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Post by annieblue on Jul 14, 2009 13:25:03 GMT -5
Changing answers? ( Fireweed, Script & Serenitynow, thus far.) OF COURSE answers can be changed, even encouraged if it better represents the first step into squalor for you. It means you may not yet have gotten to the core of the matter. It means you've thought about it further & found something perhaps deeper or something that came earlier than the first answer. For instance, I easily could have said 'depression', & for many years it would have been my answer, but 'loss' really came just prior to the depression, & even further back was the trauma which is now my answer. That initial trauma was the thing which set into motion my inability to cope well with any subsequent difficult events, therefore it definitely was my original step into squalor. And all of my thinking along the way to reaching that inner layer has helped me feel more capable of getting beyond the squalor now, because I am aware of where my risks are & I am better able to recognize when I might be approaching the realm of overwhelm. Love to each & all.
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Post by sunshineshouse on Jul 14, 2009 13:30:33 GMT -5
Depression (following Trauma)
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jul 14, 2009 13:44:15 GMT -5
Avoidance.
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Post by valor on Jul 14, 2009 14:26:01 GMT -5
Depression. Following Abuse.
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Post by pegasus48 on Jul 14, 2009 14:43:27 GMT -5
Shame.
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Post by puppybox on Jul 14, 2009 14:44:17 GMT -5
I wish to ask
Getting Somewhere
if shame came BEFORE the squalor? tell me about that (if you want).
and I wish to ask
Alexanrdra
really? didn't something cause the "L@ziness" though? being ovewhelmed with kids or working too much or family problems or moving or... I'm not sure I really believe in l@ziness anymore, to talk about oneself anyway. the reason for that is not to coddle people and tell them bad is good, but because usually people who want to do something do it. People who don't do something that they want done usually have a reason, at "least" an emotional issue. so, if you wish, tell me more.
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 14, 2009 20:44:18 GMT -5
fear
*of intimacy/vulnerability (squalor tends to keep other people at an emotional and physical distance) *of change (squalor can be a way of preserving the past) *of doing something the wrong way (therefore, I don't do it) *of not doing something the best possible way (therefore, I don't do it) *of rejection (mostly by my parents, who also struggle with squalor - if I am different from them, will they still love me?) *of others' expectations of me (if I have a clean house, will they raise their expectations of me?) *of confronting old, painful memories (there may be tangible reminders of the past buried in the squalor) *of not being good enough (so I keep stuff in an attempt to document my own value as a human being) *of failure without an excuse (what if I, a high achiever, just cannot overcome squalor no matter how hard I try? What if I fail in other aspects of my life and have no squalor to blame it on?) *of my own feelings and issues (without squalor to distract me, I might actually have to feel my feelings and face my issues)
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Post by notanymore on Jul 15, 2009 13:55:53 GMT -5
Helplessness
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Post by HFH on Jul 15, 2009 14:48:16 GMT -5
Fear many of Polar bear's reasons for being afraid are so familiar
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 15, 2009 15:28:07 GMT -5
many of Polar bear's reasons for being afraid are so familiar Hello HFH, Thanks for this. I was afraid to post my reasons for being afraid (how ironic!) because I don't like to open up like that (fear of vulnerability). I posted anyway because I hoped that in doing so, I could help someone else and maybe myself. I'm thankful you were able to identify with what I wrote, and I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one with those fears.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jul 16, 2009 6:37:02 GMT -5
Ditto on what you said, Polar Bear, even though I already gave my word(s)... Well expressed.
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Post by gottaproblem on Jul 16, 2009 9:54:56 GMT -5
fear*of intimacy/vulnerability (squalor tends to keep other people at an emotional and physical distance) *of change (squalor can be a way of preserving the past) *of doing something the wrong way (therefore, I don't do it) *of not doing something the best possible way (therefore, I don't do it) *of rejection (mostly by my parents, who also struggle with squalor - if I am different from them, will they still love me?) *of others' expectations of me (if I have a clean house, will they raise their expectations of me?) *of confronting old, painful memories (there may be tangible reminders of the past buried in the squalor) *of not being good enough (so I keep stuff in an attempt to document my own value as a human being) *of failure without an excuse (what if I, a high achiever, just cannot overcome squalor no matter how hard I try? What if I fail in other aspects of my life and have no squalor to blame it on?) *of my own feelings and issues (without squalor to distract me, I might actually have to feel my feelings and face my issues) I was going to say avoidance, but Polar Bear expressed so many of my inner feelings. Well said Polar Bear!! Thanks for putting it into words for me.
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 16, 2009 18:34:38 GMT -5
Thanks, mellowyellow and gottaproblem.
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Post by Meme on Jul 16, 2009 19:02:00 GMT -5
I went through our words and nearly every one belong to me at one time or the other- one word is just a small part of a list-
another word I used and fully intended to fulfill was something I would say in my head =
later
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Post by Serendipity on Jul 16, 2009 19:33:33 GMT -5
inability to exercise
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