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Post by gillian on Jun 14, 2019 8:33:41 GMT -5
Every room in this house needs decluttered and cleaned and I can't do it. Not for any physical reasons, I just seem to run out of time. I have a lot of difficulty most mornings getting up out of bed, which gives me less time to get things done. We also have a dog which takes up a lot of time. Apart from the necessary walks, she sometimes refuses to come back in again and it takes a long time to persuade her to come in.
Gillian
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Post by ohblondie on Jun 14, 2019 9:54:07 GMT -5
Can you set a timer and do 15 mins in each room? Or dedicate an hour a day to one room? I so get how you feel.
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Post by itsybitsy on Jun 14, 2019 11:58:35 GMT -5
You HAVE done something! You wrote about how you feel and what you see that needs doing. That is the first step! I like to stay in bed as well. I know in the evening that I will not want to get up. What helps is taking a shower, whether I feel like it or not. This does make me feel better and then I get dressed. Another step is to put my shoes on, as I won't get back into bed with shoes on. There are many pet owners here on SooS that can help you on the coaxing your dog back inside.
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carebear
New Member
Joined: April 2019
Posts: 4
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Post by carebear on Jun 15, 2019 14:04:48 GMT -5
My advice is to just start. Start small. Pick one little space to clear. That’s what I had to do. It has taken me 3 years to get from a level of squalor that would get me on the news to a place where I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a lot of baby steps and one thing at a time. Those little baby steps add up and are so worth it in the end. Good luck to you ❤️
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Post by Unswamping on Jun 15, 2019 19:10:14 GMT -5
gillian are you depressed? Anxious? That can interfere with getting out of bed. Are there things you can do at night that will help you get out of bed easier? For me, setting up the coffee the night before so all i have to do is turn it on in the morning is very important to me. I cant function without my morning coffee and if i had to prep the coffee maker in the morning, i might never get up.
Im not a current dog owner but have been in the past. I also took animal behavior classes in college. One thing that they are stressed is that dogs are pack animals and they look at their human as the "alpha dog". Sometimes we forget that about our pets nature. The roles get reversed and our dogs begin to think they are the ones who call the shots. Is a dog obedience class an option for you? If not, could you do some reading online about how to reestablish your dominance as the "alpha dog" in your house? I know it seems cold and clinical. Truthfully your dog will be happier if you do it, he/she will have the "protection" of you being the "alpha dog", its an expression of love for you to reestablish this dominance. Doing this would help with him not lustening when you call him to come in.
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Post by itsybitsy on Jun 15, 2019 22:34:50 GMT -5
I second Unswamping's advice about getting the coffee set the night before. There are times that I go to bed at night and am happy just thinking with anticipation about the next morning's coffee. Weird, I realize!
Please post again and know that we are here for you. You are worthy.
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Post by gillian on Jul 10, 2019 14:08:04 GMT -5
Thanks for all your messages and sorry for not replying sooner - I'd forgotten about this forum - apologies - don't know how I managed that!
It's just the getting up that's difficult - my bed is too cosy, but once I'm up, I'm up and there's no going back to bed until bedtime.
I soon got over the problem with the dog not coming in and although she is a bit stubborn at times, mostly she's no bother that way. I should point out that she is a husky and we have no enclosed space for her to be outside and off her lead, so we always have to take her out and walk with her when she wants out. A different problem has now occurred with her - she won't walk any distance with me. She gets taken on 3 walks a day, shared between my 2 sons who live with us and me - long, medium and short. For the last few weeks she has refused to go on any but the short walk with me, but has no problem with walking with the 2 men.
In spite of the extra time gained by the dog refusing to walk with me, I still don't manage to get much decluttering done. I'll just have to see if I fit 15 minutes of it into each day. I don't know where the time goes.
Gillian
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Post by maryaz on Jul 10, 2019 23:27:48 GMT -5
ah I can get lost in dozens of ways and suddenly the afternoon is gone and nothing done. One thing that helped me start to get on top of that was to write out what I was doing every 30 min time slot from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until I was in bed at night. Helped me figure some things out.
