shine for 365 days a year...and while walking isn't much exercise (you can't outrun a bad diet) it keeps muscle tone and lung capacity, whoihv improves everything else.
Good luck on the diet, finding what works is different for anyone, especially with medical/health limits, nutrition needs, store access to shopping, budget. etc.
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Post by clutterbuggles on Feb 27, 2017 15:23:19 GMT -5
Dinner finished and tidied up after and I've just checked the dishwasher. It looks pretty good, but to be on the safe side I'm running it through a second cycle.
To say I'm shattered is an understatement - and that's just from going up and down stairs twice. I know I need to feel it to get fitter, but it's hard at the moment because *everything* feels like exercise as I'm so out of shape.
DH conveniently didn't remember clearly stating he'd take the dogs out after dinner and gave me the all clear for PJ's and thinks I'm going to let him get out of it or do it myself. The only thing I'm asking of him is to clear up the dog excrement in the house and keep on top of it by helping me to ensure they are regularly walked. I don't think that is unfair, so I'm annoyed. But he'll be the one walking if he doesn't get his head screwed on straight.
Prospective plans for tomorrow:
- Small load of "keeping up appearances" clothing washed and dried
- Fill the DW with stuff that doesn't need pre soaking and run it
- empty and clean the kitchen sink so it can be used for pre soak
- at least 2 dog walks
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Post by catcat on Feb 27, 2017 23:43:00 GMT -5
Clutterbuggles---I am sorry you have faced a long unwell time & now you are stuck with what you have to do, while still not yet all better. I will reserve to myself what I feel like doing to your DH right now. Good on you for getting the dishwasher well again. And for walking your dogs. What challenges you have faced ! Wind, you have been through a rough time too ! Keep on pushing, but please don't overdo it ! Blessings, catcat
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Post by megsb on Feb 28, 2017 0:35:32 GMT -5
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆ Ditto to what catcat said. Adding a soft .
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Post by clutterbuggles on Mar 1, 2017 3:41:34 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback and support.
The inevitable happened. I pushed too hard and crashed and burned. Yesterday, I got the laundry sorted and ready to go in and the DW rebooted and my shake in my belly before my body went into rebellion.
Lying down for 2 hours turned into a second 8 hour sleep. Followed by another 7 hours at a normal time last night. I know/knew my pacing was pushing it - now I know what happens when I do.
So not amazing results, but useful to know results. And even though I'd felt dreadful, I still did something.
I also had a word with DH. I basically told him that I didn't expect much from him. Help or don't... It's still getting done. But there are 2 things that won't be tolerated.
If he says he is going to do something, treat it like a promise and don't break it. I expect nothing, but if he offers and I accept, don't let me down.
No sabotage. Respect the areas that have been cleaned and take responsibility for messes created or occurring on his watch. And stop bringing crisps and chocolate to the lady on a diet. Kisses have no calories.
Today I'm back on dishes and dog duty. They weren't walked yesterday as DH didn't get out of bed till after 6pm and I was dead to the world. I did try to take them before my body gave in, but they refused to even go to the door for their leads. I did let them out in our tiny garden, but I think they knew how close to breaking point my body was. They're good that way.
I'm taking it a bit easier today, with more scheduled resting, to see if I can maintain longer than 3 days at a time.
Thanks for the support!
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Post by clutterbuggles on Mar 1, 2017 7:16:55 GMT -5
Dogs feed and watered. Dishwasher emptied. Dishwasher refilled and started. Spiders shifted to a new spot for fly patrol. Now for a hot drink before I take the dogs out for a walk. I'm just throwing this out there in case anyone has suggestions or experience... I've got a plethora of funky health stuff going on, but it's the least dangerous of them all that stops me in my tracks. I have low body temp and sweat waaaaay too much. To put it in eat to understand terms... I can't handle the fridge section in a grocery store without showing signs of hypothermia. And eating is difficult too simply because digestion pulls blood flow from extremities. I feel much better with it when it's warmer out, but at the moment my body is heating and cooling too quickly. I have no idea what to do to counter it and the doctors really don't think it's an issue. But teeth chattering, sweating, and getting nauseous and feeling faint really isn't something easy to shrug off. Today I'm trying hot drinks. I've had my meal replacement shake and am enjoying a warm black coffee. My toes are frozen, I've got cold sweats, but I'm not nauseous or faint. I'm also more well rested than I have been the previous two times it's occurred, so maybe that's an element to it too. I know Raynaud's is fairly common but don't know if anyone with it (I don't have it) has any tips for keeping warm. Because thermal socks and shoes just aren't cutting it.
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Post by lucie on Mar 1, 2017 9:10:25 GMT -5
Have you tried warming foods? Especially things like ginger, chilli and other spices may help you. Take care of yourself.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 1, 2017 13:16:01 GMT -5
clutterbuggles... I'm having related multiple heath quandaries...and knowing I simply do not have the stamina adds to stress of so darn much to do!..so trying to talk to ourselves and just start accepting these are facts..we can't alter them immediately... and getting anything accomplished needs to be honored.
I am attempting to look at this as not "get better in 3 months", but "this may take a decade..plan for it".
There is a great running blog on a health site called "But you LOOK Good" because we are socially adapted to fake it, smile, etc no matter how bad we feel..and people have no answers for us, so they leap to saying that useless phrase that does not help..and it negates everything we are experiencing..and we sound like whiners if we say anything..and honestly no one wants the details.
Message me separately if you want the link or to discuss.
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