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Post by clutterborn on May 21, 2019 20:36:18 GMT -5
I want to move during the summer, but there's just so much stuff. So much. Am trying to figure out how to break this into steps and develop a plan.
I've already started. There's no junk on the floor, etc. (other than dog toys temporarily there.) Have talked to a local Church Thrift Shop, they're sending out a truck next week to take away some of the excess furniture. Have been throwing away things, recycling, etc. Made many trips to the Thrift Shop. You can't tell though, by looking at the house. Still so much stuff.
What I'm struggling with - when it's so overwhelming, do ya'all think it's best to focus on just one area at a time? There's stuff crammed everywhere. On shelves, in drawers, on cabinets. It's mostly decorations that I keep for *unknown reasons.*
When I went to the Thrift Shop today, I wasn't able to let go of a cute little statue that was in my trunk, and brought it back home. How can I get out of this hoarding mindset?
And, then when I'm done - I'm supposed to paint the entire house, inside and out - and fix everything, re-do the yard - and have it all spotless???? Per my future Realtor, who's very nice but doesn't understand my dilemma. He hasn't seen the house in person yet to list it until after I declutter ....
How does one person in their 60's do all this????
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Post by dtesposito on May 21, 2019 20:56:03 GMT -5
Hi CB, I don't know if I can be helpful, I've been working for 10 years on my "hoarder mindset", and although I'm making great progress, I'm still not done.
However, if you are very motivated to move, hopefully that will help you in making the hard decisions.
Where will you be moving? A smaller place? Do you have a goal in mind as to how much to get rid of--for example, do you want to get rid of half your stuff?
It would be ideal to work in categories if you could see all of the items in that category at one time, but most of us don't have things organized in that way. Looking at the big picture all at once is definitely overwhelming, so doing one area at a time helps.
One thing that comes to mind is to make keeper boxes where you put things that you absolutely don't want to get rid of. As you're sorting, you'll get a feel for what percentage of things you're keeping compared to what you're getting rid of, and at some point you'll have to go through the keeper boxes again--but it might help to start putting the "keep" stuff in one area so you can visualize it--and getting all the "out" stuff out of the way first. It sounds like that's kind of what you're doing, but designating one room or space for keepers might make it less confusing as you work.
As far as the painting and clean-up, you'll probably have to get help with that, unless you're really good at painting! Do you have a definite end date or is it open?
Diane
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Post by dtesposito on May 21, 2019 20:59:01 GMT -5
Oh, I meant to ask--do you have a trusted friend who could sit with you while you sort? Sometimes that helps you see things through someone else's eyes and they can come up with practical reasons why you should let things go.
Diane
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Post by clutterborn on May 21, 2019 21:09:51 GMT -5
Thank you, dtesposito. Your thoughtful response brought tears to my eyes. No, I don't *want* to move at all. That's what it is. That's what's wrong. I can't get excited about it, or motivated because I am dreading the move. It's due to financial reasons, the HOA keeps going up and up, and they're wanting me to make repairs outside that are so difficult for me to do on my own. But, I want to stay here so much. Am going to start with some of the "keeper boxes" and have the truly important stuff stashed away. And yes, my Mom (almost 90) can help me decide what I should get rid of. She can't see much, or walk much - but, she can help me in other ways. Maybe once I've gotten rid of some of all the extra furniture. (My Mom moved in with me after her last stroke), I can think a little more clearly. I feel like all the furniture & stuff crammed everywhere is cluttering up my thinking, too. If that makes sense.
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Post by dtesposito on May 21, 2019 21:51:04 GMT -5
Oh I'm so sorry for your situation--that does make it so much harder to make decisions.
For sure, clutter everywhere makes it hard to concentrate--that's why focusing on smaller areas help.
Here's something I kept in mind while working on getting rid of things. The decorative items I was keeping were often stashed away in closets and drawers--I wasn't appreciating them anyway! And I did not "rotate" things so I could see something different all the time--that's a nice idea, but I obviously didn't have the inclination to do that. I just picked the things I liked the most, made sure they were displayed so I could see them (a reasonable amount!) and I donated a lot of the rest. In full disclosure, there were a few things I could not make myself give up, but they mostly fit in one copy paper box--so I'm okay with that. And honestly--I can't even remember most of what I gave away, so it's not like my life is poorer for not having the items any more.
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but wherever you move, you can work to make it a nice place for yourself and your mom. You can keep the best of the best of your possessions, and you will also no longer have the stress of worrying about finances in your current place.