I have never been a real morning person and would love to sleep late, but I have too much to do. So I have 3 different alarms set, and usually hit snooze for at least 30 min before either my brain or my bladder kick in and I have to get up. (I never turn an alarm OFF until my feet are on the floor tho)
I do have days where I just Don't. Want. To. Do. ANYTHING. On those days I force myself to do 5 min in each room. Sometimes my motivation returns after that and sometimes I'm like Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I can try again.
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Post by larataylor on Jul 11, 2019 8:19:43 GMT -5
gillian - I suggest making a goal small enough to manage. Five minutes, ten minutes, getting one thing out of the house, or one thing back in place, etc. Just to get past the idea that these small actions are insignificant.
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Post by gillian on Aug 1, 2019 6:25:42 GMT -5
Maryaz, that's maybe a good idea, not turning off your alarm until your feet are on the ground. I had an aunt who didn't like the sound of her alarm clock ticking, so one night she got up several times to move it until she was happy that it was far enough away not to hear the ticking but still close enough that she could hear the alarm.
Lara, thanks for your suggestion. I think that might work for bedrooms and other rooms needing a clear out. The problem is, I don't seem to have much time left over after doing the basics.
I had ambitious plans for when the dog was away in kennels - youngest was on vacation - but they didn't materialise. However, dh and I did get a lot of clearing done in the yard and got a couple of car loads to the dump - hard plastic and scrap metal basically.
Gillian
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Post by puppybox on Aug 1, 2019 7:24:40 GMT -5
gillian are you depressed? Anxious? That can interfere with getting out of bed. Are there things you can do at night that will help you get out of bed easier? For me, setting up the coffee the night before so all i have to do is turn it on in the morning is very important to me. I cant function without my morning coffee and if i had to prep the coffee maker in the morning, i might never get up.
Im not a current dog owner but have been in the past. I also took animal behavior classes in college. One thing that they are stressed is that dogs are pack animals and they look at their human as the "alpha dog". Sometimes we forget that about our pets nature. The roles get reversed and our dogs begin to think they are the ones who call the shots. Is a dog obedience class an option for you? If not, could you do some reading online about how to reestablish your dominance as the "alpha dog" in your house? I know it seems cold and clinical. Truthfully your dog will be happier if you do it, he/she will have the "protection" of you being the "alpha dog", its an expression of love for you to reestablish this dominance. Doing this would help with him not lustening when you call him to come in.
this myth has been totally debunked by science. the only animals that have dominaNt ones is humans. it is DANGEROUS and IMMORAL to implement this to a dog. VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Aug 1, 2019 7:58:21 GMT -5
puppybox ..... Most animals have a noticeable social hierarchy.... While i wouldn't advocate being rough with the dog to Make her do what she is afraid to do, I imagine that using rewards as a behaviour modification trick would have results..
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Post by hannah on Aug 2, 2019 3:45:05 GMT -5
puppybox ..... Most animals have a noticeable social hierarchy.... While i wouldn't advocate being rough with the dog to Make her do what she is afraid to do, I imagine that using rewards as a behaviour modification trick would have results. I've had very good luck with clicker training. When the animal does what you want it to do, you "mark" the behavior with some kind of praise and give them a treat. Back when I worked, I even used this method on some of my employees. It was amazing how motivated they became when there were bite-sized candy bars involved!
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Post by larataylor on Aug 2, 2019 8:10:40 GMT -5
People respond to reward and punishment, and I have learned to use this in a positive way with DH. I was put off at first by thinking this was cold and manipulative. But I realized that we're actually "training" each other all the time.
If someone washes dishes and you criticize how they did it, you're training them to not do dishes. If you pay attention to someone only when they're doing something wrong, they'll do more things wrong. Attention, acknowledgment, admiration, and joy are the cookies that reward people.
Being on the right side of this phenomenon just feels better!
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Post by notanotherdecade on Aug 2, 2019 11:42:21 GMT -5
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