Please keep posting as you work, there are many people here who have good advice about sorting and moving and I'm sure they will chime in with good suggestions.
Diane
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Post by clutterborn on May 21, 2019 22:45:07 GMT -5
Thank you, Diane dtesposito. You're absolutely right, my decorations are not doing anyone a bit of good crammed in a drawer, hidden away! Thanks to your suggestion - when packing, I will pick the things I truly like and want to display. The rest of the items will be donated. The funny thing is nothing has sentimental value. This is all thrift shop/garage sale stuff I bought cheaply over the years. Gotta let most of it go! It's odd - but, it's so much easier for me to get rid of a room full of furniture than the little bitty things.
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Post by phoenixcat on May 21, 2019 23:54:41 GMT -5
clutterborn I always perk up when I hear a few buzz words like moving, sorting for moving and moving elderly people. That seems to be my life! I just moved my DM closer to me last fall. And, for a period of 7-8 years - I was in constant move mode between personal, relatives and our offices. And, I understand finding it hard to let go of smaller things. Even if they have no sentimental value - you probably bought them because you liked them or thought they would be useful. And, even if they haven't seen the light of day - you still see the potential or regret not using the potential. You don't have to reply to any of my questions if they are too personal but this is how my thought process works and I can share it with you. I always start backwards. Once the move is completed - where are you? Are you looking at senior communities with low maintenance? Are you moving into another smaller condo? Do you have physical challenges for yourself and your mother that need to be considered? Or pets? Is this long term? When your mother is not with you anymore, is this what you want permanently? And if so, can you maintain it long term? Conversely, moving isn't free both in the actual move and fixing up your place for sale. Have you explored all your options for being able to stay such as tapping your home equity if there is any available for repairs? Does your DM have any small income to help contribute? Not sure if you are in the US, but here most people have a small amount of social security if nothing else. If you sat down with both your budgets - could you economize enough to keep your home? Of course, you have to factor in whether you can still live there once your DM's income isn't available for any reason. When I moved us, I preferred to call it "right-size" instead of downsize. When I moved relatives as well as us - I looked at things as to why they weren't being used/displayed now. Example: DM isn't moving into anything bigger than she has now. So it if was stored and not used or displayed in her previous larger space, why not? For DM, she was only bringing two bookcases. That was the scale of what she could bring. She only moved one china cabinet - that was the scale of what "fancy" dishes/display items she could bring. In her particular case, she actually gained some closet space but if you are only able to use one wall closet for your clothes - that is what you work around. That is why it is sort of helpful to know what your end situation is. Even if you haven't officially found your new place - you probably have a list of must haves to improve your current living situation and your realtor can advise what you can expect for for your personal situation. Just throwing a few ideas out there - as I said, this has been my life for years now so I'm full of advice . Just like clutter - only keep what is useful! PC
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Post by clutterborn on May 22, 2019 0:22:05 GMT -5
Thank you, phoenixcat that's alot to think about! Have been thinking about the end result a little bit, but not much. It would help a lot to focus on that thought - as it'd give me a goal to strive for. We're hoping to downsize to a smaller and cheaper house. It's very hard to find one in our price range, which is concerning. But, all it takes is one! As far as the financial stuff, yes we're pretty low income. But, property is not real expensive in rural Florida like it is in other states, so that helps. Am trying to get motivated, and you're a big help. If it's not being used, or on display - it certainly is not needed. Especially in a smaller home. Ha - I'd need to line all the walls in the house with shelves if everything was on display!
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Post by Yvette on May 22, 2019 1:17:05 GMT -5
I used to be a fan of knick-knacks. They didn't have sentimental value of themselves, but I did tie them up with dreams: this candlestick would look great when I have a room that looks like this, and that huge vase will be awesome in a hallway that I will have one day. I had so much things waiting for these dreams to come true. So basically I added a kind of sentimental value myself.
To get rid of them was to say goodbye to these dreams as well. Maybe not forever, but at least for now. Because my home was clogging up!
I put 5 things together and chose 3 things to keep, 2 things to throw away. It's easier for me when I pick what I want to keep from a small pile. After sorting through everything, I repeated it. So in the end you keep 60% of 60%, which is only about a third. Of course you can repeat it ad infinitum. (This is how I sort my books and cds as well.)
About buying new trinkets: Try to keep in mind that everything you are buying now, is something you will have to pack, put in a box, spend petrol on to move to your new home, unpack again, find a new place for there. Just think of everything moving entails just for this item you are now buying. Is it really worth all the hassle?
Good luck finding a new home. I hope you will find one soon!
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Post by larataylor on May 22, 2019 6:22:04 GMT -5
It's odd - but, it's so much easier for me to get rid of a room full of furniture than the little bitty things. I find that to be true as well. But getting big stuff out makes space that helps me think. Tight finances make it harder ... but if you *can,* it could make financial sense to invest in getting this done faster, with a dumpster, perhaps, and some extra help. You have to see what works best for your own brain, but I might suggest getting a box or bag of stuff *out* of the house every day ... to the thrift shop or trash bin. The space will start to open up. And yes, make a "keeper" place so you can see how much you want to keep.
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Post by phoenixcat on May 22, 2019 9:32:00 GMT -5
A good point about clearing room for "staging" or "sorting". When we moved, I had one spare room that I emptied first. And, i donated all of our dining room furniture and had one room empty there. Those two rooms were where I put all the boxes as I packed them (in our case we moved out of state). I would encourage you to evaluate any furniture that has storage potential before letting it go especially if money is very tight. In a smaller home - any furniture that does double or triple duty is a blessing. And taking out a bag a day (garbage or donation) - priceless advice. Get rid of all the easy decisions as soon as you make them either by packing to go with you or getting out of the house and clearing space. If you move nearby - anything you can do to give yourself days to make the transition from existing house to new house will benefit you. Nothing worse that being forced into moving all the stuff into one place and then clearing out the old place all in one day. Very stressful. Breathe. Give yourself a break. Stay hydrated. Florida weather isn't the best for a lot of activity in summer If you have someplace to safely store things that are "maybe" decisions - like all the things you can't make a decision until you are fully packed and have picked your new place - go for it. When you are on a tight deadline, sometimes it is just easier to defer the decision and move onto something else. However, I wouldn't do anything like storing off sight until you have actually sold your current place and picked a new one. Our current home is our first purchased home - I was superstitious and didn't pack anything until the deal was fully closed and we had keys in hand. However, I did de-clutter and get rid of things that I knew I wasn't taking no matter where we ended up. You can do it - there are quite a few threads around here of "moving adventures" - the good, the bad and the ugly PC
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Post by clutterborn on May 22, 2019 18:57:16 GMT -5
Thank you all, there is so much to think about. Yvette - my knick knacks are all for the future, too. I guess we do attach sentiment to secondhand items by dreaming about their uses. I'm getting a little old to be doing that, though. Best use them and enjoy them - or out they go! I started off with a staging area in the dining room, but it's all cluttered up now. Will be getting those things off to the thrift shop tomorrow. phoenixcat Love the idea of keeping the items that do double duty. I have a storage ottoman that is awesome, but is the wrong color. Was going to donate it. But, now I'm going to look at things differently and will keep it. And, yes I am going to pay for a couple of junk haulers to come out, but that's later after the thrift shop truck comes and takes what they can. I hate to buy new furniture when I move, but this stuff is so outdated and old and oversized, I don't think it will fit in a much smaller home. I keep re-reading your posts and they are all very helpful! (Tried to quote some comments, but had some technical trouble with doing so.) Thank you to everyone for such amazing ideas.
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Post by ohblondie on May 23, 2019 8:25:21 GMT -5
Listen to your body and take breaks as needed. If you cant let go of something, keep it. let it sit there, look at it, and maybe you will find you can let it go. As you clear your space, your head will clear as well.
Good luck! you got this!
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Post by clutterborn on May 23, 2019 9:09:26 GMT -5
The Thrift Shop truck came this morning, a week early!! Oh my gosh. I was still in bed! They took a Futon, a desk and chair, a bookcase, and a big oak entertainment center. I was sooo embarassed because I wasn't ready for them at all. And in my pajamas! They got their days mixed up. I had to clear things out right in front of them. Now there's stuff piled everywhere, but that's okay - am so glad the big items are gone. And the best part is - they're being donated to a woman who had been homeless and just recently got an apartment. Am very pleased to learn that, and gave them a few extra items to help her out in her kitchen. And, ohblondie - as each item leaves, yes my head does become a bit clearer and more goal focused. Now it's full speed ahead, whatever the results may be.
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Post by larataylor on May 23, 2019 9:24:27 GMT -5
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